The Blocked Podcast

In this episode, Carolyn and Chris explore relationship blocks that come up surrounding finances. Being in sync with your partner on finances is an important foundational part to any marriage or serious long-term relationship. However, it is not the dollars and cents that are the blocks but the emotions that come up surrounding them. The way each partner views finances and money influence the mess...

In this episode, Carolyn and Chris explore boundaries. Boundaries are meant to define where a person begins and ends. They are often in place to be protective of a relationship. When they are clearly set and communicated, they can be a healthy and fruitful part of all relationships. Sometimes they can show up as blocks in our relationships and seem harsh and controlling. Boundaries can also someti...

In this episode, Carolyn and Chris discuss how a rushed apology can be a block to connection. Sometimes we can rush to an apology to smooth things over or because we just feel obligated to apologize. The rushed apology can act to remove some anxiety over the offense, but it does not really help to heal the hurt. Can you be curious about how you handle apologies, are you quick to apologize, do you...

In this episode Carolyn and Chris explore how perfectionism and procrastination show up as blocks in relationships. These two emotional regulation strategies can come across as overbearing or lazy, but what is actually driving them? We explore what may be going on under the surface and how being curious about that could be an opportunity to connect. Disclaimer: Some details have been edited for pr...

In this episode, Carolyn and Chris talk about how the emotion of anger shows up as a block in relationship. Anger, because of the negative behaviors associated with it, often gets a bad rap. Anger can be misunderstood and is often trying to communicate an unmet need, but the way it affects our partners can leave both partners hurt. If we can be curious in safe ways around anger, it may be possible...

In this episode Carolyn and Chris explore understanding emotions. Emotions for some are not very clear and end up blocking our ability to communicate what we are actually experiencing. We all experience emotions, but many people have a hard time understanding what our emotions are trying to tell us. We explore the adaptive nature of emotions, how we experience them through our bodies and the ways...

In this episode we explore how the families and models for relationships that we experienced influence how we handle emotion. How did our families handle emotion, conflict and resolution? When we look at some of these factors, our own responses to emotion and disconnection start to make more sense. Disclaimer: Some details have been edited for privacy purposes. The views and opinions expressed her...

In this episode we explore how stress can block our connections. How does daily stress make it hard to slow down and tune in? The structure of daily lives, driven by stress, keeps us from building margins to connect. When our daily lives put pressure on us to carry extra weight, we lose capacity to be present with our partners. Can we be curious about our partner’s stress and connect with each oth...

In this episode we further breakdown the negative cycle and the “go-to” moves we have learned to handle difficult emotions and disconnection. These strategies either move us toward our partners or away from our partners, but for very good reasons. We try to show how the messages we hear from the time we are children through adulthood influence the way we all handle emotion in relationship. Disclai...

In Episode 6 we identify the repeated patterns of disconnection in relationships that we in the EFT world call the negative cycle. Have you ever noticed that no matter what tension comes up in life, the way you and your partner respond to each other is the same. We often refer to the negative cycle in The Blocked Podcast and this episode gives more context to what this cycle is and how it pulls pa...

In Episode 5 we discuss how our past traumas can block our connection. Whether it is a big T trauma from death, injury, or sexual assault or little t trauma that we all experience, they can shift our worldviews and create really big responses. When this happens both partners struggle to make sense of the intense emotions that seem to come out of nowhere. We look at trauma as a violation in human c...

In our fourth episode we discuss how our relationship with our parents and in-laws can block our romantic relationships. We all bring in frameworks for our romantic relationships from how we saw that modeled for us. We navigate topics like the shift from parent/child to parent/adult child relationships, creating boundaries in our parental relationships that protect our romantic relationships, and...

In our third episode we discuss the blocks to intimacy. Intimacy is not only sexual but actually mostly emotional connection through being seen and known by your partner (into-me-see). Vulnerability is key and foundational to intimacy, but often gets blocked by our fears. Though always risky, vulnerability sometimes feels insurmountable without a base of trust, but like a rollercoaster, on the oth...

In this episode, we look at competing attachments, what they are, how they turn us away from our primary attachment figure (our significant other) and toward alternative sources of soothing.  We sometimes have good reasons for turning toward something or someone that is not our significant other, but that creates distance and pain in our relationships and we get stuck.  Although, when we can make...

This introductory episode features an introduction to the hosts, Chris Wells (chris@aohcc.com) and Carolyn Wenner (carolynwenner3@gmail.com), to the focus of the podcast, and to Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Disclaimer: Some details have been edited for privacy purposes. The views and opinions expressed here are for public consumption but are not meant to take the place of therapy and/or medi...