The Big Four Oh: The Podcast About Turning 40

Birgitta Visser kept making the same mistake over and over again in her romantic relationships. She had an acute case of what she called “doormat syndrome,” which meant she didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but that meant she would compromise well beyond what was reasonable in her relationships. That left her “walking in her own shadow,” neglecting her own feelings and needs until she was the...

As mother-daughter relationships go, Renee says hers with her mom was pretty good, but she never felt like she had permission to be herself. When she was a girl and her mom would make a dress, she’d make a smaller one in the same style and pattern for Renee. Her mom liked bright colors and patterns and Renee would have preferred more unobtrusive clothes. Renee wanted to fit in but her mom wanted h...

Jo Ann Fawcett was heavily influenced as a child by the image of the happy family from the TV show Leave it to Beaver, which left her with some - perhaps unreasonable - ideas of what a marriage should look like, but her upbringing left her without the tools to build a successful one. Jo Ann was married seven times and experienced abuse, divorce, and death of her spouse. Her last marriage, to an in...

Dana Diaz was born to a teenage mother who didn’t want her and grew up with a stepfather who was verbally and physically abusive. She left home as soon as she was legally able to and swore that nobody would ever treat her like that again. When she was 19, Dana met a man she didn’t like very much but she was lonely and starved for attention - and he was from a Leave it to Beaver kind of family. She...

Though he knows he came to the understanding late in life, Paul Zolman realized at age 35 that he was responsible for his own actions. He had residual anger from being abused as a child and he blamed his father even though the man had been dead for 7 years already. His initial approach to solving his problems came from a negative perspective, “I don’t want to be angry” instead of focusing on what...

When she was 35, Diane Woodford was living a pretty picture. She was married with two kids and a dog, living in her dream house, and driving a minivan to her dream job. She had no idea that everything was about to blow up. She says the next decade was when she transitioned from a caterpillar to a butterfly. But first, she had to make some decisions that not everyone would agree with but ultimately...

Dai Manuel was in his late 30s and the cofounder of a successful fitness industry company when he realized that all the trappings of success that he was chasing were from someone else’s dream. The things and experiences that he saw his business mentor and co-founder acquire were what he interpreted as “success.” After 17 years in this company, he realized he was trying to live someone else’s life,...

In the year leading up to her 50th birthday, Jennifer found herself divorced, an empty nester, let go from her career, and bed-ridden with a stress-related illness. In the space of a year, all of her identities were stripped away from her and, most days, she couldn’t even get out of bed. That led to wondering what was wrong with her and why her life had crumbled when everyone else looked like they...

At 20, Mitch Webb fell out a second story window on the first night of his college study abroad program. The fall left him with a traumatic brain injury, panic attacks and insomnia. In the years since, he’s dealt with black mold toxicity, Lyme disease, heavy metals poisoning, diabetes, and major hormonal imbalances. He was in a car accident that left him with another TBI and then spent three years...

Ryan Judd always knew he wanted to work with kids. Growing up, he took jobs as a camp counselor and babysitter. That led him through college and grad school into a career in music therapy serving children with special needs and autism. He experimented with creating a music therapy “package” that he could sell online. The project didn’t work but it led him to writing and releasing original, clinica...

When Justin Schenck was in high school, he would have been a contender for the “least likely to succeed” superlative. He had a 1.7 GPA; his mom was in the middle of her 20-year battle with opioids and his dad was in jail. So how did he become a successful entrepreneur and podcaster and a coveted speaker? Between ages 19 and 30, when Justin was chasing all the things society told him he “should,” w...

Mindy Aisling was in her 30s and living her best life on the Olympic Peninsula in the Pacific Northwest. But when she was 35, Mindy and her son and husband were on the way to the pumpkin patch when an intoxicated driver crossed the center line and hit them head on. She spent three months in a hospital bed and several years recovering from the accident. In this conversation, she talks about what sh...

Thanks to a long-distance relationship that turned toxic after she got pregnant and moved to be near her partner, Aveline Clarke had to navigate a messy five years in her late 30s. During this time she was trapped personally and geographically with two of her three children, before she could get back onto the path of her life. She introduced - and vigorously refuted - the concept of “spiritual gas...

In her late 30s, Amy Tsai was frustrated she couldn’t achieve what she wanted in her business, which led her to meditation and introspection. Then she learned that her mom had made a conscious decision when she was an infant NOT to pick her up when she was crying. This information helped her unravel the feelings of frustration that had been showing up in her relationships her entire life. After wo...

In this episode, Stephanie interviews Rachel Isabela, a first-generation American, about her journey of healing and personal growth. Rachel shares her experiences growing up with an emotionally absent father and the impact it had on her self-worth. She discusses her tumultuous marriage and the moment she made the decision to leave for the sake of her son. Rachel emphasizes the importance of self-a...

Deidre Harter’s second marriage was a harrowing journey of lies, fraud, and her husband’s imprisonment, all while she was raising their young son. It took seven years for her to realize she wasn’t satisfied and that she had a choice: either examine what’s going on and make some changes, or bury her head in the sand and keep going. She found the courage to ask the difficult questions: What is reall...

In this episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast Karel Chan discusses her journey to find peace and happiness. Karel shares her search for love and longing to become a mother, and how these desires shaped her relationships and decision-making. She discusses her formative adult years, the challenges she faced in relationships, and the inner child healing work she undertook to find self-acceptance and se...

Stephanie McLaughlin kicks off season four of the Forty Drinks Podcast by exploring the concept of the "Ick" - that feeling of something not quite fitting in our lives as we approach or pass our 40th birthday. She shares her own experience and the mission of the podcast, which is to make it common knowledge that there is a transition most of us face around age 40 and to showcase different versions...

Episode Introduction AdaPia d'Errico experienced three major awakenings between her early thirties and early forties. The first was “who am I?” The second was “what the hell am I doing?” And the third was an awakening in her physical body. She discusses the concept of identity in addition to her struggles with cultural differences, societal pressures, burnout, and health issues. AdaPia emphasizes...

Dr. Lisa Petty calls herself a “midlife alchemist,” who helps women navigate the big questions of midlife after arriving there with a sense of panic and uncertainty about her own identity and purpose. This led her to pursue a master's degree and eventually a doctorate focused on the wellbeing of women at midlife. She says the concept of “having it all,” introduced into the culture in the early 198...

Paula Conroy is an ex-banker turned entrepreneur who uses the ancient Indigenous wisdom of traditional Rites of Passage to help people make their way through the transitions we face at different points in our lives. After experiencing a dark night of her own soul, and working her way through the healing journey, Paula realized that she placed her power outside herself - in the job, the title, the...

For Sascha Siegmund, the month before his 40th birthday was a whirlwind of rapid change, from leaving a safe, stable job in finance with no plan to next steps, to a 10-day Buddhist silent retreat. After the turmoil of his job and leaving it unceremoniously after almost eight years, and the fear of what he’d do next, the silent retreat helped him find calm. Sascha said “in order to be healthy as an...

Paul Padmore was made redundant from his position at a startup in London in his early 40s, which led to feelings of embarrassment, shame and failure that he harbored for a long time. Ultimately, he realized that the important part was “to be in the arena” and able to learn and grow. He said, “ If we don't try and if we don't experience these moments, then growth is negligible.” Paul pondered failu...

Indra Rinzler is a healer and a teacher who has studied spiritual modalities for more than 50 years. He mainly works with astrology and Enneagram of Personality, which he explains in this episode. Indra shares his unique journey of self-discovery that started at the age of 24, which he believes helped him avoid a major life transition around the age of 40. As an  astrologer, Indra can identif...

When Carey Kirkella got pregnant at age 40, she had already been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and had survived two manic episodes, which - for her - are brought on by stress and lack of sleep. She knew she was predisposed to have postpartum mental health issues, so she worked to put a preventative care plan in place - most of which fell apart during labor, delivery and the aftermath. She ended...