The Avenging Hour

Thor asks for the team's help to defeat the demon hordes of Surtur in a story that has nothing to do with the Avengers. Then, both the original and West Coast teams combine to tackle Maelstrom once again as he siphons energy from the Earth's rotation in an effort to become relevant. 

It's the end of the first West Coast Avengers Limited Series. Everyone gets to wear a disguise! We find out that Iron Man isn't Iron Man! And the team wins by getting Graviton drunk! Sounds about right.

Here it is! The first part of the four-issue miniseries that launches more chaos into our lives, as we now have to cover two titles! See the obvious people that Vision forces Hawkeye to pick for the team! Laugh at the ridiculous villain they have to face! Wonder why they wasted so much time!

So there's this other bunch of Eternals that aren't the same as Starfox's Eternals, but they all come from the same place which has something to do with a bunch of needlessly confusing flashbacks. None of that matters now because Maelstrom is here to suck all the energy away (or to just plain suck). It's very tiring.

The Avengers first have to fight Hulk's pants...or is it Arnim Zola?...before heading back to Manhattan so Wasp and Starfox can be accidentally kidnapped by aliens...or are they Greeks?...no, they're aliens.

The Avengers head to Florida to battle a group of mushy aliens known as the Dire Wraiths. Starfox takes his shirt off. Wasp accidentally kidnaps herself. Vision breaks a desk. And Scarlet Witch remembers she's on the team. It's all very exciting.

The Marvel Secret Wars crossover event swoops in and steals most of our team away for a week or so. In their absence, Vision assumes control of the Avengers and announces the formation of a West Coast branch to be led by Hawkeye.

Dr. Strange, the Shroud, and Tigra take to the Astral Plane to battle against Morgan LeFay for the soul of Spider-Woman. Oh, and the Avengers are there too, I guess.

Not a lot going on here. Vision wakes up and gets connected to an intergalactic computer. She-Hulk goes apartment hunting. They tie up loose ends with Moonstone and Blackout. Then Hawkeye returns, we find out he's married (and partially deaf), and he gets roped into appearing on Late Night with David Letterman with some other reserve members for Assistant Editors Month.

Two issues guest-starring Spider-Man, who helps the team save Project Pegasus from first the Lava Men and then the combined ineptitude of Moonstone, Electro, Blackout, and Rhino. Wasp tries to reward Spider-Man for his help with membership to the team, but is quickly shot down by the government.

This is the first in a series of mid-week episodes that will bring everyone up to speed with the Avengers title from the beginning. In these first 25 issues, you'll learn how the team came together, who was involved, what villains they faced, and what ridiculous things they did. All the information with less of the listening!

Vision is still down for the count, so let's spend an issue getting to know Scarlet Witch through some exhausting flashbacks. Not good enough for you? Then how about She-Hulk sleeping with Starfox? Or Captain America being aggro about all his perceived failures? You say you want some action, huh...does a dumb fight with The Wizard count? Should we just apologize in advance?

The Avengers guest star in an Inhumans story and then we get the resolution to that invisible bubble thing. Spoiler alert: It's Annihilus. And Vision goes down for a hard reboot.

Iron Man gets drunk and quits the team. The rest of the Avengers rescue SHIELD and the President from the boring clutches of Plantman and his hordes of stick men, while Hawkeye breaks his leg just in time for Starfox to take his place in the lineup.

We finally, FINALLY, get to the end of the Hank Pym and Egghead saga. Hawkeye is cleared of murdering Egghead. Hank puts on the cerebral scanner and proves he was crazy without any outside influence. Then he gives up the Yellowjacket costume, says his goodbyes, and wanders off into the sunset.

We meet the new Captain Marvel, who immediately joins the team. Wasp has brunch. And we get lost in endless flashbacks. Then the Masters of Evil attack in a clever plan to rescue Hank Pym from his trial...

Tony Stark thinks it would be a good idea to date the Wasp without telling her he's Iron Man, but Cap begs to differ. Then, Dr. Druid and the Black Knight drag the team into some sort of Lord of the Rings nightmare that results in Dane Whitman being brought back to present day. Hooray!

A new Masters of Evil lineup stumbles across Avengers mansion and then Hawkeye, Ant-Man, and Taskmaster all run into each other at a carnival. It's a week full of coincidences...

First a domestic violence dispute bores the Avengers into fighting the Defenders, and then our heroes realize that they need more than four members to be entertaining, so they throw a membership draft AGAIN...

Drax the Destroyer and Moondragon force the team to travel to some faraway planet just so Moondragon can sleep with Thor. I mean, sure, Drax makes it seem like it's more important than that, but then he dies. So who really knows?

As if hitting his wife, trying to murder his friends, and getting divorced wasn't enough, Egghead pounds the final nail into the coffin of Yellowjacket's career by framing him in a uselessly elaborate scheme. Then a kid stops by the mansion to kill himself, turn into a sun monster, and come back to Earth again as a child. It is dumb.

Hank Pym wanders off after trying to kill everyone, but the team decides to go fight Ghost Rider instead of caring. Then Silver Surfer accidentally brings Molecule Man back to life and we have to spend two issues trying to make him go away. Oh, and Tigra quits, dropping the membership down to only the Big Three.

It's all falling apart for Hank Pym. First he shoots an Elfqueen in the back, then the team initiates a court-martial against him, then he smacks Wasp around, and then he programs a giant robot to attack the team so he can save them and look like a hero...except he doesn't.

The useless Weathermen threaten our team with moistness! Moondragon mind controls us into a new lineup! Everybody interesting leaves and Tigra joins! Jim Shooter returns as writer and we're almost into the good issues!

Hey everybody, say hello to Rogue! She makes her first appearance here fighting alongside the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants against our heroes. Carol Danvers also returns and is none too happy. Then Beast travels through time to collect the Resurrection Stone and save his girlfriend's life. I've made it all sound much more interesting than it is.