The Authentic Gay Man Podcast

My Guest, Tyler Boyle came out a little later in life.  He shares his unique perspective on the rude awakening of what he thought gay life was going to be like, after coming out... and what it really was.  While coming out stories are abundant in our community, "after coming out" stories are definitely underrated.  He speaks on how feeling like "the other" was such a big part o...

My guests Travis Stock and Bryan Kosarek couldn't have been better partners to dive deep into this topic.  We discuss the continuum from conscious masculinity to performative masculinity and everything in between.  Masculinity as an external way of being and also as an unseen energy that is in all of us, even if we aren't aware of it.  We also discuss the interplay of masculine and femin...

Rob was infected with HIV over 30 years ago by his narcissistic and abusive first partner. He shares the story of going from victim to owning his part in that experience. This, layered with a long list of illnesses, will definitely make you feel grateful for whatever you have endured. Rob's message of positivity and never giving up has proved to be most valuable to him as his doctors now tell...

Grant Miller shares his story of being diagnosed with HIV and AIDS in the early 80s, being told he had about 6 months to live.  As he talked about the negative stigma and rejection that went along with being HIV+, combined with a non-supportive family, his story brought tears to my eyes twice during our conversation.  He talks about a time when he really believed he had nothing to live for, yet th...

If you have a story that you don't fit in much of anywhere, this episode is the ticket.  My guest, David Beers, shares his story of a family, a school,  and a town where he didn't fit in.  On top of that, his experiences include childhood emotional, mental, physical, and sexual abuse.  As an adult he married a woman, had a child, divorced, remarried and finally came to his moment when he...

While we don't talk about this much, the percentage of gay men that have been sexually abused or assaulted is very high.  My guest, Darren Sage, shares losing his virginity at age 24, when his boyfriend plied him with alcohol and forced himself on Darren.  That trauma has had a lasting effect on Darren's ability to engage in sex or any type of relationship, romantic or plutonic.  Darren...

My guest, Brad Shreve, has had a lot of challenges in life starting with internalized homophobia, a broken marriage after coming out, sexual addiction, alcohol, drugs, domestic abuse, homelessness, time in a psych ward, and a long struggle after recovery. Just as it seemed life was coming together, he spiraled out of control to where he could barely function, only to be diagnosed with bipolar diso...

Mike Iamele shares an incredible story of how a life-threatening illness brought him to, not only the love of his life, but also, his true purpose in life.  His story telling abilities are remarkable and I found myself covered in goosebumps and totally speechless multiple times.  Mike's story clearly demonstrates how our greatest challenge in life can end up being our biggest gift.  If you wa...

After a lifetime of creating art, Paul Lorenz puts himself out there in a more bold way that ever before.  As a result of the pandemic, Paul's art took a 180 degree turn when he decided to exhibit very provocative images of himself at age 60.  He went from painting to self-photography that would include a long period of deep reflection.  If you struggle with putting yourself out into the worl...

Brian Janes had a wife of 30 years, two teenage kids, and a successful career.  At face value, everything looked good.  The problem was that Brian didn't have a clue who he really was.  He shares a story of being in the 7th grade and being so numb from repressing feelings that he didn't understand, that he would cut himself with a razor blade, just so he could feel something.  Everything...

My guest, Anthony Eaton lost his partner to cancer only 5 weeks before this episode recording.  With the loss being so fresh, Anthony demonstrates inspiring courage as he shares about their life together, 4 years of caregiving, and finally saying goodbye.  Anthony shares some golden nuggets of wisdom for caregivers and for those who have experienced the loss of a loved one.  He brings such a fresh...

Terry McHale shares his story of having highly religious parents and how unauthentically he lived his young life in order to survive.  Being who he really was...was anything but safe.  Even though he was well liked and respected in school, there was a painful emptiness because he was not able to be himself. That emptiness led him to attempt suicide, while in college.  This turned out to be a defin...

Craig Brucato shares his story of the years that he spent in the closet, denying who he really was and how it lead him down a path of drug addiction and destructive behaviors.  He also shares how he found redemption and his way to a happy and fulfilling life, filled with a great career, loving children and grandchildren, and a healthy relationship. Craig works for a corporate beauty company and is...

If abandonment issues have been a part of your life, Tim shares his wisdom in how he took responsibility for healing and moving past the pain.  He also speaks of how authenticity and vulnerability played a pivotal role in his resilience and overall journey to fulfillment.  There's some worthwhile conversation on control issues and what causes our need for control.  At age 73, Tim is still lea...

My guest, Brian George, shares that the messages he received while growing up were so strong that he truly believed he could never be his authentic self... he would die pretending to be someone other than who he was.  This caused him to live with deep depression, anxiety, and a profound desire to end his life... end his pain.  This went on from high school until his early 50s.  It was an affair wi...

Whether you are a parent or not, this story will inspire you, warm your heart, and leave you in awe.  My guest, Brian Gorman, gets a call one day from a high school student that was being thrown out of his home, with nowhere to go. Brian had had a brief experience with this young man two years earlier when he agreed to be interviewed by Brandon for a school project.  Now, two years later, Brian is...

Jonathan Rivera shares his experience with the more subtle aspects of racism.  His big challenge is around frequently feeling like he is excluded in social settings.  It's glaringly obvious when he is only one of a couple of men of color in a room filled with white gay men, who don't acknowledge him and treat his as if he is invisible.  He talks about his journey from victimhood to learn...

If you have experienced rape or sexual assault, this is your episode.  My guest, Michael Ward, was raped and later sexually assaulted by the same perpetrator.  A few years later, he endured sexual assault again, this time from a man he was in relationship with.  With no real support from family of other gay friends, these experiences caused Michael to take a long hard look at his life and the choi...

Jimmy Allen brings such authenticity and vulnerability to this episode as he shares his painful experience of discovering he had a skin disease called Vitiligo. This disease causes loss of skin color in patches and is most commonly found is people of color. He recounts his journey from denial, resistance, and desperation to self-love and self-acceptance. His heartfelt way of telling his story was...

Guest, Pedro Dorta and I take a deep dive into social masks and how they completely block any chance of emotional intimacy.  We also discuss how delusional we are to think that others don't see through our masks.  Like attracts like, so when you show up wearing a mask, you will attract others that are wearing a mask. It you want hints into lowering the mask and experiencing more connectedness...

Britt East tells his dark story of a deeply codependent relationship and having no family or community to rely on when his partner betrayed him by having sex with a minor.  After horrific police brutality and an arrest, Britt's life was left in shambles.  The saga does have a happy ending and a treasure trove of golden nuggets of wisdom in all that Britt shares.  If you want to be inspired by...

If you have ever struggled with approval issues, I hope you hang with me  for this episode.  My guest, Warren shares his story of emotional abandonment, a lack of belonging, being date raped and how it set him up to be an extreme people pleaser.  For many years, he actually used money to buy people's love, attention, and approval.  He talked about how out of alignment he was with his core val...

If you would like to have a better understanding of Authenticity, this Fireside Chat With Maddox is for you. My guests, Ed S, Randy Woodring, and Britt East and I take a deep dive into what it means to be an authentic gay man.  We each delve into questions such as... In the past, what has stood in your way of being authentic? What does NOT being authentic cost you? How do you know when you are act...

If you have ever felt like you were on "the outside, looking in", you'll gain value from this episode, so stay tuned!  Ed shares life growing up as a Jehovah's Witness and how their rules kept him cut off from the outside world.  When he made the decision to leave the religion at age 27, he suddenly found himself alone, with no support system whatsoever.  With no sense of belon...

Grant Miller shares his experience in two separate relationships with narcissists, saying that he obviously didn't learn his lesson with the first one.  He details what a narcissist looks like and the many ways that they behave.  He recounts what this experience cost him and what he gained, once it was all said and done.  If this wasn't enough, he then went through a battle with colon ca...