The Angsty Pod

I've just arrived to Koh Samui, Thailand. It's a quiet island and I am as lonely as one could ever be - there are no humans (except my sweet neighbor, Rod) and I've got a wretched sunburn. I share two stories of when I trusted a random stranger - one went well and one went sideways. I get suuuuper introspective and write and write and write. Spoiler Alert: this episode ends on a cli...

It's early 2019 and I've just arrived in Thailand. I'm staying with my best friend who is, like me, a bit of a mess but trying to hold it all together. We eat until we can't eat anymore, walk until we can't walk anymore, sweat until... you get the idea. In this episode, I uncover the real reason why I went to Thailand and it's only partially selfish. I pine for a good...

This episode is an absolute rollercoaster. I've just turned 16 and am spending every waking moment of my life (when I'm not in Driver's Ed!) with my uber possessive/moody boyfriend. I haven't seen my friends in months. Both my parents are M.I.A. which just leaves me and my boyfriend, making out all over the place. Make sure you listen to this one til the end because I share one...

In part two of this two-part episode, my lover Siva and I cuddle up in his basement and record a super sweet episode that makes my heart sing. This episode is a departure from the usual angst, but don't worry... it's still full of big emotions, drama, and laughs. In this episode, it is November 2021, and Siva and I have just met for a friendly coffee date where we think we are agreeing t...

In part one of this two-part episode, my lover Siva and I cuddle up in his basement and record a super sweet episode that makes my heart sing. This episode is a departure from the usual angst, but don't worry... it's still full of big emotions, drama, and laughs. I read diary entries from our first, second, and third date, and we discuss how it felt when I broke things off with him. Then...

It's January 2004. I'm 15 going on 30 and am falling for the boy-next-door who sells pot and has sideburns. We spend our days making out and quoting Mall Rats. We are falling hopelessly while we try to navigate the rollercoaster that is our young love. Hormones rage. Jealousy rages. Our love blooms and brawls. In this episode, I share the embarrassing story of the first time I saw/touche...

I'm 15 going on 16 and about to fall in love for what feels like the hundredth time. But this time, something feels different. I'm scared to get vulnerable with Grant because "what if he wastes all his goodness on me." There are too many love triangles to count in this one... my bestie is crushing on my ex, the love of my life is in love with someone else, the guy who might lik...

"Writing is less about filling the page and more about discovery..." I am very into Julie Fontes as a writer and as a hilarious, sweet, genuine human being. My interview with her went in every direction imaginable... we candidly chat about ED, sobriety, toxic relationships, the life of a writer, social media addiction, mental wellness, and more. I personally love how this conversation ju...

It's the summer of grade 9 and I am throwing my bestie a surprise birthday party. It's very pop-and-chips - a bunch of kids just playing games and fighting in the pool. At the party, my mom reveals something that changes the course of my childhood forever. Also, in this episode, I am struggling with my sister's weight loss/ED and swooning over too many boys. It's a wild ride an...

I'm halfway through my first year of high school. I'm about to break up with my first boyfriend (Nick Lachey from Episode 8!) but not before I enter into a super weird love triangle with my friend, who I will call "J," who is 6 years older than me. I have moved on from O-Town and am very into Dashboard Confessional and quote them to my journal every chance I get. I hate the way...

I've just entered highschool and had my first real kiss AND my first real boyfriend so basically, total chaos. My friendships are unravelling, my parents are fighting. My OCD and ED are on fire but no one knows except me and my dear old diary. This one is a goodie and less intense than the last few. I hope you all enjoy it! --- To read more about my friend Austen's story, you can go here...

Content Warning: This episode describes multiple sexual assaults. It's 2002. It's the summer before high school starts. I am straddling the line between young, innocent 13-year-old girl who just wants to decorate my journal with glitter and go to the mall with my friends, and a very grown-up young woman who is about to experience one of the most traumatic events of her life. Listen to th...

I read my diary from 2017, through tears, as I recount the events that led to me filing for bankruptcy.  I re-live some of the most anxiety-ridden days of my life and talk about what it was like for me to move back in with my father when I was 29-years-old. I take you on some twists and turns and get choked up more than once. It's all in the name of honestly though, and I hope this episode he...

"Fruit for breakfast. Veggies, fruit, and crackers for lunch. Something light for dinner. No snack." It's New Year's Day, 2002. I am 13 going on 14 and have just gotten drunk for my first time. I am eternally embarrassed by my mother. I am worried about my sister. My dad asks me if I'm anorexic and I share a lot about my disordered eating which is festering. Calista Flockh...

"I don't know how to love myself when I'm sad..."  When I set out to launch a podcast, my main goal was to have a space to sit and talk to my writer friends about not just words, but grief and mental health and psychology and healing. This episode is my wish embodied! 27-year-old me got to hang out with 27-year-old Maria Mosca and tea was spilled!!!  So grab a beverage (or thre...

In this episode, I have just entered eighth grade and the World Trade Centers were attacked. I am angry and bitter and confused about life, death, my sexuality, and my sister's indifference. I'll also share the story of how I met my very best friend and why we never dated. This episode is loaded with the kind of angst that really made me giggle.  -- Do you have an embarrassing or endeari...

"We met. We fell in love. We went to Paris. We said goodbye." <3 In this episode, I read from my diary titled, "Eurotrip 2018." I eat pot brownies in Amsterdam, turn thirty in Alfama, fall on my face in Porto, fall in love-ish with a man named Marco in Paris, and end my trip in Spain. During this season of my life, I was six months out of an eight-year relationship and deep...

In this episode, I'll be reading my very first diary... or at least, the first diary that I kept. Its cover is decorated in the phone numbers of every kid in my class plus some glitter for good measure. In the back, there is a glossary where I define "love," "like," "dump," and "crush." Listen as I meet up with ten-year-old me for a tea - we talk about...

Welcome to, "The Angsty Pod!" The podcast where I, your host, will be reading you pages from the stack of diaries I've kept since I was 10 years old, one stupid page at a time! For more info on my work as a writing coach or to sign up for workshops, head to www.doulaofwords.com Follow on IG & threads @doulaofwords To sign up to be a guest, please email Yoda at yoda@thedoulaofwor...