The Allender Center Podcast

Many of us encounter pornography at some point in our lives - often, our first exposure is during adolescence. Whether we encountered pornography intentionally or not, it is a form of sexual abuse that can lead to shame and a distorted view of our own desire. In an effort to stop living at war with our desire, and to redeem it, we need to understand our own sexual abuse stories. This week, we're j...

We were honored to sit down for a conversation with Ian Morgan Cron, best-selling author and renowned Enneagram authority.  In this conversation hosted by Dan and Rachael, @ianmorgancron shares how to use the Enneagram to push past old, stale stories and unlock inner power for both spiritual and personal growth.  In this episode, you'll gain new insight about how to rewrite broken narratives and s...

Are you ever officially "done" parenting your child when they become an adult? Listen to this insightful and playful conversation between this week's guest, Amanda Christian, and her dad - Dr. Dan Allender.

As an adult child, you have a very different relationship with your parents than you did in your youth. If we are given the privilege of having a relationship with our parents as they age, how does that relationship evolve in order for us to engage with them and care for them?  Listen as Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen speak from their generational perspectives about the relationship between...

We have all experienced some degree of trauma in our lives. If you're married or partnered, you need to have a trauma informed partnership to be mindful of how our trauma stories and narratives impact our relationship. In this episode, Dr. Dan Allender and Becky Allender are joined by Dr. Steve Call and Lisa Call to share their experiences in addressing personal trauma in the context of marriage.

Many of us live in these "false Edens," a space of being blissfully unaware that there is pain, heartache, and trauma which we must confront. When we consciously choose to engage our own stories and deconstruct these "false Edens" in which we're living, we can move more freely into our calling to find true redemption on the other side. Who better than to discuss this with us than this week's podca...

This week, Cathy Loerzel is our impromptu host as she facilitates a conversation between Dan Allender and his friend of nearly five decades, Scotty Smith, a pastor, writer, and consultant. You'll get to listen in on how we can engage our stories as we age and how we can share those stories with others over the years.   This conversation might make you feel like you're sitting around a cozy table w...

During stressful seasons, taking a moment to care for yourself can help your body respond to the stress and find grounding.  What does "grounding" mean? It's engaging in practices that bring you back to your body and refocuses your thoughts when you may be experiencing the effects of stress, anxiety, or trauma. Join Jeanette White, the Executive Director of the Allender Center, and Rachel Sanchez,...

Change is inevitable, and transitioning through change often holds together two realities: grief for things that have been lost and hope for what lies ahead. How do we navigate these transitions when it feels as if we're wandering through the wilderness? Listen as Dan and Rachael talk with Jon DeWaal of Liminal Space about how we might approach walking through seasons of transition in our lives, o...

With so many things fighting for our attention, how do we intentionally create space of goodness for ourselves and others? Join us as we contemplate what it means to focus on the things that matter as we begin this new year.

How do we begin to process this past year and look forward to a new year when so many things feel beyond our control? In this special New Year's Day edition, husband and wife duo Dan and Becky Allender discuss establishing rituals and rhythms that can keep us grounded and centered as we enter 2022.

This Christmas day we are taking a break from our regularly scheduled episodes, but wanted to leave you with a reading of Mary's Song, The Magnificat, as a way to celebrate the radical nature of the incarnation and the Advent season.

This season of gift-giving may prompt a myriad of layered feelings: excitement, pressure, anticipation, dread, hope, and inadequacy. How do we give gifts that are truly meaningful and encourage a deeper connection with the recipient? Join Dan and Rachael as they discuss gifting in this special holiday episode.

As we enter the Advent season, Dan and Rachael reflect upon Mary's Magnificat with theologian Dr. Chelle Stearns from the Seattle School of Theology & Psychology. Join the conversation to consider what it means to let our hearts be open to our own places of ache yet also be open to the invitation to transform in response to this revolutionary idea of "God with us."

As we continue to celebrate the 10th Anniversary of The Allender Center, we have two special guests from The Allender Center team joining Dan and Rachel this week: Linda Royster from the Training and Pastoral Team, and Sam Lee, the Director of Facilitator Development. Linda and Sam candidly share their experiences as BIPOC leaders on The Allender Center team pursuing the work of defining and heali...

Join Dan and Rachael as they explore the intimate relationships we have in our lives now - our spouses, children, roommates and friends - and how we can embrace grief and gratitude to engage with those closest to us.

As we prepare to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday, Dan and Rachael continue their discussion on the intersection of grief and gratitude, focussing on how to engage those categories in our families of origin. In this episode, they dive into how to balance these two realities in our stories while we're in a season of family gatherings and celebrations.

Dan and Rachael start a new series on grief and gratitude. In this episode, they outline the importance of being open to grieving in order to be open to true gratitude and the ways our bodies naturally respond in both grief and gratitude.

Dr. J. Derek McNeil, president of The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology and Cathy Lorezel, Co-founder of The Allender Center join Dan and Rachael for a special anniversary episode. They share some beginning behind-the scenes stories of how The Allender Center was birthed and what drives us to stay in this work in the future.

This week, Dan and Rachael discuss how hiding keeps us from being authentic. Sometimes hiding can be an outright refusal to let others see, and other times, our hiding can be harder to notice. In the episode, Dan and Rachael talk about the ways we hide, how to let others know and see us more, and the freedom that comes with that kind of authenticity.  

This week, Dan and Rachel discuss sabotage and its connection to self contempt, which has capacity to ruin communities and lives.

This week, Dan and Rachael discuss scapegoating as a kind of rage that moves into the dehumanization of others. Stemming from contempt and judgement, the topic of scapegoating also brings up the experiences of projection and envy. As they ponder these categories, the ask the question: How do we become aware of our own propensity towards scapegoating and our use of it to escape what we don't want t...

What keeps us from engaging well with one another?  For the next few weeks on the podcast, Dan and Rachael are going to be debating four categories that prevent us from connecting well, beginning with rage . In a time when people's margins and capacity are thinner than ever, how do we differentiate between rage and anger and how we can attend to our bodies and wellbeing in the midst of someone's r...

When Cyndi Mesmer agreed to participate in the very first Training Certificate program in 2011 (now Certificate in Narrative Focused Trauma Care Level I), she anticipated a laid-back conference where she would gather a few insights and make small talk with other attendees.  Instead, what she and fellow facilitator Scott Gibson encountered would change the course of their lives, relationships, and...

Today on the podcast, Dan and Rachael finish a conversation on spiritual and sexual abuse by discussing the impact of these types of abuse and ways we can begin to find healing. They acknowledge that at times it can be difficult to distinguish between the two, determine which came first, or how they affect the other, which is to be expected—these abuses are complex and nuanced. As you listen to th...