Text Me Back! With Lindy West And Meagan Hatcher-Mays

It’s a week of chaotic tidings for Lindy and Meagan that includes a befuddled Barry, rogue Cochin chickens, and snakes galore. Lindy’s spontaneous road trip has an unexpected ending, Meagan has an unhinged encounter with a live rooster on the streets of DC, and our beloved segment SNAKE OF THE WEEK is back. Move over Freekaconda and Titanoboa, new large snakey queen just dropped. Also, because din...

This week we are proud to report that we have a husband listener! Welcome, buddy! And what a time to be a new listener and/or a husband, because in this episode Lindy and Meagan are doing the Lord’s work: ranking dragons. We’re talking about Smaug. We’re talking about Puff. We’re talking about…the other ones. BUT THEN, as if that wasn’t enough, Lindy and Meagan bravely breach a topic few have dedi...

This week's episode is hot hot hot—literally and figuratively. We’ve got a special guest! Our personal hero Lizz Winstead, who's been making waves in comedy and politics for decades. And Lindy does NOT make it weird. One dragon question per guest IS normal. Lizz Winstead is the co-creator and former head writer of The Daily Show, co-founder of Air America Radio, and current powerhouse behind Abort...

This week, Lindy and Meagan both realize that they've been having thoughts about dogs, which we're sharing in a new segment called DOG THOUGHTS. What if dogs could sweat? And what, exactly, is the nature of a dog's business? Then, we have a story from the Best Friend Party Phone about a piece of fan mail gone horribly wrong--a seemingly innocent letter traumatized a room full of fourth graders, te...

What a day! Lindy delivers some hot hot hot breaking news: she's become a flat earther, for real, not a joke*, and you won't BELIEVE what finally pushed her over the edge, so to speak. (It involves one Instagram reel, two mysterious travelers, and an unconfirmed number of dragons.) Then, Meagan updates us on her DC swamp life in a new segment called "Oops, I Crapped My Real Job!" Find out what Mea...

This week, something has gone wrong with Meagan's brain and it's NOT a worm! It has something to do with finding an Amish dog named Kevin online, becoming hypnotized by his tiny bear face, then entering a fugue state and traveling to his location in Lancaster, PA with $850 in cash and the backing of literally dozens of listeners to purchase him. Is this an ethical way to acquire a dog? No. Was Kev...

In this week's episode, Lindy reveals that her neighborhood bear is BACK, and his threat level has been upgraded to "habituated trash bear." No pic-a-nic basket is safe! Lindy also breaks her silence on a secret she's been keeping about the band Imagine Dragons, and Meagan finally addresses the elephant in the room: does Lindy... not listen to music????? Meagan reaches into the mailbag and shares...

In this week's episode, Lindy and Meagan are comin' atcha LIVE from the Cascade PBS Ideas Festival with a very special celebrity guest: actor, comedian, girls' girl, Hollywoodlandman, and kind of a lawyer(!!!), Guy Branum! Meagan and Lindy trick Guy into giving up the goods on every single celebrity encounter he has ever had, including a drunken cab ride with a freestyle-rapping Zac Efron and a pe...

In this week's episode, Lindy and Meagan once again trick themselves into maybe becoming Christians?? Because Divine Providence has once again struck the podcast as holy connections are made between pubes, German composer George Frideric Handel, and the Text Me Backolytes who love them. Alas, Lindy and Meagan quickly dispense with beatification and instead turn to necromancy -- bringing back two o...

Hi Besties! It's here, the crossover episode the streets have been CLAMORING FOR! Sure, it was the streets of Longview, Washington, but the clamoring happened. We heard it. ...Anyway, this week Meagan and Lindy join forces with our besties Luke and Andrew from Too Beautiful to Live! We form a supergroup (eat it, Vedder!!!!!), fall victim to aesthetic pots and pans, catch an enormous spider, and ul...

When the Best Friend Party Phone rings, Lindy and Meagan ANSWER. This week, we hear FROM YOU, our beloved Text Me Backolytes, with stories about the historical figures who make up the very Mount Rushmore of Text Me Back: a squirrel skull, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, and a horny ghost. We also introduce two very special new songs to the lore, including one from literal famous person -- and Lindy's former col...

Hi Besties! On this week's episode, Lindy apologizes for immediately failing at being a YouTuber, and Meagan brings sad news about a beloved Text Me Backolyte from the animal kingdom -- that's right, Lindy and Meagan are mourning the loss of the beautiful, enormous snake queen of the Amazon we grew to love, our beloved Freekaconda. Did she die of natural causes? Or were more nefarious forces at pl...

Hello? Are you seeing this? Is the podcast entering your earholes?? Then it must be true that your besties Lindy and Meagan FIGURED OUT HOW TO PODCAST!! Thank you for taking this journey with us, and we hope you enjoy our first-ever INDEPENDENT EPISODE, wherein we: Beg you for money Learn additional and even harsher lessons about the limits of our charisma (it turns out Lorraine wasn't the only ha...

All the women, who independent: throw your hands up at Lindy and Meagan because they are the Independent Women (Pt. 1) that Destiny’s Child foretold. That’s right, our beautiful partnership with KUOW is coming to a close — but never fear! The podcast will continue as an INDEPENDENT production! We hope you’ll consider supporting us by subscribing to our Patreon. This week’s episode is a banger of a...

This week, Lindy and Meagan go LIVE in front of an audience at Town Hall Seattle! Meagan talks about the dude she almost fought at breakfast the morning of the show. Lindy explains why she missed her family reunion in Norway - and why Meagan went without her. Then celeb guest / bestselling author / world-class gift-giver / NBA fan Angela Garbes plays a truly epic round of FMK with the nine Supreme...

For one shining moment you reached for the sky…and voted for the WINNER of Text Me Bracket, our deranged bracket game that pitted the Best Animals against the Worst People! This week, Lindy and Meagan announce the winner and talk through the intense matchups, the various losers, Cinderella stories, and devastating upsets. From Kayak Dad to Mr Darcy, there’s much to discuss. And when Text Me Bracke...

Text Me Back takes on...sports?! OK, hang on. We know your elegant pointer finger is hovering over the skip button right now. But Lindy and Meagan promise you…NBA basketball is actually funny as hell and more dramatic than Love Is Blind. And you don't even really have to watch the games to get the top-shelf comedy. (Although that's where you see the dunks. And the dunks are incredible.)   And spea...

This week on Text Me Back, the greatest podcast in the history of media, Lindy and Meagan dive into their texts to share some hard truths: Tom Cruise is great! Chris Pratt is actually funny? Sorry, discourse, but we need to discuss our problematic faves. And, your intrepid hosts have departed Independence, Missouri, with nothing more than a dream, a covered wagon, a dimwitted guide, and an unhygie...

This week, Lindy and Meagan can barely contain themselves because they're recording the show in the same room for the first time in Text Me Back history! And unfortunately, the room they're recording in is probably haunted! Speaking of history, Lindy reveals the blockbuster information she uncovered about her own family's history thanks to the internet. And Meagan reveals a long-buried memory from...

This week on Text Me Back, particularly poignant hosts Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays get scammed by the airline industry and online retailer Saks Off Fifth. Then, bestselling author and Internet historian Taylor Lorenz gives us a reality check on the government PSYOP creating cringe millennial content. She also joins us for a round of FMK(W) Tech CEO edition. Want more Taylor? Of course you d...

Text Me Back! hosts / everyone's soul mates Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays understand that Valentine's Day is a made-up holiday. But they love you so much, they made this special Valentine's Day bonus episode just for you anyway! It's chock full of previously unreleased content about Lindy and Meagan's true love, the Lord Of The Rings trilogy. Lindy and Meagan bring in a special guest to answe...

Did you know Lindy once wrote and performed a whole entire 80's sitcom-style theme song for this podcast? She did! And did you know Australia will  come for you if you try to sneak a plant or animal in? Meagan knows all too well! In this little mini-episode, you'll hear the podcast theme song that almost was. And you'll learn about one of the more cringeworthy punishments the Australian government...

This week on Text Me Back!, condiment fanatic hosts Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, ketch-up for the first time in a long time. Meagan fills us in on the details of which long and boring film she watched that will likely get an Oscar and Lindy had a close encounter with a revenant relative. Then, Doug Lindner, a VIP from Swamp Town, joins us as we venture into getting serious about democracy a...

This week on Text Me Back, generally optimistic hosts Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays allow themselves exactly 4 minutes of time total to hate on Senator Dick Durbin and cream cheese frosting. Then, Lindy and Meagan get too scared to shower after reading some listeners' real-life close calls with The Killer. And bestselling author and beloved TV writer Samantha Irby enters the chat to explain h...

This week on Text Me Back!, all-star championship hosts, Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays debate a teeny tiny selection of historical battles--from the cinema to the sea. That's right it's the versus, verzuz? episode. First up, a journey across time for the best congressional duels. Then, we settle an age-old question: Which is the best "Pride and Prejudice" adaptation? And, put down the Seattle...