Terrible Book Club

Get your flannels, ciders, and s'mores ready for this week's discussion of  Campfire Stories of Western Canada by Barbara Smith! Paris's friend Kristina recommended this for the show 6 years ago and we finally found a nice spot for it on the schedule. Thanks for sending us on this silly autumnal adventure, Kristina! Today's show includes our usual barnyard language plus cartoon-level "spooky" stuf...

One Hundred Proofs that the Earth is Not a Globe was written and self-published by William M. Carpenter in 1885. However, Chris found this on a homeschooler's Twitter page where it was recommended for teaching children in 2023, so we figured it was worth a review. Folding Ideas: In Search of a Flat Earth Science of Our Spherical Earth: Neil deGrasse Tyson Demonstrates Absurdity of Flat Earth Dave...

The 9th Colony by Colin Curtis was vanity published through AuthorHouse UK in February of 2023. We received an email from a podcast PR rep asking us to have the author on the show as a guest. We don't have authors on the show, but we get a lot of these emails because some PR companies just send blanket form emails without actually having any idea what the podcasts or other entities they're contact...

If you're interested in our take on a WWII popcorn spy thriller, it's here! It's hard for us to say no to reviewing a book when you mail it to us. We got a copy of  His Majesty's Hope through the magnificence of the US postal system from our Patron EasternSwiss. They asked us to read it for their Patron's Choice episode this year, telling us that this book is about, " a British tutor [who] becomes...

We've got another reddit find for you this week! Paris found this when perusing the latest "What's the worst book you've ever read?" post that surfaces a few times each year in various literary subreddits. In one response, redditor u/lydiardbell explained that Interview with the Devil (Part 1 - Victor's Account)  was indeed the worst book they've ever read. What made it really memorable was that t...

This week, we discuss our experience reading Golden (The Golden Wolf Series Book 1) by Shannon Mayer at the request of our Patron Robin. Robin said, "It looks truly abysmal. I can't wait to hear your summary."  Golden is a shifter romance where a wolf is cursed to be a golden retriever and gets wrapped up in the events of Ragnarök (the end of the Norse cycle of renewal) and everything's got a litt...

The Man Without Qualities by Morris Berman was recommended by listener (and author!) O.F. Cieri back in December of 2020. It was recommended to them by a friend who said this book "would change America" and that "we were all going to look at each other differently "- "a new culture would emerge from this book!" Although this book is supposedly intended as satire, it left us wondering how much of i...

Waldo Beyond the Walls: Adventures in the Galaxy by Bill Shook was recommended by an anonymous fan who has been a devoted listener to the podcast for 5 years. Thanks, anonymous friend! We very much appreciate your devotion. Our wonderful anonymous listener here recommended this book because, "It read not like…someone's first pass at writing something...It was so utterly abysmal that it deconstruct...

Chris found this being discussed on various subreddits related to men writing female characters. The book was pulled from Amazon and other platforms shortly after the internet criticism began, but someone managed to save it on an archive.org page. Thanks to them, our minds are now poisoned - and yours can be, too! In addition to our usual barnyard language, this episode includes mentions or discus...

Our Patron Julius the Nice Dragon requested today's book saying,  "I want to nominate..."First Impressions" by SJ Saunders…It's the first of three installments in a rather short trilogy I found floating on audible, but it never found an audience. Several years later it has about five total reviews online! So I think the question [for] this book is - Why did it flop the YA "dystopia" space? Is it t...

Our Patron Lucek requested today's book saying, " Drew Hayes is becoming one of my favorite comedic authors. His NPCs and Fred the Vampire account series are very good. . . but we all have to start somewhere. So, I was hoping you'd read his first published novel, Pears and Perils. " Join us on the island of Kenowai for a Scooby Doo-esque friendship adventure including a cat who is king, a magical...

This week, we were asked to review The Long Moonlight by our Patron Arrant with nary another word. Such mystery - why was this recommended for the show? Why is this moonlight so very löng? Many thanks to Arrant for their longtime patronage of the show! In addition to our usual barnyard language, this episode includes discussion of general fantasy violence/gore.

Our Patron Donnie wrote to us to request Things in Jars saying that neither he nor his wife - nor anyone in their neighborhood book club - was able to finish it, find it enjoyable, or even determine exactly what was happening within the plot. He wanted to know if it was just them or if this book did indeed have a terrible tinge. We were happy to take the case this week and ended up having a lot to...

This time, our Patron Austin requested that we read  Sword Woman by legendary fantasy author Robert E. Howard. We learn that Chris doesn't know how to use a Table of Contents and Paris confesses her fear of reading Howard and potentially inviting the fury of her entire musical subculture. Our thanks go out to Austin for this recommendation because it was (a) not porn and (b) didn't suck!

This week's review of Millenium University  is the product of another of Chris's Amazon Short Reads explorations. Join us this time for some true book sins, like writing out counts for arm stretches, accidentally sentient kitchens, and pacing whiplash!

Tanner's basement book pile produces a new treasure - but at a cost. We just wanted to play with our cats and now we're in another cult. Why does this keep happening to us?  

Listener and friend-of-the-show Charlotte donated Afterlife Love  to the show and one look at the cover was enough to secure it a place on the schedule for 2023. This week, we take a trip back to Arizona in 1999 and then onward to all of the etheric and astral planes! Content Warnings: In addition to our usual barnyard language, this episode includes discussion of: cults, dangerous levels of woo-w...

It's Valentine's Day so we thought, "Why not celebrate with multiple wives?" Friend-of-the-show Tris recommended Tarryn Fisher's The Wives  to us after she read it in 2021 and wondered how the ending could've been quite so bad. We're back from our nearly 3 month winter break and re-entry to our 8th year of terrible books was a painful one. Content Warnings: In addition to our usual barnyard langua...

It's Paris's birthday today so Chris gave her the gift of skipping this episode! Instead, Mary Parker is here with Chris to discuss their experience reading this novelization of the popular 80s Spielberg film. Even though this book is supposed to be based on Melissa Mathison's screenplay, Kotzwinkle really took some wild "I'm-a-dude-in-the-80s" liberties with her story. Content Warnings: aliens, g...

Since the well of terrible Carnacki stories has run dry, the Antiques Freaks are here today with us to read a terrible Sherlock Holmes story! The Adventure of the Creeping Man  is less of an adventure and more about young people being upset that older people have sex. Content Warnings: In addition to our usual barnyard language, this episode includes: mild sexual humor, mention of drugs, and vario...

Happy New Year, listeners! We're starting Season 8 with Pepper's Quest by Felicity Brown at the request of our Patron Dee (that's right, Dee of Antiques Freaks also has Patron rights and boy - do they know how to pick 'em!) These books were created to flesh out the Bella Sara horse toy/video game/trading card universe that you are probably familiar with if you've been to a toy store or near childr...

This time, we read The Labyrinth of Dreaming Books by Walter Moers, translated by John Brownjohn. This was recommended to us by our patron Martin who recommended it because this book made fans of Moers question his actual existence - surely, Moers must be a collective of authors whose best member(s) left or perhaps Moers died! Join us in Bookholm this week for another round of us attempting to sin...

We're back this week with another Patron's Choice episode for Patricia! She asked that we review Delirium  by Lauren Oliver, a book where love is illegal and you have to get a lovebotomy around the age of 18. Thanks for this recommendation, Patricia!

Chris's brother Adam is here (gasp) instead of Paris to review another novel from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. This review comes at the request of our Patron Crimson Paladin, who said, " There's a book in the legends canon called Red Harvest. It's a horror book set in the Star Wars universe that involves a Sith Academy, zombies, a sentient flower, and a wookie. I wouldn't say it's ba...

In this week's Patron's Choice episode, we encounter yet another undead detective skeleton in Skullduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy. This was requested by our patron Of The Void (The Taco-Eating Unicorn). He was hoping that this book would be pleasant (heh) for us, or at least less painful than some of our other fare. Although that may have only been partially true, we still t hank you for your pat...