Teen Creeps

This week Kelly and Katai read WITCH CHILD by Celia Rees, a “found diary” 1600s witch trial story. They talk feeling too distant from the main character, frustrations with the format, oh by the way she’s an actual witch moments, nasty Puritan preachers, and more! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.pat...

This week Kelly and Katai read NIGHTMARE HALL: THE WHISPERER by Diane Hoh, the story of a girl who steals a biology exam and gets whisper blackmailed into pranks. They talk a promising premise, lackluster protagonist, iconic villain, and more! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps...

This week Kelly and Katai read THE CALL by Peadar O’Guilin, a story of Irish teens getting punished by fairies for their ancestors' colonization sins in a Hunger Games style trial for which everyone is chosen. They talk difficult Gaelic pronunciation, bleak times, good characterization, freaky fairies, terrorism vs war, and more! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versio...

This week Kelly and Katai read BUILD YOUR HOUSE AROUND MY BODY by Violet Kupersmith, a story of missing women, ghosts, smoke monsters, and the things that bind them. They talk looooooving the book, intersecting storylines, snakes snakes snakes, terrible Goodreads reviews, and more! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and mo...

This week Kelly and Katai read UNFORGETTABLE by Caroline B. Cooney, an infuriating lie of a mystery about a girl who gets wrapped up in an art heist and "loses" her memory. They talk unforgivable twists, twists that are unforgivable, and a twist ending that they CANNOT FORGIVE. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more:...

This week Kelly and Katai read IN THE FORESTS OF THE NIGHT by Amelia Atwater-Rhodes, the story of a vampire whose past has become her present, except the real story is that this was written by a 13-year-old. They marvel over the sophisticated storytelling, lament their own abilities at this age, get into the weeds of an Amelia Atwater-Rhodes Google search, and more! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PA...

This week Kelly and Katai read a "new" entry in the Point Horror label, 2014's WICKEDPEDIA by Chris Van Etten, the touching story of a boy who accidentally gets his classmates killed through Wikipedia wordplay. They talk being pleasantly surprised, gruesome deaths, confuse their Chris Van Ettens, and more! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonu...

This week Kelly and Katai were joined by Jordan Morris ( Jordan Jesse Go!, Bubble ) in reading NIGHTMARE INN: THE ATTIC by T.S. Rue, the story of four friends who hate each other and get gobbled up by a giant spider. They talk hot bellboys, incel bellboys, caribou romance, being the Allie, rooting for the spider, and more! Pre-order Jordan's graphic novel YOUTH GROUP now! https://us.macmillan.com/...

This week Kelly and Katai read FROM THE MIXED-UP FILES OF MRS. BASIL E. FRANKWEILER by E.L. Konigsburg, the 1968 children's classic about two awesome kids who run away and live in the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York. They talk loving the writing and the kids, generally praise the book, and then accidentally devolve into a long conversation about the depressing and toxic state of the world a...

This week Kelly and Katai read BLOOD AND CHOCOLATE by Annette Curtis Klause, the touching story of a werewolf girl who falls in love with a poseur chicken bitch human boy. They talk hating Aiden, liking Vivian, sexy werewolf times, the Age of Bingo, werewolf mating norms, and more! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and mo...

This week Kelly and Katai read FEAR STREET: THE FACE by R.L. Stine, the touching story of a girl with amnesia who can't stop drawing a dead dude. They talk Truman Show therapy, the urban legend of coincidences between Lincoln and Kennedy, cool elements and bad execution, and Kelly reaches her breaking point with Twitter. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our...

This week Kelly and Katai read ROYAL DIARIES: CLEOPATRA VII, DAUGHTER OF THE NILE by Kristina Gregory, the touching story of Cleopatra when she was apparently at her most boring. They talk never choosing a Pilgrim-ass bitch, getting turned around which Ptolemy is which, Marc Antony being a perv, being pro-Christ pre-Christ, and more! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video ve...

This week Kelly and Katai read WHAT HOLLY HEARD by R.L. Stine, the touching story of a school gossip who gets killed for something totally unrelated to her gossiping. They talk hating your friends, sentimental hammers, wild hamsters, eclipses aka little C's, how to recognize one another's clones, and more! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonu...

This week Kelly and Katai read THE BAD SEED by William March, the touching story of a homicidal sociopath who happens to be a nine-year-old girl with Heidi braids. They talk distant narrators, creepy girls, Christine taking forever to decide shit, hating Leroy, and more! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more: https:/...

This week Kelly and Katai read THE SILVER KISS by Annette Curtis Klause, the actually touching story of a girl who falls in love with a beautiful vampire boy while losing her mom to cancer. They talk loving the book, Simon's dorky first person narrative, giving teen problems their due, cry about a cat, and more! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes...

This week Kelly and Katai are joined by Sweet Valley High Correspondent and America's Sweetheart, Ryan Mogge, to talk SWEET VALLEY HIGH #110: DEATH THREAT by Kate William. They talk A+ side plots, Jessica being a waste of Wakefield DNA, lack of ghostwriter communication, Jeremy being a creeper, failed Bruce as Porsche AI, Todd's Hitler 'stache, and more! Thank you to https://sixteenandperfectforev...

This week Kelly and Katai are joined by Teen Creeps Lo Dunc Correspondent and the handsomest Lo Dunc boy, Patrick Ehlers ( Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Sourcebook, Nintendo Cartridge Society ) to discuss maybe the all-time worst entry in the Lo Dunc Verse, DON'T LOOK BEHIND YOU, the story of the stupidest little idiot ever to enter into witness protection. They talk Lois Duncan writing her biases,...

This week Kelly and Katai read THE VAMPIRE DIARIES #1: THE AWAKENING by L.J. Smith, the story of two vampire brothers and the human girl who definitely only loves one of them. They talk missing Night World, Katherine's psychotic thruple or die ultimatum, how vampires need to stop enrolling in high school, debate a Dear Prudence letter that it turns out Katai largely misremembered, and do their ver...

This week Kelly and Katai read surprise gem WHEN NO ONE WAS LOOKING by Rosemary Wells, the story of a rising teen tennis star who questions everything when a rival drowns. They talk being happy with your hobby, toxic sports parents, classism, embodying white noise, and how Oliver English needs to get his own fucking life. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of ou...

This week Kelly and Katai read the middle grade classic WAIT TILL HELEN COMES by Mary Downing Hahn. They talk hating Heather even now, Dave being the absolute fucking worst, feeling for Helen, classic covers, and did they mention Dave fucking sucks? SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teenc...

This week Kelly and Katai read SATI by Christopher Pike, the story of a blonde white woman who claims to be God and makes really good shortbread cookies. They talk meditation, the Love Has Won cult, God's terrible bedside manner, loving a small story, and reveal how little they know about the Dalai Lama. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonus...

Happy Valentine’s Day! This week Kelly and Katai welcome back Teen Creeps Film Correspondent/ray of light Oscar Montoya (Minx, Eurovangelists) to discuss 1981’s “My Bloody Valentine.” They talk loving Hollis, the travesty of 3D, juicy jeaned men, the joys of being a miner, who deserves a musical comeback, and Katai has not one but two mom-brain moments. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get...

Kelly and Katai welcome back Teen Creeps All-Star Nick Wiger (Doughboys, Get Played) to talk about “Almost Lost: The True Story of An Anonymous Teenager's Life on the Streets,” another supposed Beatrice Sparks PhD “true story” that has them at their wits’ end. They talk unbelievable teen speak, irresponsible library cataloging, gangsta rap Satanism, Wooly Willy vs. Jesus, “therapy” that reads like...

This week Kelly and Katai read "Nightmare Hall: Book of Horrors" by Diane Hoh, the story of a girl who gets a job with her favorite author and homicidal son. They talk hating your friends, Reed being basic af, getting attacked by birds, loving the villain's end speech, and more! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more:...

This week Kelly and Katai read "The Bearwood Witch" by Susan Price, the story of a girl, a witch, and the born again dweeb trying to save them both. They talk prideful witches, delightfully gross scenes, identity, and whether or not the universe has a moral arc. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patr...