Tea Time with Elsa

Chatting about: A Question Worth Asking… In this episode, we talk about how Relationships are made up of questions and answers. Sometimes, it can feel like life is just a series of problems to be solved, but when our patterns of stress come down to a reasonable level, those "problems" become simply questions worth answering. If we organize our questions to our horses in a way that focuses on thing...

Chatting about: How Horses Ask For Connection… In this episode, we talk about how connection is made up of a series of actions showing how well a partner is known and understood. Horses ask for connection (ask to be known and understood better) by breaking harmony, either through push or pull. As humans we can choose to see that push or pull for the ask it is or we can punish the request for conne...

Chatting about: Ripples of Response... In this episode, we talk about how to see the ripples of response within a herd of horses and how we can become part of these ripples. When a horse changes focus from one thing to another, their herd instinct wants someone else to notice also. If there is no response, there may be an escalation in stress and more obvious push or pull behaviors. When stress go...

Chatting about: Attention Replaces Pressure… In this episode, we talk about a horse's need to be recognized as an individual can be used quite practically to replace needs for pressure in the relationship. While we will always use pressure to navigate safety situations, there are many many interactions with horses that do not have a safety component. When we find ways to physically show them we un...

Chatting about: Interested in What Is, More Than What You Want… In this episode we talk about stress. What is too much stress, what is not enough stress and how being aware of what is currently being experienced may be more important for a time than trying to change it. Originally aired on: November 14th, 2024

Chatting about: Mental Learning Versus Emotional Learning…… In this episode, we talk about how mental learning and emotional learning are different in horse training. Many people are familiar with mental training which is puzzle solving or figuring out how to do one thing to get another thing. Emotional training is more important when it comes to regulation of the nervous system and developing str...

Chatting about: Building New Habits and Replacing Old Ones…… In this episode, we talk about how new habits become strong (or old habits become replaced) through the use of the nervous system and the resulting memories that become established. The vital key to this is the understanding of repetitions of experience and knowing when to play with another repetition, do something different, or take a r...

Chatting about: When to walk towards, when to walk away… In this episode we talk about some basic nuts and bolts of the physical relationship between horse and human and how the timing of these actions (walking towards or walking away) will make your horse feel more or less understood. Most training methods involve walking toward or walking away so the horse understands human desires. Working in f...

Chatting about: Why Persist?… In this episode we talk about the different ways we might share time and training with our horses. Persisting is an idea that is often difficult for students to understand and can be extremely beneficial when done well. A step up from Assertive leadership where everything you ask for is easy, and a step down from Dominant leadership where there is some need to control...

Chatting about: Challenges… In this episode we talk about what a challenge is and why it is useful in your relationship with your horse. When we work with horses in freedom it becomes very clear when there is too much push or pull in the relationship and these moments of push or pull is what I categorize as a challenge. Being sensitive and proactive about practicing challenges in manageable ways b...

Chatting about: Supporting vs Affirming… In this episode we talk about the two different ways I interact with horses to encourage them to use their brain and sensory system. Supporting is generally going to refer to the actions we take around the horse that they cannot ignore, helping them use their senses better. Affirming is generally going to refer to the simple pauses we can take when accident...

Chatting about: Which is better, intrinsic or extrinsic motivation? In this episode we talk about the differences between extrinsic and intrinsic motivation; Where they touch on a spectrum and what the benefits might be of leaning more towards one or the other. Freedom Based Training® leans toward intrinsic motivation, but there are some things we do that range up the scale toward extrinsic motiva...

Chatting about: Letting Things Be As They Are… In this episode we talk about our human desire to always be pushing for growth or change in our horses. When might it be appropriate to let them be as they are without trying to change them? Originally aired on: September 18th, 2024

Chatting about: Who Can Teach Freedom Based Training®?  In this episode we talk about what Freedom Based Training® means and while it is trademarked by me, it is coming up in conversations between more and more trainers around the world. This is a beautiful thing. In reality only the horses can teach us Freedom Based Training®, but I will encourage humans to talk about it and share ideas about it,...

Chatting about: The Beauty in The Boring… In this episode we talk about how the greatest power in training exists within the beauty of the boring moments. Specifically when it comes to herd integration and bonding. Every problem you ever have with a horse comes from a hyper-focus on a problem. If the horse can develop habits of changing focus out of hyper-focus, this solves problems before they oc...

Chatting about: Developing a Bond… In this episode we talk about what it looks like to develop a bond with a horse. Ari and I have been through a few challenges this week in our bond and this has helped me think about the parts of the puzzle that may need some attention in our relationship. Originally aired on: August 27th, 2024

Chatting about: Action or Pressure… In this episode we talk about the spectrum between Action and Pressure. I believe we can replace pressure with action if we have enough time to take training slowly. If we want horses to develop more quickly we can choose what type of pressure might provide the best contrast for training. Originally aired on: August 20th, 2024

Chatting about: Stepping in Someone Else’s Footsteps… In this episode we talk about my adventures in Mongolia and Iceland and my take away learning points from my travels. Each year I take some time to step outside of my normal life patterns into someone else’s perspective. This generally leaves me more grateful than ever for the life I get to come home to.  Originally aired on: August 13th, 2024

Chatting about: The Illusion of Control… In this episode we talk about understanding control. “Stress is no more and no less than the inability to control and shape the forces that shape our lives” Teaching horses to control their own senses (where they look ,listen ,feel ,smell and taste) gives them a stress regulation system that they can always count on. Originally aired on: June 18th, 2024

Chatting about: The Wisdom of Timing… In this episode we talk about time and timing. Do you have the time to break each skill down to the smallest step, allowing horses to process the learning of a skill a little at a time? Or do you choose the right tool for teaching so the horse can be held in a situation long enough to adapt to their new skill faster? This is a choice worth considering. I prefe...

Chatting about: Learning With The Horse Versus Teaching The Horse… In this episode we talk about the difference between teaching horses skills and learning with your horse to be a better partner for them.  Originally aired on: June 4th, 2024

Chatting about: “Relax and Trust Me”, or Not?  In this episode we talk about two different methods of training: 1. Where we teach the horse to relax and trust the human and do what they are told without question. 2. Where we teach the horse to better use their own sensory system to gather sufficient information to feel safe and make their own good decisions. I prefer and teach the second option. I...

Chatting about: Walking the Walk, Talking the Talk... In this episode we talk about how we really only learn deeply when we practice the theories we talk about. Practicing our theories of relationship in all moods and all circumstance, doing the best we can, proves to our horse that we can show up and be a good partner adaptable to the reality of life, day by day. Originally aired on: May 21st, 20...

Chatting about: The Gift Of Connection… In this episode we talk about Connection. Thinking about Connection as a two-way street where we can show them how connected we are to them, without expecting them to give it back to us. When we sufficiently give connection the horse will naturally want to give it back. I believe the connection is so much stronger  when we give unconditionally and allow the...

Chatting about: The Process of Relationship… In this episode we talk about goals. Either the horse has goals for the relationship, or the human has goals for the relationship. Working toward those goals is the process of relationship. If there are no goals you will find horse or human or both will become bored and then start focusing on problems that are too big and problematic. Finding the right...