TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Luke gets into it with the people sitting next to him at Opening Night, but Becca has his back, plus David From the Basement stops by to explain why Stephen Colbert is writing the next Lord of the Rings film.

Luke and Andrew dive into some listener voicemails, including one involving an angry Russian widow and another that leaves Andrew bumfuzzled. 

Luke has a big issue with an office place tradition. Andrew turns to his enemy, AI, to see if it has any solutions. They also discuss the now-solved mystery of the British man who turned blue overnight. 

Luke had a bad experience with a can of Coke yesterday and now wants a moratorium on new soda flavors. Plus, an anonymous listener provides the definitive "How bad do you have to poop?' scale. 

With Andrew out of town, Luke is joined by TBTL Employee Numero Uno, Jon Sklaroff. Jon provides an update on life with a new puppy and the two discuss why the NBA is actually good and Seattle should be excited to see the Sonics come back. And Luke details a foolproof plan to get the goods at Blockbuster.

Luke and Andrew are feeling giddy on the first day of Spring! Luke is breaking out a fresh Sponge Mommy for the occasion, and Andrew is preparing for a real Shandy Summer. They also get the fascinating background of the famous "Did You Ever Have A Dream" viral video. 

Luke and Andrew discuss AfroMan's recent court victory against the cops who were suing him for defamation. It's a complicated win. Luke also reveals his skill for knowing whether or not a fast food restaurant sells Coke or Pepsi products.

An article about Doodles peaked Luke's attention AND taught him his new favorite word. Plus, Coach Ben unveils the lineup for the new season of TBTL Junior Sluggers baseball! 

Luke introduces Andrew to the newest, hottest St. Patrick's day ritual, which involves milk jugs filled with green booze. Plus, Andrew is trying to figure out what to do after a cyclone caused massive damage to the Hawaiian town he's planning on visiting next week.  Photo via " Chicago Bars ".

Luke's mom, Susie, joins the show to talk cybersecurity, old Kingdome food vendors, and what happens when you "take your tongue on a sleigh ride." Plus, Luke saw a "hyprov" show this weekend, which combines hypnosis and Improv. And he and Andrew discuss Matthew Berry's appearance with Conan O'Brien at the Oscars last night.

Luke says he wants to start golfing more this summer, which of course leads to a long conversation about all of Andrew's childhood vehicles -- including a personal golf cart. They also discuss the snow that's falling in Seattle on a very special Friday The 13th. 

Luke honed his DJ skills at an art show yesterday, while Andrew was at home making the worst meal of his life. Luke's also been very much enjoying the new Stephen Conrad show, DTF: St. Louis.

Luke's favorite ambient noise may be giving him bad dreams. But the really weird thing is that Andrew's been having the SAME bad dreams. Also, a hump-inflating scandal is rattling the world of camel pageants, and the story of two  baseball players not shaking hands has led to more drama than expected. And Andrew, with the help of an eagle-eyed listener, is celebrating a very special anniversary to...

Luke had a scary moment this morning while trying to clean his water bottles, but he caught it all on tape. Andrew learns that his once-nemesis is a huge  deal on Bluesky. And they discuss the World Baseball Classic and why Andrew is rooting for Team Mexico. 

Luke spent the weekend trying to escape O'Hare airport, while Andrew spent the weekend trying to escape from an evil magician's dressing room. Plus, Luke is mad at A.I. for lying on his behalf, and an overseas listener takes us on an audio journey. 

Genevieve joins the show to discuss her court plans after she learns she was ticketed during Operation Bus Chase. She also explains why she's so angry about her astrological sign, even though she doesn't believe in that stuff. Meanwhile, Luke is vibing off of Detlef Schrempf's Instagram feed, and Andrew learns he might be Baz To The Bone. 

Luke had an emotional and educational experience at the Chicago Art Museum this morning. Andrew is disappointed that his perfectly calculated Bluesky post isn't going viral. And the Tens of Listeners are bringing sexy back to the Blursdays segment. 

Andrew is concerned about some pickles that he bought, so he does a taste-test on the air. Speaking of taste tests, he and Luke also dissect the viral video of McDonalds' CEO trying to eat a burger like a normal person. They also discuss going to the bathroom on airplanes and things the bible taught them about wine.

Andrew saw something completely bonkers in a 1991 episode of Columbo, and he's trying to get to the bottom of it. Luke finds himself placing sports bets on the definitely-not-sports-betting app Kalshi. Luke and Andrew also have important updates on their respective traffic court appeals. 

Luke and Andrew have some ideas on how to fix the internet. And newspapers. They also share the personal videos that they made for each other regarding Luke's newish Roku. And Luke is about to fight city hall over a parking ticket, and he can't wait. 

Luke's attempts to get to the bottom of Andrew's citrus addiction leads to a bigger mystery about India's third-biggest newspaper. Plus, Luke makes plans to visit steamboat museums and chimney sweep museums during his stay in Missouri. And a listener from New Orleans calls in with an epic tale of line-cutting. 

In a desperate attempt to attract younger listeners, Luke and Andrew discuss Reader's Digest, Beetle Bailey, and Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C. at great length. Plus, Luke got kicked out of ANOTHER private event during his stay in Kansas City. And Andrew marches ever closer to adopting a dog.  

Andrew's cat is causing trouble. Luke is sick of everything being lemon flavored. Punch the Monkey is finally making friends in Japan. Mina Kimes might listen to McMillan Men (but probably won't.) And Luke and Andrew make plans for their eventual appearance on The Newlywed Game. 

Luke has a run-in with A.I. at work, and he doesn't like it. He and Andrew also discuss the phenomenal story of American gold medal figure skater Alysa Liu. And a listener takes a food related risk that nobody asked for. 

Luke had a moment that was a little embarrassing and a little gross during his jog this weekend. Andrew had another adventurous Sunday in his neighborhood. They also discuss that time Buzz Aldrin punched a guy.