Talking Like A Teen

I had like three really grandiose plans for this write up that I banged my head against for awhile before giving up and well…here we are, another one of these stream of consciousness write ups again because none of those really panned out. So, essentially, on this episode of Talking Like A Teen, we tasked ourselves with building Halloween inspired playlists that we exchanged. We analyzed them, we...

[To the tune of “Belle” from Disney’s Beauty And The Beast] Little town, a spooky French village Every day like the one before Little town, full of little monsters Waking up to say Boo-jour! Boo-jour! Boo-jour! Boo-jour! Boo-jour! There goes the vampire with his tray like always The same old bloody treats to sell Every morning just the same Since the morning that we came To this grim, spine-chilli...

(ALERT: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE MASS EFFECT FRANCHISE.) I spent the afternoon at my friends’ kid’s birthday party and spent most of my time trying to think of what to do for this write up while no one talked to me (probably because I was staring off into space thinking about this write up. I’m sure that’s not welcoming.) The obvious “rewrite ‘Midnight Train to Georgia’ about Mass Ef...

(DISCLAIMER: This is not an endorsement of an actual currency, crypto or otherwise. In fact, quite the opposite, as money is stupid and only real because we as a society pretend it has value. The following, at its core, is me taking a joke made on this episode too far, as per usual. This is the second half of the Minivan Rock episode. Link to the list is below. Enjoy the madness.)  [To the tune of...

Who has no eyes, nose or mouth? Who wears Vans when they lumber about? They do, They do! Who stands six Nerf Blasters Tall? Who manifested Gritty’s downfall? They do, They do! Who unleashes play in you? Who shoots darts from their sea-doo ? They do, They do! Who wants you to touch some grass? Who wields a gun with maximum sass? They do, They do!

On this episode of Talking Like A Teen, unlike previous ones, this one is about…nothing. Like a Seinfield episode, I guess? Only with less New York references. If you ever wondered what a casual non-podcast conversation between the two of us sounds like, here it is, in its mildly edited glory. It’s two elder millennials having a couple of adult beverages, decompressing from the bowels of living in...

Katherine and Tanya, ooh, I wanna take ya There’s Adam and Tommy, Rocky’s got head trauma Kimberly and Jason (Baby Justin please stay home) In the next dimension There's a place with Maligor That's where you wanna go to get away from it all Dead bodies in the sand, spewing lava melting off your hand We'll be running away from the possessed drum band Down with Maligor Katherine and Tanya, ooh, I wa...

Network Executive: “We at the network want a Power Rangers movie with attitude. It’s edgy. It’s in your face. You've heard the expression "Shift Into Turbo." Well, this is a movie that gets "Tur-Booo." Consistently and thoroughly. Oh, God, yes. We're talking about a totally outrageously creepy puppet. We’re talking about vehicles with the power and velocity of turbo technology.” Writer: “Excuse me...

People can smell it a mile away. It’s real. Garlic. Molasses. Onions. Spices. You can come to a million of his barbecues and you’ll never see him mess with no dressed-up ketchup. No. Way. He needs the REAL stuff. So come on over to Bilkins’ house for some KC Masterpiece. Anything else just isn’t barbecue fit for your family. On this episode of Talking like a Teen, Adrian and Ashley take a break fr...

Sometimes podcasting is recording something two years ago, technology ruining it, and then you forget to re-record it until you schedule a time to record with your podcast partner two years later, and neither of you really prepped to talk about your original topic, so you flail around until one of you stumbles upon a google document from the past. So the timeline makes about as much sense as the F...

On this episode of Talking Like A Teen, Adrian blindsided Ashley with our topic for the evening: Weezer. They go through Weezer’s discography and history, while also trying to navigate Rivers Cuomo’s progression from Indie Rock Darling to Karaoke Bar Annoyance. While trying to make their way on this weird road trip, they find their way to some weird tourist traps like World’s Biggest Snake on a Pl...

On this episode of Talking Like A Teen, Ashley & Adrian tackle yet another set of year-end playlists. We discuss that despite the world being a metaphorical dumpster on fire, new releases this year were numerous and great. We go through our favorite hipster nonsense, rock gods, music TikTok tried to ruin, hip-hop, video game jams, and Garbage

On this episode of Talking Like A Teen, Ashley and Adrian celebrate the release of Lil Nas X’s debut album Montero. They discuss some of the initial reactions and favorites, as well as The Dreaded Discourse around a talented musician trying to have fun while putting themselves through the dregs of self promotion. (Not that we’re biased on our opinions or anything.) Theyalso dip their toes into gam...

On this episode of Talking Like A Teen, Ashley & Adrian have stone-facedly lumbered from the Non-Podcasting Swamp, carrying our oil lamps and walking verrrrrrrrry slowly as we do our best Bray Wyatt impressions. (The video’s below, it’ll make sense, I promise.) We each sit down in our rocking chairs and then the stage lights come up and we begin to discuss the soundtrack for Scream 2 (1997), becau...

This week we low-key introduced our mini-episode series entitled Conversing With An Adult. Ashley takes a brief moment to give listeners a heads up with what we've been up to plus get a little real about burnout and content creation. Thank you for sticking with us. It means more than you'll ever know.

“Communicator Bling” You always call me on my wrist watch After school when you need my help Call me on my wrist watch Weekends when you need my help And I know when that wrist watch sing That can only mean one thing I know when that wrist watch sing That can only mean one thing Ever since I started high school, you Got a reputation for yourself now Friends having fun and I feel left out Zordon ig...

Centuries ago, a legendary interdemensional being known as ZORDON came to the city of Angel Grove to establish a recording studio for his never-ending struggle against boring programming. With the aid of his trusted assistant, ALPHA 5, the noble master sought out two extraordinary 30-somethings and gave them the power to transform into a superhuman fighting force. In time of great need, the young...

Adrian here. Despite the episode title, neither Ashley or I are in a great mood. It happens. WhatCulture insisted that they had a list of Top 10 songs proven to make us happy. Possible spoiler: It may have had the total opposite effect. Mistakes were made. However, you get the added bonus of laughing at our pain as we attempt answer some of music's most baffling questions: Why was the singer of Ne...

So, I’m going to see if Adrian can embed this meme from 2018 that we reference approximately 38 times in this episode, just for context. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Lb-A756On8) At any rate--back to business. We are wrapping up our desert island video game series before we get the hell off this island. (I’m very tired of mangos, y’all. I need a burger.) We talk some Sega and Nintendo games, d...

Adrian here. Yeah, I know I don't usually do the write-ups. But don't leave! I swear this will be fun! Long story short, Ashley and I ended up on a deserted island. Boat sprung a leak. Kinda my fault. Don't worry about that. We're stuck here, but luckily our crates filled with our podcast equipment and favorite videogame consoles washed ashore. We probably should've packed more food/water, though....

So...I was going to write an episode description about this Dad Rock compilation that we discuss in this episode, but I made the mistake of going to Youtube to watch the Batman Forever version of the “Kiss From a Rose'' video, and...I can’t string words together any more. My brain has been vaporized by that green...tv box...thing from that movie. I have so much conflict inside of me. This episode...

PREVIOUSLY ON X-MEN! Um. I mean….Previously on Talking Like A Teen, Adrian and Ashley wrap up their 2020 playlists. They discuss Adrian’s 2020 playlist, diving deep into how anxiety-inducing music is good maybe, (because you need a soundtrack to destroy robots that are chasing you around a mall sometimes while rescuing a teenage girl), music that inspires you to do crime is always good (like tryin...

On this episode of Talking Like a Teen, the Senior VP of Sustenance Delivered Via Miniaturized Foodstuffs (Security Codename: BagelBites) and the UN High Commission of Simulated Combustion and Rounded Playthings (Security Codename: Crossfire) take a break from overseeing the world’s most important things to talk about the music of 2020. They discuss, among other things, the HBO/HAIM crossover you...

On this episode of Talking Like a Teen, Adrian and Ashley sidestep another weird ASMR podcast idea to finish talking about @ChillWaveKittens Old School Alternative bracket. They discuss another face on the Mount Rushmore of Problematic Faves Morrissey, the #girlboss narrative around Bjork, and the cautionary tale of Elliott Smith. Wait, I know that sounds serious--come back. Here’s your blankie an...

On this episode of Talking Like a Teen, Adrian and Ashley find themselves trapped inside a nightmare of bad hockey and indie rock greats as they tackle another @ChillWaveKittens music bracket. They barely manage to wipe the sleep from their eyes before immediately starting a war with Nick Cave fans, K-Pop Twitter, and offending both sides of the Blur/Oasis Brit-Pop Battle of 1995. They try to get...