Tales From A Cult Insider

Given how sort of all over the place the history of the cult is being told in this podcast, I thought it might be useful to really hone the thing's evolution down into a simple explanation of facts, with my own perspective on some of the popular myths about the cult. For example, was it a Satanist cult? Answer in the podcast (spoiler: no).  Also, even in major trauma or very harsh conditions, the...

If you're a long time listener (first time caller :-) ), you know I've written my memoir. I'm revising it now preparatory to sending it to agents. I wanted to share chapter 22 with you, in which I sum up the cult's evolution, and mine as well. It's also a chapter in which I give the cult's founders a much needed message. This chapter was incredibly healing for me to write. I hope you enjoy it.  Re...

It's episode 31 and I'm talking all about being robbed. I also share some interesting experiences I had with old cult cronies over the last weekend and I answer a listener's excellent question about holidays.  The being robbed thing was ongoing, really. But this episode is also about the actual thing when our home was burgled. Crazy, right?  As always, thanks for tuning in. Remember to r...

This title will become self-explanatory, but spoiler: this episode will especially please theater geeks. Stage acting and everything associated with it blessed my life and changed it fundamentally. My baby face might have gotten me roles, but my roles helped me find a voice.  I tell the stories of my very first ever part in a play, along with my very first solo act, and sort of getting paid t...

Being sick in the Foundation Faith of God was not fun. Especially when it was an ongoing anxiety about sleeping. I mean, think about it. Who do you tell when you haven't slept well? Your spouse? Your parent? Your coworker or siblings?  I didn't have any of that. We were all just trying to make it through, man.  So enjoy the stories about ailments in the Foundation. Cringe at your leisure...

You'd think that a cult would have a single, controlling doctrine that informed every moment and every action in the lives of its adherents, wouldn't you? Something like this world is an illusion, so everything we do is an attempt to break the illusion. Or our existence is a simulation. Or animals are the actual gods.  Or something else.  But the Foundation Faith of God didn't really, in...

Part of my growing up in a cult has actually been the growing up I've done outside of the cult. This is a story about good, friendly, generous people helping me find my feet, find my voice a little, and also start finding myself. Because when I got out of that cult, I was in a thick, shy shell. But that wasn't my end form, friends. That was me in embryo, and this story is the story of me breaking...

Let's get into some of the intricacies of the day-to-day of cult/commune living. In this episode, I share some of the bizarre, sometimes alienating double standards propagated by the Foundation and its members. Things to do with sex, the terrible outside world, and more. Tune in and remember to leave a review!

I'm usually down with just telling my stories and being as chill as possible. But several things combined to make this episode necessary. And talking about being essentially erased over and over again by the people who 'raised' me was necessary- because voices will be heard. I will be heard. There appears to be a little anger left in the basement, which I'd like to excise, so this episode was even...

For the final episode of Season 1, a lengthy story about a major crush I had. Yes, a crush. On a Scottish girl. The years that I carried this torch became incredibly formative for me and I'm grateful for all I learned and all I did to improve myself.  The last little bit of the episode is a reflection on a moment I had tonight with one of my kids and the juxtaposition of that moment with my l...

It's part two of the short series about my mother. Our relationship, as I tried to describe in the last episode, was odd at best. We ate Chinese food sometimes. We both read horror novels. We spoke sometimes. But when I shared my honest feelings, it made her angry, so I learned to not do that. She had a life full of what was important to her and surprised me by a late-in-life emergence as a busine...

Now for two episodes about my mother. There's a lot of me doing my level best to get across the experience/relationship I had with my mother- which wasn't all bad, but was not what most people would understand. So listen and you'll probably get a new appreciation for your own parents ( I really hope so at least) and you will also find out that this world is full of so many variations and relations...

I love water today. I was scared of it when I was younger. Here's where I tell you why and take the opportunity to share some specific stories about how we commune kids spent our days. The YWCA in Dallas features prominently, as does weird, ritualistic baptism.  Remember to review! 

"I'm an equal-opportunity weirdo." Ah, the joys of an unscripted podcast. In this milestone 20th episode, I share lots of details about the school I spent seven years attending. The one created by the cult because of... reasons I can only really speculate about. In many ways, it was awesome. In a few ways, it was meh. It was basically home school, but with less home.  Don't forget to review,...

This is a slightly longer episode, as the subject matter merits a bit more time. Plus, I had a question submitted that deserved a good answer. This episode is where I share one of the most important events of my childhood and, frankly, how I screwed it up. It's related to my oldest brother's death and how I really made a mess of my own reaction at the time in a way that actually caused trauma...

Mass hysteria! Okay, it wasn't exactly mass hysteria, but being raised by people whose primary focus and goal in life were to rescue animals meant that I was surrounded by furry critters all the time. It wasn't always great. It wasn't always terrible. Listen to learn who the greatest cat ever was. 

It's a long, long description for an episode about the colorful, sometimes terrible and cruel, and sometimes just bizarre punishments that we received in the cult. I quote Ursula from The Little Mermaid because that's always a good idea.  Remember to review and share! 

The final part of the three-part series on the problem of my temper and the temper of others. I knew my temper was causing problems. I knew I wanted to change that and do better. BE better. Here's the story of how I found healing, strength, and progress in my goal to overcome my temper.  Remember to review and share! 

Last time we talked about my big problem: a temper. However, we talked a lot more about someone else's temper than mine and what happened to me when he lost it. In this episode, we talk about how my temper was terrible and one day I lost it badly - and how that was a turning point for me.  Remember to review and share! It makes all the difference to a small podcast like mine. 

Today we get personal. Actually, today and next week, and possibly the following week. This is a multi-episode story about my temper problem. I'm not just talking about my own temper either. Listen in and remember to tell your friends to check out my podcast. I'd love it if you would support the podcast by clicking on the link! 

So glad you're back for more!  Here I talk about what many of us cult kids talked a lot about: parents. We were raised as if parents were not needed, although that experience varied due to prestige of one's actual parents. Many of us were lied to about at least one parent. Why? Good question. A few anecdotes and some speculation await you in this episode.  Please consider sharing and rev...

Hey Cult Insider! Was the cult all bad? No, friends, it was not. I gained a lot from growing up the way I did. Let's talk about bikes, cars, cockroaches, and woodwork.  But mostly cockroaches.  Remember! Please share and review. You can help me turn my podcasting into a speaking career! 

I promise this episode isn't gross. You'll laugh, not cringe. I answer some questions about smells and other cults, then I tell the story of scooping large amounts of dog poop and how that was actually a good thing. You'll have to listen if you want to find out how much dog crap I scooped in my lifetime. Please remember to share and review so more people can hear about dog poo! 

The Process/Foundation/Best Friends bought a giant ranch just north of Kanab, Utah. There was much work to be done and who better to do a large part of it than a bunch of young, sort of fit youths who couldn't say no? Here's where I tell some of those stories, answer some questions, and get a bit emotional.