Supermom is Getting Tired

Episode 98: Why do I sabotage myself? Dear Torie,  I have this evening routine that really works for me. Once the kids are down for the night, I put music on while I tidy up the kitchen. Then, I light a candle, do some relaxing yoga, meditate and then read until I fall asleep. When I do it, I feel amazing. It is good for my mind, body and soul. I feel rested, relaxed and proud that I prioritized m...

Episode #97 - "No one appreciates all the work I do." Question of the Day: Dear Torie  “No one appreciates all the work I do. I am so sick of giving, giving, giving and not getting any help or recognition in return. I have 3 capable kids and a competent husband and yet they still expect me to do everything for them. It makes me want to take off and let them fend for themselves for a week or two. W...

Episode 96 - My middle schooler identifies as tri-gender. Question of the Day: Dear Torie "I’m wondering if you know of resources (books, podcasts, sites, etc) about gender identity? My middle schooler revealed last week that she identifies as trigender... which I hadn’t even heard of! She explains it as not connecting with any one gender - female, male or non—binary. Yesterday she said that she’d...

Episode #95 - Helping Your Teen with Social Anxiety Question of the Day: “I’m worried about my daughter. She is 14, a freshman in high school, and socially seems to be withdrawing more and more. Her grades are fine, but she chose to continue online learning instead of returning to school and this concerns me. She spends most of the day in her room. I try to get her to walk the dog with me, go shop...

Episode #94  is everything I wish I had known before I became a mom. I was happy. I loved my kids and being a mom. But the anxiety, fatigue, irritability and chronic pain told me there was more going on beneath the surface that needed my attention. As I learned more about life coaching and how powerful the mind is, I also learned I was carrying around a pissy little inner perfectionist that was co...

Episode 93 - How to set boundaries and follow through with consequences? Dear Torie, "I have three girls 15, 13 and 11. I keep going around and around with consequences because I feel like they’re repeating actions that are not appropriate and are infuriating the family and disrupting our family unit.  I’ve always used natural consequences but as they’re getting older those only apply sometimes. M...

Episode 92: Question of the Day: “No matter how many times I take away his phone, remove apps, or punish him, he keeps finding ways to access porn. I thought I blocked his ability to download apps and I’m constantly monitoring him when he’s online, but no matter how vigilant I think I’m being, I can’t seem to stop his obsession with porn. The other night, I heard him talking to a girl and he was b...

Not coping well with online school Question of the Day:  “Yesterday our superintendent said the re-opening plan for January isn’t going to happen, I’m just feeling sick this morning. Private schools have been on a hybrid model for months. At this point there are no more acceptable excuses. This is horrible for our kids.  A few months back in march when nobody knew what we were dealing with, a nati...

Torie,  I'd love to have a monthly house cleaner. I'm just not all that good at keeping the house clean. I mean, I can keep it tidy and I try to stay on top of the house cleaning to-do list, but it never really looks all that clean. At least not all at once. I never finish the job, and I just don't enjoy it. But it seems too indulgent for several reasons.  The reason I always use is: "It costs too...

2020 has been...well.....interesting...and A LOT was of the burden was dumped on MOMS! It has taught us that anything can change on a dime and we are more adaptable than we thought. Let's make sure we use these lessons to make 2021 the best year yet. If it feels like your family, COVID, schools and work have more say over your calendar than you do, it's time to take charge. If you are tired of fee...

Why am I doing all the work? Dear Torie, Why am I doing all the work? I know I do too much for my family but December is pushing me past my breaking point. I am so overwhelmed trying to shop, clean, finish up my work projects, help kids with school projects, and make the holidays special for my family. I know I should require more of my kids and my husband. He SAYS he is willing to help but I hate...

Question of the Day: Dear Torie,  “My oldest son just confided in me that he has been using marijuana to cope with COVID anxiety, the stress of online school and the sadness of missing so many things. How do I respond? Is he telling me because he’s concerned? Does he want me to set boundaries? I’m not sure what to say to him, can you help?”  To help me answer this question is my best friend and yo...

Episode 86 - Should I push my child to play at a higher level? Question of the Day: Should I push my child to do something uncomfortable if I think it will be good for her?  “My daughter is one of the best athletes on her team. She is good enough to try out for the more competitive traveling team, but she’s afraid of the commitment and the travel.  Believe it or not, she would rather be the best p...

Last week, in episode #84, I answered a question from a mom, Elana, whose daughter had outgrown a friendship and wanted to move on. The problem Elana was dealing with was pressure from the other girl's mom, who was desperate for help in maintaining their daughters' friendship. Elana wanted to be nice and do the right thing, but also wanted to support her daughter being able to choose who she wante...

Episode #84  Daughter’s friendship drama Question of the Day: Hi, how do I navigate my daughters friendship problems! I have a 13 year old daughter who has a nice group of friends, but recently she’s been on the outs with her best friend who just happens to live in our neighborhood and we are friends with the parents. Every time my daughter hangs with another friend without her “best” friend, she...

Episode 83: How do I deal with my super competitive sore loser? Torie,  “I have 2 kids, 7 year old girl and 1 year old boy. I’ve always noticed my oldest has a hard time losing when we play board games. When she started jujitsu and swimming she would get easily upset if she didn’t get it right the first time and would easily get frustrated and give up. This year is the first time she’s done a team...

Unfocused and mentally spinning Question of the Day: Torie,  "So often, I find myself spinning in circles. Not physically, but mentally. When I’m in my house with my kids, there is so much going on, so many demands, so many to-do’s, I feel overwhelmed. I want to feel focused and productive, but something happens to me when I’m in my house. I’m constantly doing things, but not feeling like I’m acco...

My parents would not have put up with the crap my kids pull. Question of the Day: “My parents never would let me get away with the crap my kids pull on me. With one look I would have been silenced into obedience. What’s wrong with me that I have no control over my kids? How can I get my kids to respect and obey me the way I did my folks?”   Parent Educator Answer: Parenting Styles Authoritarian Pa...

Episode #80  How do I model resilience for my kids when I just want to cry? Hi Torie, I'm struggling with how I should model resilience for my kids, when I'm not feeling very resilient. I have 3 teens that are all doing online school starting tomorrow. I wish I could feel and model being more upbeat but I just want to cry :-(. Any advice?  Thanks, Sabrina Parent Educator Answer:  Let’s start by ta...

How can I tell if my child is addicted to video games? "My 8 year old son is out of control. The only time he is happy is when he’s playing video games. I’ve tried to set boundaries and limit what and when he plays but he is so sneaky. When I tell him it’s time to turn it off, he gets violent: swearing, yelling, throwing things, completely out of control. I’m at my wits end with this kid. It seems...

"I'm crazy for even thinking this!" Today's Question: Dear Torie, I’ve been thinking and am curious about starting my own business but I'm nervous. It would be a service based business like yours, but it seems impossible with all that is going on. I’ve been a stay-home mom for the last few years, but I find I’m a little burned out on it. I have no idea what’s happening with the kids school next ye...

Am I ruining my children?  Dear Torie, I was already stressed before this COVID-19 lockdown, now my impatience and crankiness have reached new levels. I’m constantly snapping at the kids and having trouble seeing them in a positive light. I love them, but I don’t feel loving when I look at them. All I see is what they are doing wrong. I’m constantly riding them: “Turn off the screens! Comb your ha...

Tired by 8:00am Question of the Day:  “I’m sure everyone is struggling during this Coronavirus lockdown so I feel a bit self indulgent asking for help on this. For the last few weeks, or months, who keeps track anymore, I’ve been struggling and I don’t know why. I have no reason to complain, my kids aren’t toddlers anymore, they can fend for themselves. I’m better off than many moms, but this morn...

Dear Torie,  “I’ve got so many things I want to do with my life but I get frustrated at my inability to follow through. I have a business on etsy that I haven’t touched for a year, not to mention countless craft projects. I keep saying I’m going to start this exercise challenge, but I haven’t made it past day three. I want to join the protests against police brutality and teach my kids to stand up...

This week I am muting my voice (or at least dimming it down) to help amplify the voices of women of color. I am allowing myself to be uncomfortable while I learn and grow. I want to be in the arena, taking risks and creating positive social change in our country. I want to help end systemic racism in our country. I want be on the right side of history and that starts with changing myself and my ha...