Sum On Sleeve Podcast

Social distancing. Physical distancing. Stay positive. Test negative. Stop the spread. Stay at home. Keeping sane during the COVID-19 pandemic. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…Happy New Year!  2020 came.  Then a couple of months later, we started to quarantine. A global pandemic took over our lives. It was called social distancing then it was physical distancing.  Stay positive. Test...

Why keep it real? Authenticity, candour, real talk 100%…this is what readers value when they consume a story. They don’t want fluff. They don’t want to be talked down to. They don’t want posers. They’re too smart for that. They know when you’re faking it. They can read between the lines of posturing. How can you get down to earth through your words so that a stranger feels like they know you...

Getting pregnant wasn't easy for me the second time. But that experience made me more compassionate for those who struggle with infertility. Just relax! It’s supposed to be fun…eyeroll Sure…it’s fun in the beginning. It’s exciting to make a baby. And having lots of sex with the person you want to create this life with sounds like an exhilarating adventure.  But those who never had trouble con...

Working moms have it tough. Our social life is often at the bottom of our priorities. How can one minimize the loneliness of motherhood? Some may say since the advent of the Internet, it has made us feel more lonely, more depressed, and have more anxiety than the generation that grew up without it. Specifically, it’s that constant scrolling through social media and getting access to people’s lives...

Working moms have it tough. Our social life is often at the bottom of our priorities. How can one minimize the loneliness of motherhood? Working moms have no time to stop I go back to work and the playdates dwindle down, texting tapers and the chats become infrequent. I’m in the full-blown working mom mode where the guilt rips me apart, trying to make time for myself, my job, my husband and my bar...

Working moms have it tough. Our social life is often at the bottom of our priorities. How can one minimize the loneliness of motherhood? At that moment, I remember feeling sorry for my mom, that she didn’t have people her age to talk to except my dad and a couple of her coworkers. I told myself that I wouldn’t be like that when I had kids, that I would have friends and want friends, that I would h...

Don’t throw it, re-grow in the garden or compost it My husband and I started gardening about 4 years ago. I first started regrowing green onions and this piqued my interest. All I did was cut the ends of the green onions that I bought from the store, put them in a glass with some water, let it grow a bit and then transferred them to our garden. I haven’t bought green onions for years. The next veg...

Immigrant parents often told their kids to finish their food; however, in this generation, it goes beyond the plate to reduce food waste. I’m eternally grateful for the time and place that I live in. I am fortunate I am not in my parents’ position, that they took the brunt of the hardship when they immigrated to Canada so that I can thrive and optimize on the opportunities they didn’t have. I want...

Immigrant parents often told their kids to finish their food; however, in this generation, it goes beyond the plate to reduce food waste. Canadian statistics on wasted food  According to the Second Harvest’s 2019 annual report: Feeding People, Not Landfills, more than half the food that is produced gets thrown out in Canada. This is approximately 35.5 million metric tonnes of food every year....

Immigrant parents often told their kids to finish their food; however, in this generation, it goes beyond the plate to reduce food waste. My “waste not, want not” upbringing Growing up with Asian immigrant parents, my dad’s paycheque went to 2 things: the mortgage and the groceries. My mom’s paycheque went to our clothes and extracurricular activities. And anything extra went to their savings so t...

Asian culture and the age hierarchy Growing up as a Chinese Canadian, I often felt like I was a living and breathing war, caught in an eternal conflict between the Western and Eastern cultures.  Which values do I resonate with?  Which beliefs do I want to own?  How do I want to define my identity? Is this a choice for me to make? Or my parents? Or my teachers? Or society? In Asian c...

Asian cultures value age in a hierarchical manner. I was taught to respect my elders. How has growing up in Canada affected my views? The East and West battle inside of me The other day, I was leaving the grocery store when I saw a white man in his late 60’s carrying a bunch of bags also head towards the exit.  I politely asked him, “Sir, would you like some help?” He sneered, “No thanks. I c...

How that made me look even better I’ve written about my past eating disorder, ongoing recovery and how it’s affected me as a mom. So this is about how I’ve changed my mindset around exercise, instead of abusing it, using it to heal from my abuse. How did I finally figure out a balance that made me happier, healthier and look even better than when I was in my 20s before kids?

I’ve written about my past eating disorder, ongoing recovery and how it’s affected me as a mom. So this is about how I’ve changed my mindset around exercise, instead of abusing it, using it to heal from my abuse. You can do too much of a good thing It was around Grade 10 when I understood the concept of “calories in versus calories out”. It’s a simple math equation:  The more you eat, the mor...

As the mother of a girl and a boy, I will get a son-in-law and a daughter-in-law. What kind of mother-in-law do I want to be? Hopefully, one that doesn't deserve to be punched in the face. I have a daughter and a son. They’re both under 5 but assuming they’re both heterosexual and get happily married, I will have a son-in-law and a daughter-in-law. And I get to have the title of a mother-in-law. M...

Growing up, my mom discouraged my sisters and me from taking any medication unless prescribed and required by our family doctor. Anything else was unnatural and unnecessary for our bodies. Pain is part of life and riding it out was like a badge of honour for her. Like many Asian moms, she had mastered the art of hiding her emotions. She will try everything to prevent disease before resorting to me...

What are some things you can do to avoid the Asian family drama that can happen during the planning and at the wedding? From the guest list, traditions, venue...here's what I did that I had control over to avoid most of the drama. Ultimately, it’s the memories that we have of our wedding that matter. Drama or no-drama, we made sure it was our moment to remember.

It's me and my husband's day, not anyone else's. So before I rant about the Asian family drama that happens whenever someone gets engaged and the things you can do to prevent that, let me share with you a few factors that I had absolutely no control over that helped me avoid a lot of that stuff.

Take time to reminisce and learn more about yourself When those annoying instances happen, I take the time to dig deep into myself, reflecting on my childhood, values, beliefs and priorities and why that triggered me emotionally.  Then it initiates a self-reflection journey where I write my thoughts down, discover old wounds I need to heal or patch up, build my emotional strength to pass on t...

Don’t compare them to others  Oh, how the tables have turned. Growing up, my parents loved comparing us, apples to oranges to mangoes to kiwis. That history has made me prone to their behaviour. Who’s making more? Who got the promotion first? Who got better grades? Who got married first? Who has the bigger house? Nicer car? Went to a better school? Now it’s,  Who is the better caretaker...

Be grateful  Before getting pregnant, I already knew that I wanted to raise my kids in the city where I grew up. They have great public schools (I am proud to be a product of that system) and the community is very child-friendly. I’m grateful we can afford to live here and were able to buy a home close to my parents.  I wanted to be close to my parents because I want my kids to have a st...

Out of sight, out of mind Ignorance is bliss. I don’t know what I don’t know and sometimes I don’t want to know what I don’t know, you know? Would I want to put cameras up at my parents’ house so I could monitor exactly what was going on?  What my parents were really feeding her?  How much screen time they were really allowing her?  How much English my dad was really speaking? Hell...

Have a tough conversation (But choose wisely) Picking my battles with my parents about how to care for my daughter is both an art and a science. If I nag them every time they do something that bothers me, my concerns will eventually fall on deaf ears. And generally, Asian parents are very sensitive to criticism. Often when feedback is given, they’ll immediately get defensive and/or play the victim...

Focus on the positive and their strengths In the end, my loose reins worked in my favour because my parents naturally did the “right” things. I shifted my focus on their positive traits and started appreciating their strengths.  No caretaker is perfect and it's important to appreciate your parents for what they are good at.

Lower your expectations (more like throw them out the door) As a recovering perfectionist, I’ve learned (still learning) to curb my need to be a supermom.  FYI: My son is playing in his Jumperoo as I’m typing this sentence and he’s been whining for my attention for the past 15 minutes.   Do I yell at my kids? Yes. Do I swear in front of them? Yes. Do I put Paw Patrol on so I can work out...