Strange Bedfellows

A pulse-pounding adventure full of elite haxors, Knights Templar, and secret service shootouts, Kristy and the Kidnapper is Ellen Miles’ most ambitious and exciting work yet, and the boys couldn’t be more eager to explore its hidden depths. Except that Jack’s in a bad mood, and Tanner’s not helping. Also, a plea to listeners: Get a cat. Just get a cat! Music credits: “Suspenseful Dark Cinematic My...

After heroically grappling with the inscrutable temporal paradox created by having to go and watch the Netflix show in between Friends Forever discussions, our geniuses turn their great brains to the question of whether Cary Retlin is the coolest guy in Stoneybrook, why Cokie Mason has such a big house, and what, precisely, Mary Anne is evolving into. Then Tanner brings on a very special guest to...

🚨 CLAUDIA DATES ALAN GRAY CLAUDIA DATES ALAN GRAY CLAUDIA DATES ALAN GRAY CLAUDIA DATES ALAN GRAY 🚨 That's right. The guy is Alan Gray. The guy that Claudia "gets" IS ALAN GRAY. Uh, this one is ... a lot. Music credits: “Beyond the Veil,” by Dreamstate Logic “Rising,” by Music Dog “The Prophecy,” by Fox Beat “Romance Piano,” by Twisterium “Empty Promise,” by UEMonthly “You Gotta Have Theremin an...

After the fever dream that was the Netflix video novels, the boys are thrown headfirst back into the twilight world of "Friends Forever," where the Fame Wolf still prowls, danger lurks around every corner, and any moment could be the one where the Boyfriend Trap is sprung. This week, Stacey McGill stands trial for her crimes against humanity and Claudia specifically, and Ann M. Martin lays down a...

The baby-sitters face their hardest test yet, as they stand on the edge of a dark and forbidding forest; a wilderness wherein they must wander until they learn the the truth about themselves, find meaning in the vastness of experience that stretches out before them, or do a great big smooch with Logan, depending on which baby-sitter they are. No guest from the show this week, but Jack auditions a...

The boys send their best and bravest into the heart of suburban Connecticut in search of the secret portal to Stoneybrook, but all they end up with is a nasty case of browntail moths. Coincidentally, that’s what the baby-sitters are getting into this week as well, over at Camp Moosehead, where the moths are poisonous, injustice reigns, and if you’re not careful, you might just lose your face. Kris...

Things aren’t looking so hot for Batgirl’s big day! Kristy looks like a banana, the officiant is a witch, and Mr. Spier’s shirt smells like meat. After a robust discussion of these important topics, the boys are joined by Watson himself (Mark Feuerstein) for a bracing round of Dad Talk. Music credits: “Chains,” by 3 (Emerson, Berry & Palmer) “Stardust,” by Fox Beat Stock Music “Don’t Leave Me,” by...

Something’s going on with the dads of Stoneybrook this week. Watson’s hiding something behind a mysterious blue door, Mr. Spier is undergoing some kind of unnatural evolution, and John Pike is sending us cryptic messages through his license plate. Then, the boys are joined by Shay Rudolph (Stacey) and Momona Tamada (Claudia), who agree to take an extremely tricky and diabolical quiz about their BS...

The boys bring their sharp critical lens to another fascinating video-novel this week as they grapple with a number of complex choices its creators have made around Stacey’s dating life, Mary Anne’s room renovation, and Humpty Dumpty, the shattered eggman. Then the show's Executive Producers, Naia Cucukov and Lucy Kitada, join to hear some provocative and disruptive pitches for BSC-adjacent proper...

This fascinating video-novel poses three impossible problems: Kristy’s baffling reluctance to accept Dawn into the club; the paradoxical influence of Milton’s Paradise Lost on these texts; and Mrs. Barrett’s impossible legs. Then, the boys bring in Dawn and Mary Anne themselves (Xochitl Gomez and Malia Baker) to subject them to an impossible trial of their own. Music credits: “Sadness,” by Allen G...

This one has nowhere near enough boys’ basketball in it, but that kind of sums up Mr. Prezzioso’s life anyway, so it all checks out. Plenty to discuss this week anyway as the boys encounter a new and improved Dawn, speculate about what’s in Mimi’s special tea, and perform in the auditions of their lifetime with their special guest: “Baby-Sitters Club” Director and Executive Producer, Lucia Aniello...

There’s a new baby-sitting conglomerate in town and their unique brand of baby-sitting, including sizzle reels, peer-to-peer influencer marketing, and encouraging self-sufficiency by allowing kids to play in traffic threatens to put our precious Baby-Sitters Club out of business. The boys outsource that conversation to trusted Business Scions Goliath Hardbody and Mark Markson, and then speak with...

This week we find out that the Phantom Phone Caller was inside us all along, which certainly explains why he’s still at large, but somehow isn’t any less frightening. Trevor Sandbourne takes advantage of the (hopefully) temporary non-existence of Pete Black to be the coolest guy in Stoneybrook, and The Hand of God introduces the world to the very first of our Johns. Meanwhile ... dolls. Things are...

This week, the boys slam on the brakes of the Friends Forever series and smash through their windshields right into the first episode of the Baby-Sitters Club Netflix show, cleverly titled “The Baby-Sitters Club.” Prepare for a pulse-pounding, bomb-on-the-bus thrill ride as they explore the dangerous new world of Stoneybrook 2020. With edgy, in-your-face characters such as Beret Lady, the Hand of...

Unchastened by their disastrous attempts to heckle 8-year-olds during “Claudia’s First Thanksgiving,” not to mention the censorship fiasco in “Mary Anne and the Library Mystery,” Stoneybrook’s surprisingly resilient community of book-burning fascists are back at it again this week trying to get a teacher fired for assigning “Catcher in the Rye.” Is there anyone out there who can stop them? Weirdly...

According to Merriam Webster, a “Friendship Feud” is when you have a big feud with your friend about whether it’s somehow a good thing that Stacey and Claudia are fighting and tearing apart the very fabric of the BSC, or whether it is, in fact, a bummer. This was not by any means a bummer of a book though, because it was elegantly and artfully written by the great Laura Dower, from the spectral re...

Ann continues to take a wrecking ball to what remains of our beloved baby-sitting club, this time reducing the passionate and (literally) timeless love affair that began with BSC #10, “Logan Likes Mary Anne” to a pile of dust and rubble. But that’s only the half of it. What’s got these two Weyniacs really worried is an even darker force that Ann has unleashed on Stoneybrook: Something angry. Somet...

With her Wine Crimes in the rearview mirror, Stacey McGill tries her hand at betrayal. Meanwhile, as Stoneybrook reels from what is presumably a five-alarm baby-sitting shortage, two strangers walk into town with their heads held high and their hearts set on chaos. Will Jeremy and Rachel be the lovable new characters we never knew we wanted, or are they just going to ruin everything? Jury’s still...

Total mystery what Kristy’s Big News is this week, but Patrick Thomas is getting married and he can’t do that without every member of his estranged, alienated, angry, and abandoned family by his side! Except David Michael for some reason. Also this week: Shark People, Heraclitus, and a timely checkin with WebMD. Music credits: “Fun Quirky Retro,” by Pink Zebra “Dark Skies,” by Marco Belloni Music...

It had long been foretold that Kristy would be betrayed nine times before the end. But even after Dawn and Mallory turned their backs on her, no one was prepared for the onslaught that followed. The boys return to Stoneybrook this week to sift through the smoldering ashes of what had once been a safe haven. There’s also kind of a surprising amount of discussion about the British mope-rock band, Ke...

Failing to heed their own best advice, the boys bring dolls into the sanctity of their homes and play with them. But these aren’t just any dolls: They’re the short-lived but presumably beloved 1991 line of Remco Baby-Sitters Club Dolls, complete with fun accessories like “a hot dog” and terrifying, mutated “halfling” versions of themselves. Music credits: “Virtual Insanity,” by Jamiroquai Thanks a...

The California Diaries are over. The time has come for us to roll up our JNCOs, gather up our empty bottles of MD 20/20, feed our Furbies one final time, and wave farewell to Ducky, Amalia, Maggie, Sunny, and Dawn, as they walk—arm in arm—into the warm, comforting glow of Pacific Sunwear. And what is that beautiful music we hear on the wind, like a whispered promise? Could it possibly be an angel,...

OK so Brendan’s acting super weird because he wasn’t there for Amalia when these girls harassed her outside the movie theater and Dawn doesn’t know it but Ducky and Sunny are planning this big surprise party for her? And Meat Pete wrote this one but he didn’t put any baby-sitting in it and ORIM erased something pretty important and the girls are turtles. Got that? Good. Music credits: “90s Alterna...

Maggie Blume is dating literally the hottest guy in the world! And if you think that’s Pacey from Dawson’s Creek, you’ve made the biggest mistake of your life, because now the irradiated ghosts that stalk your hallways while you sleep are going to stop your lying mouth with their spectral fingers and make you think again. That was quite a journey, wasn’t it? It was for us, too! Strap in for the ep...

Ugh, this one was pretty brutal. Sunny’s mom dies, Sunny’s dad can’t make it through his eulogy at the funeral because he’s crying so hard, and Tanner spends entirely too long talking about which characters from Duck Tales he finds the most attractive. Truly a tough one to get through without crying. Music credits: “90s Alternative Rock,” by FUNTOMASS “Rock,” by Studio Monkey “Surf Rock Chase Scen...