Stories of Men: Beneath the Surface

Here is a special re-released episode of Stories of Men for the New Year. You’re facing down 15 angry men. It’s just you and your dad. You clamped their cars earlier and you’ve been waiting for the men to arrive. You knew they weren’t going to be in a good mood. They’re glaring at you; screaming; shouting. Your father demands the men pay the money before you unclamp the cars. You make one small mi...

Here is a special re-released episode of Stories of Men for the Christmas period. You’re a soldier driving through a warzone. You pass through a deserted village. Later you see a lonely crucifix in a field. You find out what it symbolises: one night all of the people in the village were dragged outside of their homes and executed. How do you react? Do you dare to show emotion? Do you dare to show...

ep 11: It’s Christmas Eve. You’re 6 years old. Your father is taking you shopping for an early Christmas present. He buys you a dictionary, a symbol of his wish for your future education. It’s the next day and you’re woken up by a commotion in the bathroom. You get out of bed and see your father on the toilet clutching his chest. Your mum lies him down and starts performing CPR. She tells you to c...

ep 10: You’re estranged from the mother of your child. You’re jobless. You have no permanent home. You find yourself living in your ex-mother-in-law’s spare room surviving on £20 a week. You’re lying under your duvet. You’re contemplating ending it all. Then you get a phone call from your father. You’re reluctant to answer. You know that his judgement will only add to your misery. But, for some re...

ep 9: You’re 29 years old and you get the worst news you could ever imagine receiving. It’s about your best friend, the person you’ve known since you were a child. He’s ill and he isn’t going to recover. It was a friendship that had lasted a lifetime. Anthony and David had known each other since they were 8. They’d played together at school and they would relive the energy and innocence of those d...

ep 8: You’re struggling at work. Your energy levels are perilously low. You’re losing confidence. Even the minutest of challenges feels like a massive hurdle. On the train ride home, you are in paroxysms of tears. Something isn’t right. You get home and your wife asks if you’re OK. You tell her no but you don’t want to talk about it. The next morning you wake up with a heavy feeling in your stomac...

ep 7: You’ve just been out partying with your friends. You’re walking home and it’s late at night. You hear footsteps behind you. They seem to be getting louder with each stride. Do you turn around to see who it is? Do you run away as fast as you can? Or do you carry on and hope that there’s nothing wrong? Nicco had only just arrived in the UK and he was trying to fit in. He didn’t want to come ac...

ep 6: You’re working in a job that you hate. It’s become so bad that you’ve started searching for other vacancies during working hours. But one day you get called into the office and you’re told that you’ve lost your job. How do you react? Jay Smith was sat in that office in front of his two male superiors and his reaction was to cry. He thought about his financial commitments. He thought about ho...

ep 5: You’ve just started at a new school. You’re standing in the playground. You’re minding your own business. Suddenly, you’re attacked by three boys. They fling you to the ground. Your nose hits the floor. You’ve been humiliated, and embarrassed. How do you respond? Do you assert yourself and try to stand up to the bullies? Or do you stay quiet and risk being picked on again? Scott Johnston dec...

ep 4: You’re at a party with your girlfriend surrounded by your closest friends. You’re smiling and laughing and appear to be having a great time. But, after this moment of celebration, it is your intention to say goodbye. Nobody else knows it but you plan on ending your life that very night. Before taking his life, Luke is driven to make a phone call to a man who he hadn’t spoken to in a long tim...

ep 3: You’re facing down 15 angry men. It’s just you and your dad. You clamped their cars earlier and you’ve been waiting for the men to arrive. You knew they weren’t going to be in a good mood. They’re glaring at you; screaming; shouting. Your father demands the men pay the money before you unclamp the cars. You make one small mistake. The next thing you know, your father is lying unconscious in...

ep 2: You’re a soldier driving through a warzone. You pass through a deserted village. Later you see a lonely crucifix in a field. You find out what it symbolises: one night all of the people in the village were dragged outside of their homes and executed. How do you react? Do you dare to show emotion? Do you dare to show compassion? Jed Irving was a man’s man. He had been trained to keep his emot...

ep 1: Your dad’s on life support. Do you turn it off? All eyes are on you to make the ultimate decision. What do you do?  Alexander Lindsay was struggling with burnout. Having just left the job he loved, he received a phone call nobody is ever prepared for. On getting to the hospital Alexander found himself in a room with both his mum, and his dad’s lover. But with doctors needing answers, th...

Traditional ideas of masculinity are dead, and now men struggle to find their place in the world. In Stories of Men, Alex Melia speaks to men who’ve overcome challenging circumstances to find out what they’ve learned about being a man in today’s world. Alex Melia is a businessman and podcaster. From humble beginnings in Greater Manchester, he built a business which now employs over 30 people. Ten...

We're changing direction. After 98 episodes and 2 years making Our Voices, I've decided to switch the focus of the show. It will now be called Stories of Men: Beneath the Surface. I want to continue our positive impact, but challenges around the theme of masculinity have been present throughout my whole life. It's where my passion currently lies, and it's where I feel I can have the biggest positi...

Darren openly discusses the plethora of negative feelings that contributed to his emotional breakdown on his way to work. He was working in finance. It was an industry that had provided him with the good life. However, he knew that something deep down was not right. He had been drinking too much and struggling to sleep at night. All of this came to a head on one fateful morning.  “I physicall...

Tim discusses his struggle with expressing emotions. He also talks about the way in which his outbursts of temper are linked to societal expectations. Working as a delivery driver, Tim already had a strained relationship with his manager but, after a particularly bad day at work, he found himself losing control in a way which would make him deeply reflect on both his emotions and his identity. “I...

Kenny discusses his struggles with drinking and his battle to stay alcohol-free. He reflects on how alcohol use damaged his relationships with his wife and children. He also discusses how support from Andy’s Man Club has helped him to turn his life around. Through the simple act of talking about his experiences, Kenny has learnt to take control of his drinking and become the husband and father he...

John discusses a particularly intense confrontation caused by the expression of an unpopular opinion. In Leeds in 1981, John was taking part in a local council meeting. The debate that was taking place was in regards to travellers. John would be the only person in that room to stand up for a maligned constituent of the local community and he would be forced to confront the consequences of expressi...

John discusses his vulnerability when experiencing financial stress and his reluctance to open up about his financial situation to his family. He talks about his initial desire to hide the reality of his difficult situation from his family. He then describes the subsequent feelings of guilt when he realised that he was cutting out the people he should have been doing his utmost to let in.  “I...

Adam speaks about his difficulties in letting go of control after being diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. He talks about the initial concerns of being unable to resolve his health problems. He then goes on to discuss his fears about how having a chronic condition could impact both his family life and his career. Eventually, he reveals how learning to talk about his problems gave him the tools to get...

A dangerous and intense storm thrashed the boat. Leon at the helm, with his crews life in his hands. Today, we hear about Leon Ward’s fear of letting people down as he talks about the actions he took, or didn't take that day. The storm occurred while he was participating in an annual sailing competition and he saw that it posed a genuine danger to his and his team-mates’ lives. He discusses feelin...

Alex Melia, the founder of the Our Voices podcast, discusses the traumatic experience of being the victim of a brutal attack on the streets of Mexico. He also reveals how, in the aftermath of the attack, he began to experience panic attacks for the first time in many years. All of this caused him to reflect on the expectations of masculinity and saw him go on a journey which led back to unresolved...

This season, we're asking what does it mean to be a man in the modern era? and how can we become better every day. I’m to discover how men are dealing with conflicting expectations. And I’m going to take you along for the ride. We’ll learn how to process failure, and deal with confrontation. When to stand up for what you believe in, and how to manage being on the brink of bankruptcy. But first up,...

Esther was a model student at school. She was a member of multiple extra-curricular groups and she excelled in all of her subjects. Well, there was one exception: maths. If it hadn’t been for a particularly dedicated teacher, Esther may never have learned how to make sense of this subject. But not only did Esther achieve an improbably high maths grade, she also became a maths teacher herself. &nbs...