Stoic Coffee Break

As human beings, we have an amazing gift - the ability to be conscious of our own thinking. How are you taking advantage of this gift? When we are unaware of the thoughts running through our head, we are relinquishing control of our mind to the old habits and patterns that we have created in our lives and letting ourselves run on autopilot. “The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of y...

Why do we feel a sense of injury when disagrees with us? Why do we feel hurt when someone tells us we are wrong? In this week’s episode, we’re going to talk why were worry so much about what others think of us and how to learn to deal with our ego. “Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.” ― Marcus Aurelius “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”...

I’ve been thinking a lot about motivation and how we accomplish the goals that we set out to do. And I think there’s a bit a confusion about motivation and how it helps us get things done. Let’s take a look at the definition of motivation: The state or condition of being motivated or having a strong reason to act or accomplish something And let’s look at the definition of willpower: Control of one...

“Circumstances don’t make the man, they only reveal him to himself.” – Epictetus How do we deal with difficulties? Do we see them as challenges or opportunities? As something that is to be suffered through, or something that teaches us who we are? In today's episode, we're going to talk about difficult circumstances and how they are the things we should be most grateful for. Show Notes: What does...

Show Notes: How many times have we made judgments about someone when we first meet them, that later turn out to be completely wrong? “Impressions, striking a person’s mind as soon as he perceives something within range of his senses, are not voluntary or subject to his will, they impose themselves on people’s attention almost with a will of their own. But the act of assent which endorses these imp...

“Putting things off is the biggest waste of life: it snatches away each day as it comes, and denies us the present by promising the future. The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow, and loses today. You are arranging what lies in Fortune's control, and abandoning what lies in yours. What are you looking at? To what goal are you straining? The whole future lies in un...

“Tentative efforts lead to tentative outcomes. Therefore, give yourself fully to your endeavors. Decide to construct your character through excellent actions and determine to pay the price of a worthy goal. The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. Remain steadfast...and one day you will build something that endures: something worthy of your potential.” ― Epictetus Show Notes:...

“The honest and good man ought to be exactly like a man who smells strong, so that the bystander, as soon as he comes near him, must smell him whether he chooses or not.” ― Marcus Aurelius Show Notes: This quote cracked me up. And even though Marcus Aurelius was the Emperor of Rome, I like that fact that he had a sense of humor. His example is a potent reminder that we shouldn’t have to tell peopl...

“You must know that it is no easy thing for a principle to become a man's own, unless each day he maintain it and hear it maintained, as well as work it out in life.” – Epictetus Show Notes: How often do we hear something, think that we understand it, but yet it still takes us quite a while to make it a part of our daily life? Change is not easy. Studies show that it takes 3-6 weeks for a habit to...

“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has. ” ― Epictetus Show Notes: If you were to sit down and write a list of all the things that you want in your life, what would be on that list? Maybe a new house, a new car, new clothes? Would the things that you already have be on the list of things you want? One of the core tenets of Stoicism...

“Very little is needed for everything to be upset and ruined, only a slight lapse in reason. it’s much easier for a mariner to wreck his ship than it is for him to keep it sailing safely; all he has to do is head a little more upwind and disaster is instantaneous. In fact, he does not have to do anything: a momentary loss of attention will produce the same result. It’s much the same in our case. I...

“How ridiculous and unrealistic is the man who is astonished at anything that happens in life.” ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations Book 12 Show Notes: How often do we think that something in life shouldn’t happen to us? As if we are somehow immune to the things that happen to anyone else in life. How often do we think that we are owed something? As if we are somehow privileged above others, that we de...

“First learn the meaning of what you say, and then speak.” 

 ― Epictetus Show Notes: Have you ever been around someone that uses words they don’t understand? How many times have you said something, then had to say, “Well, what I really meant was….”? What if we took time to make sure that we were saying what we really meant? How many arguments could be cut short if we stopped, thought about what w...

“He suffers more than necessary, who suffers before it is necessary.” ― Seneca Show Notes: How often have you stressed over something or worried yourself sick, only to have the scenario you were so worried about never happen? When you worry about something, and you let your imagination run with something, then you suffer many times before you even get to the event that might happen. Unless you can...

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” ― Marcus Aurelius Show Notes: So many things in our lives that we experience and accept to be “true” is simply a matter of perception. Often we make the mistake of thinking that just because we see or hear something that because we experienced it, it must be what reality is. That the way the we exper...

“Man is affected, not by events, but by the view he takes of them.” — Epictetus Human beings are creatures that love good stories. Stories are the things that we use to make sense of the things in the world. Myths, such as the Greek and Roman or even Norse gods were used to explain why things happen in the world. Human beings like to give meaning to the things in their lives. It’s part of what mak...

“If evil be said of thee, and if it be true, correct thyself; if it be a lie, laugh at it.” 

 ― Epictetus Show Notes: •When I read this quote the first thing that came to mind was “I laugh in the face of evil!”
•How often do we get upset at what others say about us?
•How often do we let what others say about define who we are?
•Why get upset about their opinion, esp if it’s a lie?
•Remember, as S...

“To admonish is better than to reproach for admonition is mild and friendly, but reproach is harsh and insulting; and admonition corrects those who are doing wrong, but reproach only convicts them.” ― Epictetus Show Notes: Stoics believe that we can only control ourselves. But also believe that we are here to help others. As a Parent I’ve tried to be good about correcting there actions, but not ma...

“Well-being is attained little by little, and nevertheless is no little thing itself.” ― Zeno of Citium Show Notes: •Zeno of Citium was the original founder of the Stoic school of philosophy.
•Not much of his writing survived, which is why he is not quoted very often when it comes to Stoic philosophy.
•But I really like this quote as it talks about the importances of small habits to help us attain...

Transcript: Hello friends, welcome to the Stoic Coffee Break. Today's episode...Stuff “Until we have begun to go without them, we fail to realize how unnecessary many things are. We've been using them not because we needed them but because we had them.” ― Seneca One of my favorite George Carlin routines is where he talks about stuff and he talks about how we work at our jobs so that we can buy lot...

“If you really want to escape the things that harass you, what you’re needing is not to be in a different place but to be a different person.” 

 ― Seneca Show Notes: •How often do we wish the world would change for us?
 •How often do we think that we can run from our troubles?
•Maybe we work at a place where we feel like if our coworkers or our boss would just get their shit together then we’d be...

“Other people's views and troubles can be contagious. Don't sabotage yourself by unwittingly adopting negative, unproductive attitudes through your associations with others.” ― Epictetus It’s important to be careful about the ideas we entertain. Because the ideas we hold determine who we are How we show up in the world How we treat others Let’s take money for example. If you hang around people tha...

“Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it.” ― Seneca Show Notes: •Today’s topic is one that is a bit personal to me. It’s something that I struggle with at times.
•I’ll get upset about something, and because I let anger get the best of me, I make the situation far worse than the event that I got angry about in the first place.
•And getting angry a...

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” ― Seneca Are you a lucky person? The Stoics understood that most things in life are out of our control. The reason that they stress that ideas so much, that we try so hard to control things around us. Trying to control things outside yourself causes yourself and others a lot of suffering. Other people, events, and circumstances are certain...

“Any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him.” ― Epictetus Show Notes: •Stoics believed strongly that we are all in control of our own emotions
•One of the strongest emotions we have to deal with is anger
•From an evolutionary standpoint it seems to makes sense. We feel threatened and we respond in a way that we thin...