Starter Marriage

Allison and John discuss compatibility and how to tell if there is too much friction to make a relationship work. The conversation gets heated when Allison shares she only wants to have one kid and John isn’t so sure. During Stay or Leave, the pair decide whether they could get through an organic chemistry course If you would like to submit a “Marriage Moment’ or suggest a future episode topic, em...

New York Times Bestselling author and podcaster Amanda Montell is joined on mic by her husband Casey Kolb for the first time! The newlyweds discuss their fairy tale romance, how they came around to joining the institution of marriage, and Amanda’s elaborate proposal to Casey. Meanwhile, Allison roasts John for not understanding the meaning of the word “prenatal.”  If you would like to submit a “Ma...

For the first time on the podcast, John opens up about being on and off estranged from his parents. He and Allison unpack how his parental relationship has strained their marriage and shaped how John thinks and reacts. They also share how they each came to the difficult decision to finally go no contact. John has a new substack! : ⁠⁠⁠https://wrongmanforthejob.substack.com⁠⁠⁠ If you would like to s...

Wouldn’t life be easier if you could live on a commune with your favorite people? This week John and Allison bring their next door neighbor on the show, Celia Kettering, to talk about found family, making new friendships as adults, and the loss of community. Plus, John recounts Allison’s high-stakes wager over whether they’d eat “slop” for dinner. John has a new substack! : ⁠⁠https://wrongmanforth...

Is it normal to piss each other off? Allison and John come prepared this week with a long list of the many ways they annoy each other--from John leaving all of his stuff out around the house to Allison’s penchant for diminishing her accomplishments. And during Marriage Moments, Allison dumps cold water on John's dreams of becoming a "nectarine guy." John has a new substack! : ⁠https://wrongmanfort...

After a harrowing week without hot water, John emerges as an expert on tankless water heaters, while Allison shares her battle with pregnancy exhaustion. She also takes aim at the corruption behind John’s new cutthroat competition: “Sweetie of the Week.” Writer and disability rights activist Emily Ladau then joins the chat to discuss how the disabled community has been denied marriage equality and...

Gender roles can weigh especially heavy in a marriage. In this episode, John and Allison have a frank conversation about what it's like to be married to a member of the opposite gender, the pressures and expectations that come with it, and how those forces can drive a disconnection. If you would like to submit a “Marriage Moment’ or suggest a future episode topic, email us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠startermar...

It may be 2025 but the hottest trend on the internet is women pretending like it’s 1950. Trad Wives, short for “Traditional Wives,” boast millions of followers as they pretend to live the pastoral life of a submissive homemaker. But that image couldn’t be further from the truth. Journalist and novelist Jo Piazza joins the podcast to discuss this phenomenon and why she thinks Harry Burns and Sally...

Most couples assume attraction fades over time, but does it have to? In this episode, Allison shares a fear that’s been on her mind during pregnancy: what if her body changes and John stops desiring her? The two talk about how attraction isn’t automatic. It’s something both partners have to nurture. John also reveals his harrowing appendicitis story. And Allison admits there’s one thing she always...

John and Allison are thrilled to welcome author and historian Stephanie Coontz to the podcast for a deep dive into the complicated history of marriage. How did what started as a strategic partnership between families evolve into the over-idealized 1950s model of gender roles? Allison also unveils her nighttime alter-ego, “the Ali-Baba." John chooses a marriage moment that, curiously, doesn’t invol...

Conflict in relationships is inevitable, especially when you're making a podcast about your marriage. Allison and John dive into how they navigate conflicts in their relationship, including the surprising disagreement that arose while prepping for this very episode. John shares the exact moment he realized he wasn't afraid to have a child with Allison, and during "Stay or Leave," Allison presents...

This week’s episode is about sex, jealousy, and whether embellishing a story counts as a lie. Writer and content creator Hayley Folk joins Allison and John to talk about her experience with ethical non-monogamy and what it taught her about herself. Allison imagines what it would be like to have a guilt-free make out, and John wonders what it would be like to go on a sexy date… to the orchestra? If...

John and Allison dive into one of the most contentious topics for any couple: money. Joined by Megan Ford from the Love and Money Center, they explore how couples can navigate tough financial conversations without getting stuck in conflict. It's a challenging discussion for John, who wrestles with deeply rooted expectations about being a provider, and unexpectedly emotional for Allison, who comes...

Being single isn't failure. For some, it's freedom. Social psychologist and author of Single At Heart, Bella DePaulo joins the show to dismantle the myth that marriage is life's ultimate goal, making the case that for many, the single life can be the most authentic path. And yes, couples might have something to learn from that. Then, John faces a tough choice: if Allison runs off to Quebec to chas...

John is concerned that having a baby will totally disrupt their marriage. Thank goodness the co-authors of Baby Bomb: A Relationship Survival Guide For New Parents were available to help Allison and John navigate this new chapter. Therapists Kara Hoppe, MFT and Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, discuss how Allison and John can continue to take good care of each other despite the major changes babies bring....

So many couples focus on the story of how they got together as a testament to whether their marriage was "meant to be." In this episode, Allison and John describe all the ways their early relationship broke the mold of what to look for--from John being worried that Allison was unstable to Allison not wanting to have to get to know someone new after her broken engagement. But despite not having a t...

Allison is culturally Jewish while John is a lapsed Catholic. What does this mean for the religious future of their child? Couples therapist, Genesis Games joins the show to help the couple navigate having an interfaith marriage. Is it possible to find a middle ground to raise a curious child rather than a religious one? Also, Allison confesses to being weary of Catholicism while John reveals he t...

How do you navigate your partner’s mental health without losing yourself in the process? In this episode, Allison and John interview Sheva Rajaee, founder and director of The Center for Anxiety and OCD in Southern California. Sheva offers expert guidance on how couples can strike a balance between helping their partners and maintaining healthy boundaries. Allison talks candidly about her OCD’s  im...

Rain on your wedding day is supposed to mean good luck, but for Allison and John, it meant they were about to have the worst year of their lives. From John experiencing a life-changing set-back in his career, to Allison losing her beloved mother to a rare neurological disease, their time as newlyweds was anything but peaceful. But in the inaugural episode of the podcast, John and Allison dissect h...

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