Star Wars Minute

As Leia helps her weakened lover to stand up, the relative quiet is pierced by an obscene HUTTESE CACKLE from the other side of the alcove. Guest commentator: Dave Itzkoff See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The bounty hunter watches as Han's body is freed of its metallic coat and his forearms and hands, previously raised in reflexive protest, drop slackly to his side. Guest commentator: Dave Itzkoff See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A shadowy figure moves stealthily among the columns at the perimeter of the room and is revealed to be Boushh, the bounty hunter. He picks his way carefully through the snoring, drunken monsters. Guest commentator: Dave Itzkoff See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Chewbacca growls. As he is led away we spot LANDO CALRISSIAN, disguised as a skiff guard in a partial face mask. Guest commentator: Dave Itzkoff See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The guards instantly back away, as do most of the other monsters in the room. Jabba stares at the silver ball, which begins to glow in the bounty hunter's hand. Guest commentator: Dave Itzkoff See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The crush of debauchers moves aside to allow the approach of two guards followed by BOUSHH, an oddly cloaked bounty hunter, leading his captive, Han Solo's copilot, CHEWBACCA THE WOOKIEE. Guest commentator: Joe Dator See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

He pushes a button and, before the dancer can flee, a trap door in the floor springs open and swallows her up. Guest commentator: Joe Dator See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sloppy, smelly monsters cheer and make rude noises as Oola and a fat female dancer perform in front of Jabba's throne. Guest commentator: Joe Dator See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The guard motions them into the boiler room, where they are met by a tall, thin humanlike robot named EV-9D9. Behind the robot can be seen a torture rack pulling the legs off a screaming baby work droid. Guest commentator: Joe Dator See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

One of Jabba's Gamorrean guards marches Artoo and Threepio down a dank, shadowy passageway lined with holding cells. Guest commentator: Joe Dator See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Artoo whistles, and a beam of light projects from his domed head, creating a hologram of LUKE on the floor. Guest commentator: Jordan White See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Light shafts partially illuminate the drunken courtiers as Bib Fortuna crosses the room to the platform upon which rests the leader of this nauseating crowd: JABBA THE HUTT. Guest commentator: Jordan White See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The frightened robots are met by two giant, green GAMORREAN GUARDS, who fall in behind them. Guest commentator: Jordan White See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Artoo starts forward into the gloom. Threepio rushes after his stubby companion. The door lowers noisily behind them. Guest commentator: Jordan White See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We hear a familiar beeping and a distinctive reply before catching sight of ARTOO-DETOO and SEE-THREEPIO, making their way along the road toward the ominous palace of Jabba the Hutt. Guest commentator: Jordan White See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The commander turns ashen and begins to shake. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The exit hatch of the shuttle opens with a WHOOSH, revealing only darkness. Then, heavy FOOTSTEPS AND MECHANICAL BREATHING. From this black void appears DARTH VADER, LORD OF THE SITH. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The shuttle captain makes contact with the Death Star. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Little does Luke know that the GALACTIC EMPIRE has secretly begun construction on a new armored space station even more powerful than the first dreaded Death Star. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away... See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Pete and Alex break down the teaser trailer for The Force Awakens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We chat with the leader of the Rebel Force Band about life, Star Wars, and "Living In These Star Wars". See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug Benson is back, and this time we're talking about what we might expect from Episode VII See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Matt Belknap, Joseph Scrimshaw & Tony Thaxton are back with Pete and Alex at the NerdMelt Showroom! This time, we're reviewing a few classic Star Wars TV commercials. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Matt Belknap, Joseph Scrimshaw & Tony Thaxton join Pete and Alex at the NerdMelt Showroom to discuss the Star Wars episode of The Muppet Show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.