Spotless

What kind of cleaner are you? A Scrub Jockey's advertising project has Hanna and Andrew exploring the idea of "cleaning archetypes" -- from "The Perfectionist" to "The Putterer." They also learn that the New York Times is straight-up stealing their whole deal.

Listeners offer advice to those haunted by hard water stains, and a certified Tall Person solves her age-old problem with brooms that are too short for her. Plus, what happens when you use your favorite Mariah Carey perfume to cover up the smell of raw sewage? Unfortunately, we find out.

Hanna and Andrew wrestle over the idea of "Hygiene Theater" during the pandemic: Are all our deep-cleaning measures really necessary, asks one Atlantic  writer? Plus, Andrew has a container problem that's almost as big as he is, and Hanna has a very gross scene from The Office  that she wants to help clean up. 

Hanna and Andrew both faced uphill battles this week, one involving ants, the other involving some very bad dish-washing decisions. Plus, a listener asks for shower-cleaning help, but accidentally offers help instead. And "Rated C For Clean" returns in the form of a bloody cleanup scene from HBO's True Blood.

Andrew has had many household adventures since we last spoke, including a disgusting laundry room discovery, an even more disgusting vacuum situation, and an in-depth analysis of modern ice-trays. Plus, Hanna's been melting toothbrushes and raking carpets. 

Hanna and Andrew try to help a Scrub Jockey with her bathroom issues (um, her bathroom SINK issues.) We also hear a horror story about the dangers of keeping garbage in the freezer, and a listener remembers growing up with an old-fashioned wringer washer. 

Hanna helps a listener figure out what in the heck we can safely put into our garbage disposals, while Andrew tries to figure out what we're supposed to do with the stupid ice packs that come with meal delivery kits. 

Andrew is impressed with a new kitchen-cleaning gadget, but he and Hanna try to make it a little less sexist. Meanwhile, the Scrub Jockeys offer some critical insights into the Great Pink Slime Mystery, Andrew's ice dream turns into an ice nightmare, and Hanna tries to help a listener make a bidet more okay with the help of a....poop brush? Oh dear. 

Hanna and Andrew get all sciency as they try to figure out why Seattle is the Pink Slime Capitol Of The World...and what local Scrub Jockeys can do about it. They also learn about a cleaning product that promises not to explode when you use it. 

Hanna and Andrew try to help a Scrub Jockey reach Cleaning Nirvana with a little help from local libraries. Plus, we hear a washing machine horror story with a happy ending, and  Hanna's sister weighs-in on The Mystery Of The Weird Mr. Clean Spray Bottle . 

A listener has a flower-related cleaning problem that is much more common than Hanna and Andrew thought. Plus, Hanna tries to repair the relationship between a woman and her favorite laundry product, which may have betrayed her. And we turn to Webster's dictionary to uncover some sanitation secrets. 

Hanna and her family are ALL IN on a new type of towel (well, new to them anyway.) And Andrew looks for answers to the big questions of 2020, like "What is a 'deep clean', anyway?" and "Do we need to disinfect our groceries?"

What do you do when there are no more cleaning products left in the grocery store, except one weird-ass bottle of something you've never seen before? Well, you buy it, and then you call the Spot Line for help! Hanna and Andrew help listeners navigate this and other cleaning situations unique to the age of self-quarantine.

Hanna offers some helpful advice to a jittery nation that is suddenly obsessed with cleaning and sanitizing. We also hear an absolute horror story about a listener's inherited workspace. And Bob Villa (dot com) tries to help those cursed with bathroom carpeting. 

We hear stories of unclogging ducts, de-molding air conditioners, and fixing towels that have lost some of their absorption powers. Also, Andrew gives the AnyList app a spin around the grocery store and reports back with a full review. 

Hanna and Andrew get a lot of advice from the Scrub Jockeys today, including how to "vibe" into a grocery store and the best way to find tiny objects that have fallen to the floor. They also try to help  a listener get decades-old soot off of his fireplace mantel. And Hanna wants to form an indoor soccer team called The Seattle Suds. 

The Scrubjockeys SHOWED UP this week with advice on teaching kids to clean up, why its easy to live without a microwave, and some critical front-loading washer tips. And Hanna and Andrew are accused of ignoring a critical component in their cleaning routines.

Andrew encountered a very disturbing site in a workplace kitchen last week (when he wasn't staining hotel towels beyond recognition.) Meanwhile, Hanna has some questions about Formula 409, a listener has some creative solutions for cleaning period underwear, and the Big Chill offers some insights into 1980's cleaning techniques. 

Hanna is back from Scotland, where she met Mr. Clean's cousin. Plus, listeners (including Hanna's dad) try to convince Andrew to buy an InstaPot. And we learn how to use a potato to remove rust.

Hanna and Andrew review some holiday cleaning (and ornament storage) tips. Plus, the Scrub Jockeys share their own impressive grocery list strategies. And a special guest drops by....from the living room. 

Hanna, Andrew and the Scrub Jockeys all have strong opinions about who should wash the dishes after holiday parties. Plus, a challenge to Hanna's "Winter Light" theory leads to a question about duct cleaning. 

Hanna and Andrew discuss Hanna's new favorite cult, her new battle against dog pee, and how low winter light is exposing all our dirt. Plus, Andrew's got a new grocery store routine that's bound to destroy his relationship, and listener Max has some advice for your shower heads. And several listeners weigh-in with help for our new friend, Stinky in Seattle.

Hanna and Andrew help a listener with some very personal laundry problems that are leading to some embarrassment. They also learn a little more about Lufas (aka "Land Cucumbers"). And they're joined by a special guest for a rather risque version of Rated C For Clean.

There's a lot of bathroom talk today! One listener offers a shower-related life-hack, and another has a solution to troublesome toilet bowl stains. Plus, Hanna sits down with her mom to talk about childhood chores and how Hanna ended up becoming a clean freak raised by non-clean freaks.

Hanna and Andrew try to help a listener with a rust-stain issue in her bathroom. Plus, a theory about hiding dirt leads to an in-depth discussion of menstruation and the underwear it destroys.  And  one of Andrew's cleaning heroes lets him down.