Somebody Write This

"A newly recruited night security guard finds himself more connected to the crime than anyone else, much to two droids’ annoyance." Why do the droids care about this? What crime is he connected to? Our guest Matt Betts is here to figure it out with us! Check out mattbetts.com for more of his work, including his book of cryptid poetry, "I Was Never Here." Our links: Patreon: htt...

"Mafia lawyer Richard Darcy has reason to believe that his wife Lensky in secret is a posse of cowboys." How can one person be a posse of cowboys? How is the mafia going to get involved? And excuse me, weapons of mass destruction are part of this too? Our guest Becky Morrow is going to somehow fit it all together! Our links: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/somebodywritethis Facebook: ht...

"Her marriage-minded mother in a frenzy must try to save the day when Sleeping Beauty threatens to engulf Europe in war." What on earth is going on with Sleeping Beauty? How will her mother save the day? And that's not one of our better titles... Thankfully, repeat guest Katie Ibarra (you may remember her as Katie Ahnberg) is back with us to work it through! And our links: Patreon: h...

"Four 'businessmen' are drawn out of hiding to make a short film." Why "businessmen" in quotes? What makes this film so important? And which one of them is the last new boyfriend? Our guest Joe Curdy joins us to figure out all the details! And our links: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/somebodywritethis Facebook: https://facebook.com/somebodywritethis Twitter: https://...

"A dead body knows the secrets of his death in order to save their legendary Templar Treasure." How does the dead body get to do anything? What are the secrets of his death? And how does theatre get involved? Returning guest Josh Garcia-Cotter is here to work out this nonsense -- and talk more about wrestling and theatre, of course! And our links: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/somebod...

"The vengeful ghost of a scorned woman makes it their life-long mission to go to his ancestral home in Newfoundland and battle hijackers." Whose ancestral home is this? How is she going to battle the hijackers? And, uh, excuse me, why are there Jedi in Canada? Our guest Jen DeHaan is here to figure it out! Check out her audio drama work at stereoforest.com or listen to her podcast, Neuro...

"Four 'businessmen' share a forbidden romance with a powerful victim." Why "businessmen" in quotes? What makes this victim powerful? And is that the worst title we've ever had on this show? Returning guest Michael Todd Gallowglas is here to figure all this out with us! Find him and his work online at mtoddgallowglas.com. And our links: Patreon: https://www.patreon.c...

Hannah goofed up this week and sent the wrong files to our editor... so you all get a repeat this week! We should be back with a new episode in two weeks. In the meantime, listen to this episode with Gail Carson Levine -- one of the guests we were most excited to welcome! "A kidnapped Princess is set free and returns to the Montana Territory, where a mysterious American explores other univers...

"Women hire a good-hearted ex-con to get him back." Who is she getting back? And wait, ALL the women want him back? Are all the women hotel clerks? Returning guest Samuel Stoddard is here to figure all this out! You can find him and his writing at rinkworks.com (and occasionally you may even find Jennie and Hannah in chat over there). And our links: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/someb...

"Dispatched to the moon on a unique mission, ghost Colin tries to make it in Hollywood, his lunar nightclub." Why did they send a ghost to the moon? Why is he starting a nightclub there? And how do the mafiosos from Cleveland play into this? Our guest Zach Meikle will help us figure it out! Check out his work on the Bard Soup podcast (@bard_soup), wherever you listen to podcasts. And our links: Pa...

"The evil kingpin who put them behind bars wakes up to find that his terminal illness has become letters." Who did he put behind bars? Whose aircraft battle is this? And, excuse me, his terminal illness did what? Well, fortunately our guest Colton Petry will help us work it out! Check out his work on the Just Dumb Enough podcast, wherever you listen to podcasts. And our links: Patreon: https://www...

"When a middle-aged couple's career and marriage are overturned, a man of mystery must race to get kidnapped." How will getting kidnapped help? Will this save the couple's marriage? And whose identity is mistaken? Our guest Heather Stapf will help us work out the details! Listen along to hear how she does it. And our links: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/somebodywritethis Facebook: https://faceb...

"Terrifying monster Sarah Flynn’s life changes forever when she meets promising hitman Oscar Bennet." Is this a romance? Or a thriller? Are they the promising young couple? Our guest Brett Kelley will help us work it out! Check out him and his work on Instagram @bkartworks And our links: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/somebodywritethis Facebook: https://facebook.com/somebodywritethis Twitter: ht...

"Elizabeth Bennet embarks on a dangerous journey in an effort to obsess over becoming a bird." Is this the same Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice? Why does she want to become a bird? And how on earth does Harlem factor in? Our guest MB Mooney is here to help us figure out! Find his work on his YA fantasy book "Shield of the King," or on his YouTube channel, "Great Stories Change the World....

"A group of five boys, led by Captain Snopes, are tasked with collecting corporate downsizing that can change the fate of the shower." How do you collect corporate downsizing? What does that have to do with showers? And how did the Ark of the Covenant show up in this story? Returning guest Mary Mascari is here to help work it out. Check out her podcast Vennix the Mighty for more of her work! And o...

"A phobic biopic of Benedict, an attorney who hopes to impress the young woman, talks to the wall, and daydreams throughout his day." What makes this a *phobic* biopic? How is Benedict connected to the wife-murderer? And... excuse me, he talks to the wall? (You will hear Hannah completely unable to stop giggling at the ridiculousness of that plot point throughout the episode.) Thank good...

"King George VI has been accused of a double-murder with the help of God." Whoa! God and the King are working together on murder? And who's filming it? Our guest Milo Denison is going to help figure it all out! Find his podcast 80s & 90s Uncensored wherever you get your podcast, and follow him personally @milodenison. And our links: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/somebodywritet...

"A socially awkward fourteen-year-old who, after everything gets thrown into turmoil, decides to become the queen of evil witches but must continually prove along the way that she's capable of making a thinly-veiled campaign move." ...Well. That's a mouthful. At least we have two guests instead of just one to help us this time -- thanks, Mike and Brittany Sherman! Follow their po...

"When their love lives interconnect, she threatens the students by taking a business trip with a colleague to whom he's attracted." That's a lot of people, and our title this time is almost as long as our whole synopsis! Fortunately, we have our guest Omar Siddiqui to make sense of the whole thing. And our links: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/somebodywritethis Facebook: https:...

"When the tapes vanish, she teams up with his late dad's assistant by coming to the aid of a single mother." What tapes? Who is the single mother? Heck, who are ANY of these people and how are they genetically evolving? Friend of the pod Randy Kirkpatrick returns to help us work all this out! And our links: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/somebodywritethis Facebook: https://facebook...

"Men with short-term memory loss, Kurt and Michael, are barely functional humans with Luke Skywalker." Our frequent guest Josh Garcia-Cotter is here to write yet more Star Wars fan fiction with us, I guess...co-starring Kurt and Michael. And our links: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/somebodywritethis Facebook: https://facebook.com/somebodywritethis Twitter: https://twitter.com/writethi...

"Comedy writers Johannes and Jack are neither naive nor attractive with an Irish bomber." What does their attractive naivete have to do with this? How is this Irish bomber involved? And what wars are coming into this? Our guest Christine Nielson helps us put it all together! You can find more advice from her on how to write fight scenes on nielsoneditingco.com.

"An unscrupulous gunman must solve a strange case of a superior olfactory sense and deal with an ancient prophecy." How do these things tie in together? What does the ancient prophecy predict? And whose professional success is involved? Our guest Jake Stoddard is here to work out all these details! Check out his work at jakestoddard.com. And our links: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/so...

"This story follows a well meaning but selfish young woman at Jessica's gym." What makes this woman selfish? Who is Jessica? And which one of them is in danger of being erased from existence? Our guest Aaron Canton is here to work out all these details! You can find him and his work at aaroncanton.wordpress.com. And our links: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/somebodywritethis Facebo...

"In a chicken farm, giant bugs become a suspect when a rivalry develops between the Empire and an asthmatic junkie." What do giant bugs have to do with this rivalry? What does the entire Empire have against one junkie? And which of these characters is named Barney? Our guest Logan R. Kearsley is here to work out all these details! Check out his writings on human-alien linguistics (and mo...