Softcore History

In 1565 both the French and Spanish were competing to establish a colonial presence on Florida's east coast. That competition came to a quick and violent head (you'll see what we did there) and now the site of their confrontation might be the most haunted beach in America. Subscribe to the Softcore History Patreon for hundreds of hours of extra history content including listener history questions,...

Unit 684 was a secret group created by the South Korean Air Force in 1968 tasked with assasinating North Korean leader Kim Il Sung. After three brutal years training on a remote island and suffering multiple executions at the hands of their own trainers, the surviving members and former convicts threw a mutiny and hijacked a bus back to Seoul. Subscribe to the Softcore History Patreon for hundreds...

From ancient drug enemas to World War 1 era, steampunk-esque prostate vibrators, the history of doctors trying to treat what ails a man through his butt is as long as it is weird and gross and, quite often, extremely unfortunate. (Just ask a couple of our former presidents.)Subscribe to the Softcore History Patreon for hundreds of hours of extra history content including listener history questions...

Hate landlords? You can thank Rome for them. (Just kidding, you'd be paying someone to live on their property either way you bastards, but you just might not call them "landlord.") Either way, the fall of the Western Roman Empire paved the way for Feudalism and traditional monarchy in the Middle Ages. Subscribe to the Softcore History Patreon for hundreds of hours of extra history content includin...

The Donner-Reed Party was a group of American pioneers who migrated west to California in a wagon train and slowly tumbled into madness after months of mishaps, moronic moves, and murder. After a "shortcut" added weeks to their journey, the group ran out of food, supplies, transportation and turned to cannibalism to survive a brutal winter in the Sierra Nevadas. Subscribe to the Softcore History P...

Though Spanish Conquistador Hernán Cortés is credited with conquering the Aztec Empire the conquest might actually be thanks to his native female interpreter and first baby mama, La Malinche. The Indian noblewoman, who was sold into slavery as a child before being gifted to Cortés after a battle with Mayans and rising to become his interpreter and top diplomat, is thought by many historians to be...

Did human beings domesticate wheat? Or did wheat domesticate humans? We dive into the long history of humanity's relationship with the plant and how we ultimately went from eating wild wheat to baking bread and conquering the planet. Subscribe to the Softcore History Patreon for hundreds of hours of extra history content including listener history questions, history movie watch-alongs, and weekly...

John Quincy Adams was the 6th president of the United States who won his election in controversial fashion over Andrew Jackson in 1824. He spent his youth gallivating around Europe on his daddy's dime, helped author the Monroe Doctirine as Secretary of State, brought Florida into the union, was an incredibly outspoken abolitionist, and kept a pet alligator in the East Room of the White House. Subs...

Justice is blind. So blind, apparently, that it doesn't mind if pigs, rats, statues, and other non-human entities are brought to trial. This is the history of the trials of animals and inanimate objects held over the centuries. The charges against them range from murder to vandalism and, as it turns out, these trials were often conducted for surprisingly existential reasons. Subscribe to the Softc...

Tampa Bay’s Gasparilla Pirate Festival is a huge city holiday and boasts the third-largest annual parade in the United States. It’s also a drunken, pirate-themed, rage fest based on a lie. Learn about its history as a holiday, Jake and Dan’s Gasparilla experiences, and all you ever wanted to learn about turn-of-the-century tourism. Subscribe to the Softcore History Patreon for hundreds of hours of...

Harry Houdini was a Hungarian-American escape artist, illusionist, actor, and aviator who beefed with spirit mediums and psychics throughout the early 20th century. He went from poor immigrant slumming it with his family in Wisconsin to an international superstar traveling the globe and mystifiying audiences with his wife Bess all throughout Europe and the States. Subscribe to the Softcore History...

At the Second Council of the Lateran in 1139, Pope Innocent II banned Christians from using ranged weapons against other Christians under threat of excommunication. Was this to disarm the peasantry whose primary combat weapon was bows and arrows? Or were the reasons much... dumber and more selfish? Subscribe to the Softcore History Patreon for hundreds of hours of extra history content including l...

During a snow storm in December of 1915, an incredibly intelligent Enzo brown bear launched a series of attacks on dozens of residents in a small Japanese town. The Sankebetsu incident is regarded as the worst animal attack in Japanese history. Subscribe to the Softcore History Patreon for hundreds of hours of extra history content including listener history questions, history movie watch-alongs,...

Jake and Dan compete in a historical parenting advice quiz to determine who would be the better father. Enjoy this FREE Softcore History Patreon preview and Merry Christmas to all our Softies out there. Subscribe to the Softcore History Patreon for hundreds of hours of extra history content including listener history questions, history movie watch-alongs, and weekly bonus episodes. Learn more abou...

Takanakuy is an annual Christmas tradition where residents of Santo Tomás, Peru call out neighbors they believe have wronged them throughout the year to physical combat. With no court houses in this community tucked away high up in the Andes Mountains, this centuries old tradition is used to settle legal disputes or clean the slate on petty disagreesments in front of the whole town. Subscribe to t...

Being executed for your crimes is never fun but throughout history, some executions have been much, MUCH worse than others. Specifically, the executions that did NOT go as planned. From beheadings that needed way too many swings of the ax and backup executioners who had no idea what they were doing to the first-ever use of the electric chair in 1890, many an execution has gone horribly wrong. We g...

Henry Kissinger was a pragmatic statesman above all else. Unfortunately, he was also German and, as such, his pragmatism took a lot of dark, destructive turns. His Cold War policy eschewed ideology (and any morsel of morality that might have previously existed) in favor of outcomes. The ends always justified the means to Kissinger when it came to the global stage. Also, this guy f*cked. Subscribe...

Franz Schmidt was a seasoned civil servant killer who hung, decapitated, drowned, burned alive, and crippled criminals' spirits and bodies on the breaking wheel as the head hangman in Nuremberg for 45 years during the Renaissance. He kept a diary detailing all 361 public executions he performed. Subscribe to the Softcore History Patreon for hundreds of hours of extra history content including list...

Osama bin Laden’s 2002 “Letter to the American People” recently went viral on TikTok because random Gen Z’ers thought the terrorist architect of 9/11 made some… pretty good points? The actual contents of the letter, however, range from insane to literally fake quotes about Jews attributed to Benjamin Franklin. We break down all the historical inaccuracies and crazy claims in the letter. Subscribe...

Learn about the mystery cults that dominated the religious landscape right before Christianity took off in the Greco-Roman world. From fraternity-style initiations to hallucinatory beverages that made you see gods and think you were dead, these cults sounded... pretty fun? Subscribe to the Softcore History Patreon for hundreds of hours of extra history content including listener history questions,...

For 200 years a radical group of stone cold killers high on opium and hash living in an eagle's nest fortress in Persia terrorized Muslim and Crusade leaders alike. Hasan-i Sabbah, the "Old Man in the Mountain" led an often outnumbered group of Nizari Ismalis to mulitple victories over massive armies and organized hundreds of political hits throughout the Middle East. This devout branch of Islam o...

There's nothing like the thrill of the hunt, and for King James of Scotland and England, his favorite prey was witches. This is the story of the North Berwick Witch Trials in late 16th-century Scotland, which were inspired almost entirely by how awesome contemporary witch trials in Denmark and Germany seemed to King James. Hundreds of innocent people were executed but at least we got Macbeth out o...

Mary Bell was a child murderer, in that she was a literal 10-year-old child when she began murdering, and because her victims were children even younger than her. Learn about one of England's most horrifying murder cases as our hosts squirm in their seats. Subscribe to the Softcore History Patreon for hundreds of hours of extra history content including listener history questions, history movie wa...

A small Iowa town was shook to its core in the summer of 1912 after six members of a local affluent family and two of their guests were brutally murdered with an axe inside the comfort of their own home. A lengthy investigation resulted in several oddball suspects but ultimately zero convictions. The case remains unsolved. Subscribe to the Softcore History Patreon for hundreds of hours of extra hi...

Who does Gaza really belong to? Or Israel/Palestine in general? It's sort of hard to say since the people native to that area have basically NEVER been in charge of it. From the Bronze Age to the end of World War 2 the area we know today as Israel and/or Palestine has been ruled by everyone from the Egyptians and Alexander the Great to the Romans and the British. Basically every empire you've ever...