Smart Family Podcast

In any given year, 20% of adults will be struggling with mental illness. That means a lot of marriages are impacted at some point during the marriage. Sometimes it can destroy a marriage when we see only the illness and not the person we once knew and loved. Or perhaps the burden is too much for the supporting spouse. How can partners help each other during these hard times? What if there are kids...

Technology can be wonderful and it has made our lives easier in so many ways - even in the current pandemic. Yet it is also the "fire of our times" and a real flashpoint for many families. Why is that? Child Psychiatrist and author Dr Shimi Kang talks about this from a brain science perspective and explains how the various neurochemicals in our brain are impacted by technology use, even to the poi...

Limit setting with your child can feel like a parenting task that creates distance between you and your child. Jennifer Kolari is a child and family therapist who created a therapeutic model that encourages parents to treat kids with compassion while supporting behavioural change from the inside out. She teaches a method with the acronym CALM, which she explains in this conversation with Toni and...

Do you feel like you are always walking on eggshells to prevent a blowup at home? Does a child's behaviour come out of the blue? Child psychologist Mona Delahooke explains all of these things to us. Delving into Polyvagal Theory and past over-simplified "checklist" behavioural medicine, Mona urges us to see behaviour in a deeper and more holistic way. Once we understand where a child's behaviour i...

Are you feeling stuck, overwhelmed or disconnected in your marriage? Worried how this is impacting the kids? Do you wonder if maybe splitting up is better than continuing on? Then this is an episode you won't want to miss! Toni and Carey Nieuwhof reflect together on how a marriage can become empty, and offer practical advice on how to turn it around. As a family law mediator and former divorce att...

We've had a couple of conversations over the past year about shame with Dr. Craig Brannan, and here we continue digging deeper. Craig shares some specific ways that parents (usually unintentionally) create shame in their kids. He also brings to light a song featured in the movie, Tangled, that demonstrates statements that invalidate kids. It's never too late to take action to break generational cy...

This past year has been so hard for families. With lockdowns, stay-at-home orders and closed schools, it has been hard for parents and children to adjust. Mental health issues have increased sharply. What can we do to help our teens? It's such a pleasure to have anxiety expert, counsellor and best-selling author Sissy Goff back with us again to shed some light on this question and share with us he...

Autism has a well-defined set of diagnostic criteria. However, the behaviours often serve a purpose and if we take the time to ask "why?" it will lead to a deeper understanding of the person with an autism diagnosis. Dr Prizant has worked with people with autism for decades. In this conversation he challenges us to see autism in a new way.

If you've suffered the loss of a baby or child, or someone close to you has, we believe this conversation will help. Devoted advocate for grieving parents, Candy McVicar experienced the loss of her first baby at 33 weeks gestation. She's committed to assisting other parents who've lost children, raising awareness of the types of care and support that help people heal, and helping your marriage & f...

What is ADHD exactly? Aren't all kids normally a little hyperactive? Can it be due to too much sugar in the diet? Should my teenager with ADHD be driving? Do stimulant medications actually work? If you have ever asked any of these questions, this episode is for you! We speak with Dr Russell Barkley - foremost expert on ADHD - on how ADHD is actually a difficulty with self-regulation which impacts...

If you've been married any number of years, you've probably at least started to question the naive optimism you entered your life together with. Forgiveness? We're so much in sync, yes we'll need it but we're good. We've got this! Even if you agree that you might face hard times at some point in your marriage, in the back of your mind you really don't think you'll ever have life-rocking grievances...

Are you one of the many parents dealing with your kids learning from home? Some parents we've been talking to are homeschooling their kids for the first time. Others are dealing with helping their kids learn online from home. While both these scenarios have significant differences, there are common elements. Today, we pick the brain of an experienced educator and homeschooler, Erin Clark. She shar...

Wow we had fun with this episode! We wanted to make our conversation with Ian Morgan Cron and the Enneagram personality assessment super practical for you in this episode. So we distilled all the best from our recent conversation about marriage and parenting and then we find out how two married couples (yup - your hosts Rob and Toni and their spouses) work this into the fabric of their everyday li...

How much screen use is okay? How can you ensure your kid's digital exposure benefits their development without causing harm? How do you guide your kids to develop life skills such as attention, appreciation and the ability to apologize when tech-driven communication trends tend to oppose these skills? Screen use and social media has been on the rise for years, and although technology has opened up...

Childhood trauma is devastating. When a child's brain develops it is exquisitely sensitive to stress - before and after birth. Stress hormones literally rewire the brain, affect healthy attachment, and impair the development of pathways that promote self-regulation. This means that when we see highly dysregulated behaviour it is often due to childhood trauma. In this episode we talk with psycholog...

There's a lot of talk about how adult behaviour is driven by the underlying desire to mask shame, but when the rubber hits the road and you're parenting babies or young children, what can you do to prevent shame from developing in your own kids? While there's still so much undiscovered territory on this topic, there are some super practical ways that will help parents with the task of raising emot...

Ever wonder how you're going to move beyond exposing your kids to educational materials, when you look around and see no Black people in your neighbourhood? How do we as parents act as change agents to instill attitudes of anti-racism in the next generation? Today we have that conversation with Ashlee Eiland and Dr. Bryan Loritts - both pastors and both generously willing to talk to us about what...

Have you ever left an argument with your husband or wife feeling unsatisfied - that their apology was lame? On the other hand, has your spouse ever accused you of saying "I'm sorry" but not really meaning it? Yet, we know that not making amends leaves us open to being blocked in our marriage by walls that are built of unresolved hurts. In this eipsode we talk to Dr Jennifer Thomas - a psychologist...

Should I monitor my teenager's texts? Should I buy my 11 year-old a smartphone? How much screen time should my son get? If these questions resonate with you, then this episode with Jeff and Wendy Henderson will offer some practical guidance. It's not easy being a parent in a tech-filled world. There are so many good things about technology and the various social media platforms, but kids and teena...

The pandemic has been a crisis on so many levels. Not surprisingly, it has had a real impact on our closest relationships as well - for better or for worse. Today Dr Gary Chapman - author of The Five Love Languages - teaches us five simple ways we can strengthen our marriages, even when it feels like we are stuck at home together. There's actually no better time than this to really work on our mar...

Do you lie awake at night wondering whether the fighting between you will impact your kids? Do you feel stuck at an impasse over a marriage or parenting issue and not sure what to do next? Experienced mediator Lisa Emms Wice has helped countless people up their peacemaking skills. She shares her wealth of wisdom for couples and parents alike. Lisa is a wiz at helping couples move past their impass...

If you are a parent about to enter, or in the middle of, the teenage years - this episode is for you. We have an open and honest conversation with Dr. Kara Powell - Executive Director of the Fuller Youth Institute. Kara has done extensive research into teenagers and anxiety. Although she approaches the issue from a spiritual perspective, her insights apply to teenagers and parenting in any situati...

Expecting a baby and giving birth is supposed to be a happy occasion and a time of love and bonding. For so many parents however, it is a time of struggle and deep emotional pain, like being in a fog. The accompanying guilt and loss of function can rob a mother or father of the opportunity to nurture and bond with their newborn baby and strengthen family relationships. Yet perinatal mental health...

There have been many books written about effective discipline in children but few as popular as Dr Tom Phelan's 1-2-3 Magic. In this episode we talk with Dr Phelan and draw upon his decades of experience helping families. We discover that 1-2-3 Magic is about much more than simply counting. We delve into why this simple technique works - how it allows children to know when they have not met an exp...

As parents, we get a front row seat as our children develop and mature. We go through all the highs (and some lows, too) as their individual personalities come to light, and sometimes clash with our own. In this episode we discover how childrens' personalities are shaped and how they are influenced by our personalities. In this second part of our discussion with author and Enneagram teacher Ian Mo...