Shat the Movies: 80's & 90's Best Film Review

"Armageddon" showed us exactly what happens when mega-producer Jerry Bruckheimer teams up with ultra-director Michael Bay: Everything's big, loud, and explodey. The 1998 summer blockbuster mixed an all-star cast with top-notch special effects and all the flag-waving that could be crammed into 160 minutes.  Big D, Roger, and Gene blast off for disaster when they discuss the confusing science behind...

"Road House" invented the good bad movie. But was it actually any good? Patrick Swayze was charming but grossly undersized. The script was quotable but largely nonsense. And did you know Road House is two words? Whether you relished Sam Elliot's smooth bass and glorious mane or cringed at the ridiculousness of tearing out throats, one thing is for sure: the boobs, butts, and bar fights were pure '...

"In The Mouth of Madness" is a cult film that pioneered themes that pushed the boundaries of cinema from 1994 to present day: self-referential film making, Lovecraftian horror, and the general questioning of reality. But does it deserve to be labeled a horror classic? Every spooky twist on insanity is hamstrung by an awkward acting performance. Every slimy John Carpenter monster is countered by a...

Was "Heat" a star-studded, heart-racing heist movie or a bloated collection of subplots better suited to a mini-series? Michael Mann's masterpiece put Al Pacino and Robert De Niro on the screen together for the first time, and its star-studded cast included Val Kilmer, Tom Sizemore, Jon Voight, Bud Cort, Hank Azaria, Dennis Haysbert, and a young Natalie Portman. In this edition of Shat The Movies,...

A 40-year-old, hypersexualized rock star in a codpiece who calls himself a Goblin King steals a baby and tries to seduce the child's 15-year-old sister among dismembered Muppets, roofies, and suggestive lyrics. Yeah, we're gonna keep this one real professional. You get ALL FOUR SHAT THE MOVIES HOSTS IN ONE! Roger sees masterful symbolism. Gene hears is gorgeous music. Kerri flashes back to her chi...

Was Chunk fat-shamed or fat-famed? Does foreclosure really need to be explained? What's the proper etiquette for wishing well coin collection? And does One-Eyed Willy's hoard count as buried treasure or a fortune lost at sea? Gene and Big D fight for the honor of "The Goonies" as Roger argues it's childish nonsense.  In "The Gooonies," a band of kids who live in the "Goon Docks" neighborhood of As...

Arnold Schwarzenegger plays the Terminator, a cyborg assassin sent back in time from 2029 to 1984 to kill Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton), whose son will one day become a savior against machines in a post-apocalyptic future. Michael Biehn plays Kyle Reese, a soldier from the future sent back in time to protect Connor. Shop Amazon With Our Free Affiliate Link: https://www.amazon.com/?tag=shatmovies-2...

Kurt Russell plays hard-boiled truck driver Jack Burton, who gets caught in a bizarre conflict within, and underneath, San Francisco's Chinatown. An ancient Chinese prince and Chinatown crime lord has kidnapped a beautiful green-eyed woman, who is the fiancee to Jack's best friend. Jack must help his friend rescue the girl before the evil Lo Pan uses her to break the ancient curse that keeps him a...

Like Cristal Connors (Gina Gershon) and Nomi Malone (Elizabeth Berkley) bonding over their shared joy of eating the same brand of dog food, Roger, Dick and Kerri sit down to discuss the 1995 Paul Verhoeven "Classic" Showgirls. Showgirls promised to expose the inside workings of Las Vegas, stripping, and hooking... but instead all we learn about was the hazards of monkey-poo on stage, unexpected us...

Jeff Bridges plays Jeff Lebowski who insists on being called "the Dude," a laid-back, easygoing burnout who happens to have the same name as a millionaire whose wife owes a lot of dangerous people a whole bunch of money -- resulting in the Dude having his rug soiled, sending him spiraling into the Los Angeles underworld. Shop Amazon With Our Free Affiliate Link: https://www.amazon.com/?tag=shatmov...

Can you really call it a movie "Speed" when it only goes 17 knots? Can you call a movie "Speed" when it doesn't have Keanu Reaves? Can you even call this thing a movie? Impossible physics, premarital bickering, misplaced comedy, pedophilia, and a fundamental misunderstanding of copper poisoning make this one of the worst films Shat The Movies has reviewed. But is it THE WORST? Listen and find out....

Poker talk, smart voiceovers, Matt Damon in gigantic clothes, Ed Norton as Tyler Durden, John Malkovich butchering an accent, and John Turturro showing his deeper side. "Rounders" is the gold standard for poker movies, and listener Greg R. loves it so much he sponsored this review. In this episode, Roger reveals his gambling addiction. Gene reveals his heartbreaking struggles with friendship, and...

Spaceballs wins our Best of John Candy category, bringing Roger and Gene together against Big D for the first time ever. Hop aboard the Spaceball One as we blast through the fourth wall, celebrate Rick Moranis, learn about George Lucas' involvement, and debate whether this movie is funny at all. Roger quotes basically the entire movie. Gene gives in to a rare laughing fit. And Big D assumes he's b...

Backdraft taught us to yell at fires, run into burning buildings, cool off our sexy bods by firehose, and never, ever let our estranged sons help us make breakfast. And who knew you could make millions converting firehouses into community centers? There's a lot of wisdom in this 1991 Ron Howard cheesefest, but very little of it has to do with fire. Big D examines when it's OK to bang your ex-wife....

A deliciously young Val Kilmer, an even more delicious young Sarah Jessica Parker (played by Gabriel Jarret), a billion lasers, boring montages, horny cosmetologists, unreal liquid nitrogen, unbelievable penis hammering, Jesus in the teeth, Tear for Fears, and the most famous popcorn scene since Troll 2. "Real Genius" (1985) took the '80s nerd genre to new lows but still managed to exude some genu...

The most iconic scenes in movie history, sexy Jeff Goldblum, goosebumps aplenty, a triceratops turd too high, hyperconfident scientists, unnecessary fence climbs and adorable velociraptors made 1993's "Jurassic Park" a movie unlike any other. Roger defends the strength of fiberglass. Gene actually has fun for once, and Kerri downs an entire bottle of wine before slurring through the entire Visitor...

Premature kilts, revised history, foppish Brits, Crossfit Scots, a 40-year-old Mel Gibson, a hot 9-year-old princess, undying love, and a romance nobody wanted to see. "Braveheart" brought a new degree of violence and complexity to the historical action genre and made 3 hours fly by. Don't miss Roger Roeper's triumphant and sexually-charged return to Shat The Movies, Big D's baffling discussion of...

Laughable wardrobes, finding excuses for Jean Claude Van Damme to kick things, gratuitous Belgian sex, gratuitous Belgian sax, an avalanche of one-liners, massive plot holes and The Splits Over Troubled Waters ... it's Timecop! Gene gets deep into physics and time travel theory. Kerri eviscerates the previously unknown "Timecop is like Blade Runner" crowd, and Big D perfect YET ANOTHER action star...

Soundtrack of the gods, camel-punching, surprise romance, imperfect allies, meaty snakes, cannibalistic orgies, and a unanimous Shat Score. Conan The Barbarian often is lumped in the same shitpile as other fantasy movies, including its sequel, but this abused gem gets nearly everything right. Hear all the reasons to love this not-quite-blockbuster underdog, including its strange literary origins a...

A sparkling Sharon Stone, labyrinth storylines, crappy explosions, loud suits, popping eyeballs, James Woods pimpin', and a Joe Pesci blowjob? When you want it all, "Casino" delivers. And it takes 3 tectonic hours to do it. Guest host Kerri Gross lends a female touch (sorta), encourages domestic violence (sorta), and tells us about the one time she put a glass pipe where glass pipes shouldn't go....

"Med students explore to see what might lie beyond death" might be the advertisement, but what we got was the old bait-and-switch. Instead of that exploration, Flatliners gives us pseudo-Freudian analysis delivered by 1990's Brat Pack 2.0... all of which we found surprisingly enjoyable. Shop Amazon With Our Free Affiliate Link: https://www.amazon.com/?tag=shatmovies-20  Leave an iTunes Review: htt...

Did you know 1990's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was the highest grossing independent film of all time? It was. Did you know creature master Jim Henson lent his magic to the film? He did? Did you know this is one of the most clever films ever written, inspiring countless other comic book movies? That one's debatable. Shop Amazon With Our Free Affiliate Link: https://www.amazon.com/?tag=shatmovies-...

If you're a Quentin Tarantino fan and haven't seen "True Romance," this episode will convince you. And if you're a "True Romance" fan, Roger is about to piss you off. We catalog the phenomenal cast and all the brilliant movies "True Romance" spawned. Shop Amazon With Our Free Affiliate Link: https://www.amazon.com/?tag=shatmovies-20  Leave an iTunes Review: http://shatthemovies.com/review Vote for...

What goes great with a holiday hangover? How about a scathing edition of Shat The Movies? "A Christmas Story" is quoted, celebrated, immortalized, worshiped, and even has its own museum in Cleveland. After careful review, we don't understand why. Kick the year off angry with one of our most explosive podcasts to date. Shop Amazon With Our Free Affiliate Link: https://www.amazon.com/?tag=shatmovies...

Caught in the doldrums between Christmas and New Year's Eve? We've got one more present for you! "Scrooged" might be the sleeper holiday comedy you need this winter. It certainly surprised us. Bill Murray is at his best, and a power-packed cast delivers laughs from start to finish. The visuals are sublime; the jokes are clever, and the humor is fresh -- all without sacrificing some serious heart....