Sex.Love.Power.: Sacred Sexuality, Conscious Polarity, and Waking Up In Love

This is a different kind of episode. Often, I record podcast episodes about things that have come up with clients recently or I initiate out of conversations that I feel like we need to have in the culture that we haven't been having. Today's episode is about a topic that is blowing my mind right now, because I didn't think of it this way until I was reading this amazing book, &quot...

You've tried therapy before, and it didn't get you where you wanted to go. Maybe it helped. Many people report to me that it got them on the right path, but not really to their goals. My goal is to help couples not just reduce the “itching, burning and swelling”- the immediate pains that they're facing when they come to me- but truly create a great relationship. And, truly, what man...

There are some serious ways that our partners can be stuck. Many clients and members of my audience have approached me with concerns like, "I just need him to get a job and nothing I've tried has worked" or "Her drinking is really concerning to me, but it's not concerning to her so she's not about to get into recovery.” It's very reasonable that your partner migh...

Think for a moment about what conditions you thrive under, what sets you up to be your happiest, your healthiest, most balanced, joyful self. When that thing is missing it functions like a rock in your shoe. You're not unable to keep walking is just a little bit more painful. That’s how an unmet need can feel and how it can create tension and unhappiness in your life. Today, I want to address...

This topic is very close to my heart and it is one of the central beliefs that informs all the work I do with my clients. Today,  I'm here to tell you that you deserve and are capable of experiencing pleasure no matter where you are in life. In my latest episode, we talk about how you can bring more of that pleasure and aliveness into your marriage. As you listen to this episode, you'll...

Let me ask you a personal question (or a few). Do you have fantasies about sex with other people? Do you have sometimes active desires to consummate those fantasies? Do you wonder what that means about you or about your partner? I’m going to guess you answered “yes” to at least one of these questions. And you know what? That is all totally okay. Today we're going to talk about your desire for...

Money is a hot topic, especially in relationship to love and sex in long-term relationships. Money is energy, and it's power. How you handle money together shapes so much of the rest of your experience of your partnership and how you feel about yourself. So, today, I thought I'd dive into it in an episode about my money, our money, your money, and look at the relationship side and the er...

I am a nerd for planning. I love to envision the future. I love to review the past. And New Year's time is totally a time when I want to look over the past year and see the themes and then set intentions for the new year with my husband. But pretty early in our relationship, I got the picture that Kurt was not a planner in the same way that I was. And perhaps you can relate. I find that in mo...

"If I'm such a visionary about relationship, and my partner doesn't think that way, isn't that a problem?" This is a question I have heard many times and one I asked myself in my relationship, too.  It’s a big responsibility and can feel like a burden. But what I have come to see is that I am someone who has been gifted with the opportunity to hold vision. So in this episo...

Every year for the holidays, you make it a priority to spend time with your extended family or focus on making magic for your kids, but your relationship becomes an afterthought. Over the last 24 years together, Kurt and I have really focused on this and learned a lot about how to make sure that our holidays are a magical time for us as a couple as well. Together, we outlined the seven paths to ho...

In today's episode, we're gonna follow up our last conversation which was all about the core qualities that make a great lover in a long-term relationship with the other side of that same coin. There are four categories of obstacles to great passionate sex that just gets better for a lifetime. And the results I get with clients all trace back to my devotion to pinpointing and addressing...

Would you like to have the kind of sex that surprises you and makes your partner surprised by the emergence of that facet of you? The sort of lovemaking that keeps you both coming back for more? Sex that allows you to call up the energy at the end of the day when you're both tired, but you cannot resist the adventure because you have no idea where it will lead? This episode is for you! I will...

When we own our turn on, it lets us really own the truth of our erotic nature that it is ours and ours alone. If you've been looking for that formula on creating turn on and what we should and shouldn't do, tune in to this week's episode! This week, we're going to talk about creating turn on. Often, couples come to me wanting to feel more turned on in their relationship. I’m go...

We need to talk. One of the conversations I think we need to have is about how to get out of your head during sex. If this applies to you, you’re not alone: so many of my clients get stuck in their heads in bed. And there's a number of reasons for this.  In this episode, I will talk you through the traps that many people get stuck in that take the enjoyment out of sex and how you can start ge...

Do you crave an intimate getaway with your partner? You can make your desire a reality. Many people always feel like having a trip with their partners is impossible, especially if children are involved. In this episode, I will be sharing how Kurt and I planned and actualized our intimate getaway. I will teach you the three core stages of creating an intimate getaway and creative ways of ensuring y...

My husband, Kurt, and I just got home from our latest adventure to Croatia. It sparked so many thoughts I can’t wait to share with you about why I think it's so important that couples carve out the time to be together, to get a completely different environment, and to have some novelty and adventure. I'm going to share with you over two episodes what we've done, why, and how you can...

Today, we're going to talk about why I think couples counseling and therapy didn't really do the trick for me and Kurt, and why it may not for you either. To be clear: I’m not here to talk trash about couples counseling at all. I want to explain why I'm evolving a way of working with couples that is very different from anything that we were ever given. And why I think that that&apos...

If you listened to my last episode you know I went through the 5 losing communication strategies people often resort to in their relationships.  I promised then to detail the antidotes - the 5 winning relationship strategies that really help us overcome our learned dysfunctional patterns of relating and create healthy, adult connections with our partners.  It’s a practice.  Nobody’s perfect at it,...

If you think you have more relational skill than your partner does, yet you keep getting sucked into the same high-conflict spiral with them, this episode is for you. There was a time Kurt and I were paying $850 a session to work on our marriage with Terry Real. In one of those sessions, Terry told me I was indulging in "unbridled self-expression" in the way I talked to my husband. I fel...

If you’re realizing your partner isn’t showing up with the capacity for the love or sex or vibrancy you want, deserve, and need If you have been asking for what you need and they maybe make some moves toward it and then take steps backward and you find yourself asking, “Am I an idiot for staying when I’ve made it clear what I need and my partner doesn’t seem to be changing?” If you long for a dept...

If you’ve found yourself feeling not-so-into sex - like you yourself never have the urge, and like even when your partner initiates, you’re not interested… but you wish you were, this episode is for you.   And if you’re the partner who does want to have sex, whether you try to initiate or you’ve heard “huh-uh” so many times you’re too discouraged to ask again… We need to have this conversation.  ...

“We have 2 kids, but I feel like I’m a mother of three, including my husband!” “Why does he have to talk down to me about the things I struggle with?” Do either of these sound familiar to you? Some people find themselves frustrated by a sense their partner is less adult than they are or that their partner is incompetent in some way.  Others feel that their partner treats them like they’re inferior...

If you have a male partner who avoids sex or gets stuck in his head sometimes during sex or about sex, this episode is for you.   If you or your partner struggle with what the industry tends to call “sexual dysfunction” - which is so pejorative - I do not like any of the medical terms at all - from erections that don’t start or that don’t stay, to ejaculating before you’d like to, not ejaculation...

We’re diving deep into how patriarchy gets into our relationships and messes with both partners, regardless of what gender everyone is.  This episode is a response to a beautiful letter from a listener.  I look forward to hearing your experiences.  What is the role of male privilege in your relationship?  How does psychological patriarchy affect the intimacy and aliveness in your relationship?  Li...

If you’re a woman and you feel like you’re always “on”, always have to be handling projects, tasks, and other people’s feelings and needs…. And you just crave to let down, lay back, and have someone else handle it all for YOU now and then… and handle you really well in bed, to boot… This episode is for you. Or if you love a woman who seems demanding, take-charge, always “on” and seldom satisfied,...