Select BGM

Iron the collar on your lumberjack shirt and hop atop your ox. Bring the paper towels as the moist masses need some cleaning up that only a brawny sloppy-joe eating crew like all of you Select-BGM-ites can provide. Cross your barb-wired arms and stand shoulder to shoulder with your burly buddies at Select BGM. Not!

To the beat, tick tock, get up.. stop - what you're doin', cause we're about to ruin you. Everybody's dancing to the new jam where Jon and Rich hang you up like a piece of meat and pummel you with the best new jack this side of Mumbai. Try to figure out how to act because in this movie there are no winners, only debris of mispronounced hocus pocus and the usual nonsensical babble you've come to be...

Put a leaf in the table because this week we give your sensitive sensibilities a light jumping in hopes of helping you get in where you fit in the tomb of the mutilated. Cough out some magic sparkles and revel in the sandalwood scented ambiance as you climb up that ladder and press record on your VCR so that you can grind your shards to some Select BGM.

After a long day in middle management you decide to be an agoraphobe, sink into your sofa and order in some stonery goodness. Pop, pop, pop, pop clanks your door. Outside stands a wielder of some fast food, sweet tunage, and she's gunning for your heart. You scoot in and she grimaces which lightens up your mood. Care for a "bang"? You aren't usually lucky but it's after hours and different tactics...

Shake a leg and strap in for a ride on the malarkey express as Jon and Rich present the same old poppycock they always do. If you are down in the village watch out for the bad things and their time traveling tendrils seeking out cultural carrion in this week's episode of Select BGM.

Jon and Rich lay off the opiates and cheese to squeeze out this data dump of dope funky hype jams. Rainy days and ghosts haunt the hallowed halls of bit-rot and vomitous regurgitation. If you can stomach it you'll find diamonds in the roughage at Select BGM.

Pop some nicotine and let the Nite Brite cosmic scenes put some parity error into your wavetable. We're here with another week of generous entrees of bad news music guaranteed to put some pep in your step. Big snort! Discard the merkin and pull out the blue porcupine spines and yellow things with a magnifying glass to kick some ass with us at Select BGM.

Sho'Nuff is bringing the magic of Scheherazade to your turf so it's time for you to Leroy-up and become the Last Dragon. Jon and Rich will bring a selection of ghetto blasting tunes for your clash at Demonhead and play-by-play the bout with questionable, racial commentary. It's all in good fun here at Select BGM.

Like a gift from the heavens we have decided to come back and impregnate your ears with the best, most effortless 50% we can give. Lay back, cross your eyes and let the throes of iehova tear up your guts at Select BGM.

We are back for one special show. Come say goodbye and if you want to see over the console to the glory of Hale Bopp then we have a bunk for you.

This episode is anything goes because after four years, 125 episodes, and 1500 video game songs played - Jon and Rich are stepping back and taking a sabbatical. We thank all our faithful listeners for sticking with us and look forward to coming back next year with a new show. Or not. Either way, Select BGM in its current form is finished having provided over 125 quality hours of entertainment. Sei...

From the heavens shone a light, and then he stretched out his arms and died on the dance floor. Might sound like a cool story bro, but it's a fact that what you think is real life is sometimes just a ruse perpetrated by angels of the innocent type, but mostly by the ones who boast of their large heavy metal riff collections. Join us on this badly executed ride because it's fire in the gym at Selec...

The days people are proud of are the ones where they were young leeches on society and had a free ride. Spirited and sassy rebellion is a youthful right and not something that flatters aging rock stars. Raise up a toast and salute those who have always kept it simple, or have learned to move beyond their intricate systems of absurdity. Whether it's butter side up or on the rocks, it's all the same...

If you think Coke is it, then the Pepsi Generation would like to have a word with you. Enjoy your Fresca or Tab if you are one of the beautiful people but know that everybody hates your guts. Can't decide, then top up on your meds because you're obviously bi-colar. Crack open a can and hit the battlefield for an effervescent onslaught with Select BGM.

From the backwoods Jon and Rich bring you a strange brew of forest green, ocean breeze, and witch's essence to make up a vat of chip and orchestral goulash. Dig a hole and keep leaf ready as your stomach may not yet know of these different exotic flavors. Simple times call for stupid measures, and that's what we bring this week. Order a pizza, kick back and get ready to groove to the groan of Shee...

If you lived in 18th Century Western Europe the only music to your ears would be the dying screams of alley whores and the dissonant clack of your wooden leg as you hobbled through cobblestone streets to work at the docks in indentured servitude to the shipyard Master. Some select few however, would reside in the royal apartments and lay down phat Baroque beats for King and Country. Rosy those che...

Hey Select-BGM-ites, jump on the tiger and ride into the reformed second coming of the church of the new season with Cat-Ass-Trophy. Put down your Reader's Digest and soar your butt pillow through jingles of disaster, catastrophe, felines, and triumphant trophies. Get amped on the frenzied outbursts of pure venomous vice via the seven tongues of Select BGM.

Season 10 erupts in your sweet ears with the return of Eli from the Manimal episode! Our guest reflects warmly about the halcyon days of the '90s when brick and mortar retail was still a thing. We've selected a grip of sexy sweet and silken tunes to ease you into the new season. Like Storm Eagle from Mega Man X. Sexy time. Glad to be back and have you all listening to Select BGM.

Is it an MRI of an evil baboon or just a pain in your ass? It certainly would matter more if you could travel back to the origin and find peace, but instead you just find the best of tracks from another season of our mediocre show. Enjoy the participation trophy and thank you so much for listening. We're going to be taking a much needed 6 week break. We aren't popular at all, so don't worry about...

Throw it at the wall and sometimes it splatters, but if it sticks it sticks. This week we bring you another grab-bag episode where the theme is not having one. The synthetic creatures look to the sky and get elevated on processor blasting themes of fantastica while Jon and Rich pontificate aimlessly. Next week we'll do a best of and that'll wrap up Season 9. They can't all be winners, but a winner...

The old and busted is now the new hotness as Jon and Rich select songs from new, retro throw-back video games. Remember getting a new NES game from your parents? With inflation that $44.99 copy of Jackal would now cost $102.94. Take a moment to appreciate that which you have. Enjoy the Square Lead with no millisecond jump delays here at Select BGM.

It's a delicate time when Cowboy Curtis cracks that whip-strap mean. Chani, the second time around didn't quite make it, but in the desert of mecha robot world we have some fantastic tracks of synthetic electro-sophistafunk to Shai your Hulud. Top 3 is a thing now and you have the Touch. Scan our codes and be thankful for the novelty of gurgling up milk through your disembodied head at Select BGM.

Buh-buh-buh BGM of Motoi Sakuraba is the progtastic focus this time. We kick off this tale through the imagination of a legend in the Japanese video game music scene multiple times but there are no false starts. We'll date your mother, talk about the devil, and even resurrect a dead segment of the show. Put on your UK T-Shirt and rock that moustache ride over to the livest show around at Select BG...

We need a hero and believe it or not, Jon and Rich are answering the call and flying away on a wing and a prayer. What does it take to be a Hero? We'll answer that with 12 songs about heroic virtue. Put away your rampant alcoholism, raise your sword to the heavens and rock-on at Select BGM.

Chip the fabric of reality where the singing computers paralyze you. The shadow people may ask you to go for a hot dog or to just kill 'em in service to the Universal Machine. Crack the box and embrace the voices, dog pee, origami, money, prizes, and the almighty goat lord. It's all positive things at Select BGM.