SECOND CLOCK™

Sometimes the hardest thing is to let go of a dream, a wish, a desire and hope. The fantasy of an outcome can make us hold on far longer than our logical mind cares to. It is only when reality fades into sight that letting go becomes the option.

When I started dating I found myself caught up in guys future plans for us. Little by little I came to find that most of it was just talk. But why would they do this? All these fake future plans intrigued me and I needed to understand the role I played and how not to get played.

One year in and I have learned a lot. There have been fun bits, bad bits and the messy bits in between. Here I explore the messy side of dating. From the virtual penpals, catfish, flakes, bread-crumbers, love bombers and the ghosts.

You hear buzz words all the time and they start to blend together, so what does it take to get a term to stand out and be owned? Well, in my case it would take a man from “down under” to shine a light on what I failed to see.

When you date in the "Wild" a first impression is based on how someone looks, their body language, and the way they interact with you. You can decide then and there if you want to see this person again. Dating in the "Virtual Jungle" creates a series of first impressions, with time for you to learn every step of the way. With this pyramid of first impressions , all culminating...

After a Life Leap, like mine, you can find yourself Dreaming again. It is a time for childhood wonder. Reset your clock and dream a little dream with me.

What does it take to be a B*tch?

Over the last year and a half I have made a flurry of changes and discoveries, but one question remains unanswered, "What Do You Want?" This seemingly simple question proved to be anything but simple. Sometimes we get lost in everything people say we should want and lose site of what we actually want. So now I explore it all. I give myself permission to change my mind, challenge expectat...

Sometimes it takes a stranger to show you, YOU. Once I saw myself through these men’s eyes I could not unsee it. Following these experiences, I questioned what kept me playing small for all these years, and what I would need to do to reclaim myself.

After being jolted awake by a toxic person, who had perfectly played the role of my friend, he couldn’t hide his true nature for long. When his façade washed away, it left me confronted with the knowledge that you do not know what a person is capable of, until you know. Through this relationship I could finally see, create boundaries and learn.

When I started dating again my world opened up. I was meeting new people, learning about them and more about myself. Sometimes the dates workout well and you walk away with a second date and sometimes you leave knowing you will never see this person again, but if you are lucky, you learn. On this date I learned.  

When I was married and would go out with my single friends, I saw endless possibilities for them and I saw fun, but when I would look at them, they would be lost in dread and fear. It was amazing how differently we saw things. When it was my turn to date again, I wanted the process to be fun. Here is my account of what reentering the dating world looked like for me.

I spent a lot of time trying to be who other people wanted me to be. Scared to change or let people know that I had changed. I tucked a lot away and labeled some things shameful. I am not alone in this. I found that every time I shared something that I had previously kept in my "shame box" it freed a part of me.

We are all molded by where we came from, and who we were surrounded by. Little by little we take shape. I learned to adapt and play by the rules that others set. Before I started to challenge social norms, I first thrived in them. This is my origin story.

When you take steps to end your marriage, there is a brief sense of freedom, followed by the sad awareness that your children will need to know and eventually your friends, family and your immediate world. My seemingly private relationship with my husband, was becoming public, just as things were being figured out and becoming undone. My reasons, decisions and plans were now subject to other peopl...

It was not easy to undo a 20 year relationship, it was not easy to figure out what to say and pick the "right" time to say it, but I found it harder to live in the shadows and lie. Here I come to terms with ending my marriage and taking on the societal label of "separated." I chose this path so I could meet the woman I had become.

At 43 I found myself caught between societal expectations and what felt right, for me. It was the act of cheating that would lead me to question everything I thought I understood and wanted. Through this rediscovery of my Body, Mind and Soul I was awoken.

To rediscover who I am and what I truly stand for, appreciate and will accept, I first had to evaluate who I currently am, how I got here and what I needed to understand and shed. I started with my Mind. After so many years of toxic relationships with family, friends and employers, I realized I would need to understand how I let them in before I could cast out everything that did not feel right.

To rediscover who I am and what I truly stand for, appreciate and will accept, I first had to evaluate who I currently am, how I got here and what I needed to understand and shed. After looking at my Mind I tackled my Body. I stopped being trapped by labels and started by re-envisioning myself then reshaping myself from head to toe. I grew stronger in who I was and start to embody and align with t...

To rediscover who I am and what I truly stand for, appreciate and will accept, I first had to evaluate who I currently am, how I got here and what I needed to understand and shed. I started with my Soul. After so dedicating my life to what society said is what I should aspire to have and work hard to keep I started to feel the whispers from inside, questioning it all.

At 43 I was happily married, with two kids, a successful business and found myself lost in societal expectations and having fulfilled my obligations to my biological clock, it was then that I heard the ticking of my Second Clock. A clock I set and that would accompany me as I risk walking away from everything society says women should have if they want "it all.” I turn inward to find what mak...