Saturday Night Freak Show

Colin goes to Spain with his horror-rock idol Alice Cooper to fight a Monster Dog (1985)! The shock rocker plays a singer visiting his cursed ancestral home with the intention of filming a music video, but there's a pack of killer dogs on the loose. Or, maybe it's a werewolf movie. From the director of Troll 2! Listen as we spy on self-conscious German Shepherds, get lost in volumetric fog, and fr...

Michaela spends a lot of time lurking around a high school targeted by a slasher in Cutting Class (1989), starring Brad Pitt in his first major role. Jill Schoelen ( The Stepfather ) stars as a pretty senior stalked by, well, everyone, as a psycho killer thins out the cast. Listen as we visit the school of sex crimes, detail the best way to be a professional lurker, and try to decide if the movie...

Holly fights Civil War cannibal vampire ghosts on Alcatraz Island in Slaughterhouse Rock (1988), a movie we thought would have more of a music theme since it stars Toni Basil ("Hey Mickey, you're so fine...") and sports a score by Devo. Listen as we talk about demon possession, night terrors, astral plane warfare, paranormal professors, and beg for the return of cloaks as evening wear on this week...

Sean discovers getting into college can be murder after undertaking The Initiation (1984), in which a troubled college student, plagued by nightmares, finds murder and mayhem in store after she undertakes and experiment to find what lurks in the recesses of her amnesiac mind. Listen as we talk the practicality of night caps, shopping mall slashers, how to guess a killer's identity, and more on thi...

Colin revs his engines with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth watching Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man (1991), a neo-Western starring Mickey Rourke and Don Johnson as the titular anti-heroes who rob a bank to save their friend's bar and find themselves the target of futuristic drug smugglers. Listen as we mourn the death of Joe Camel, have Crystal Dreams, and hang out with Jack Daniels and...

Michaela runs down the street screaming "I'm a vampire! I'm a vampire!" after getting a Vampire's Kiss (1988). Prepare for undiluted Nicholas Cage as a NYC literary agent who begins to suspect he's becoming a blood-drinking creature of the night following a one night stand with a sexy vampiress. Listen as we talk about live cockroach consumption, funny accents, recite our ABCs, and celebrate our 5...

Holly jams too much data into her wet-wired cranial hard drive with Johnny Mnemonic (1995), which finds our hero, played by Keanu Reeves, in the same life-threatening predicament. Only a plunge into the kaledescopic virtual rendering of cyberspace and the aid of a biologically enhanced dolphin can save him! Listen as we upload our downloads, get lo-fi with Lo-Teks and Tek Wars, burn chrome and go...

Sean sweats blood at the Death Spa (1989), one of the most 80's movies ever to grace screens, about a health club owner, haunted by the death of his wife, who finds the jealous missus may be reaching out from beyond the grave to kill customers at his swanky, fully automated fitness spa. Listen as we talk neon lights, pastel colors, wild fashions, angular architecture and exploding bodies on this w...

Colin girds his loins against the emasculating razor attack of The Witch Who Came From the Sea (1976), about a woman who experienced sexual abuse as a child who castrates the men she fantasizes about on television. Listen as we talk about the storied career of co-star/casting director George "Buck" Flower, intestinal ailments and the treatment for them, and the need to shower immediately upon fini...

Michaela finds there's hell to pay with the final film that Cannon ever released, Hellbound (1994), starring Chuck Norris, the only man to play Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and win. Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he takes blood baths. Did you know Chuck Norris once destroyed the periodic table? Because the only element Chuck Norris needs is the element of surprise. All this and more Chuc...

Sean files charges of lactose abuse against Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker (aka Night Warning, 1981), starring cult movie icon Susan Tyrell in a histrionic performance as a woman with an incestuous interest in her 17-year-old nephew, who may resort to murder to keep him close to home. Listen as we reel in shock and horror from multiple weaponized milk products, homophobic cops, logging truck deca...

Holly finds some of that Old Time Religion hunting down the God's Hand Killer in Frailty (2001), the directorial debut from actor Bill Paxton, a Southern Gothic horror-thriller about a single dad who receives a visit from an angel and trains his sons to slay demons on Earth. Listen as we talk religious fervor, killer children, supernatural visions, and an axe named 'Otis' on this week's exciting e...

Colin tries not to lose his head as he vows to claim The Prize with Highlander (1986). Immortal Christopher Lambert, born in the Scottish highlands, learns the ways of The Quickening from Sean Connery and struggles to reach the time of The Gathering in NYC when all these immortals will try to behead each other, because in the end There Can Be Only One. Listen as practice our swordplay, unravel the...

Michaela rings the death knell for the Cannon Films empire with Cyborg (1989), a cheaply made Jean-Claude Van Damme sci-fi martial arts action flick cobbled together from the remnants of the unrealized Spider-Man and Masters of the Universe 2 , casting Van Damme as a post-apocalyptic warrior trying to rescue a cyborg woman from the evil bandits who murdered his True Love. Listen as we chart the ri...

Holly tries to survive an onslaught from the Raiders of Atlantis (1983) after the discovery of a sunken nuclear submarine somehow causes the mythical society to rise from the ocean depths, and its marauding citizens lay waste to the inhabitants of surrounding islands. From the director of Cannibal Holocaust. Listen as we marvel at gonzo Italian stunt work, work hard to untangle the plot, and propo...

Sean arms himself with a giant can of Raid and plunges deep into The Nest (1988), a movie about a seaside community that discovers it has been an unwitting chemical testing site that has given rise to killer cockroaches. Listen as we talk about roach-food recipes, strange human-cockroach love rituals, and witness humans puppeteered by cockroaches, all on this week's exciting episode! Hosted on Aca...

Colin fires up his hog and prospects for The Brotherhood with Stone Cold (1991), a starring vehicle for former Seattle Seahawks linebacker Brian Bosworth, casting him as an undercover cop infiltrating a rough biker gang led by Lance Henriksen. Listen as we praise real movie stunt teams, kill a helicopter with a motorcycle, and learn even more weird breakfast blender recipes on this week's exciting...

Michaela sheds common decency and takes a bite of The Apple (1980), a sci-fi disco glam rock musical directed by maverick Cannon Films co-founder Menahem Golan. In the future, a satanic music producer rules the world and attempts to lure and corrupt a young singing duo into his decadent world of sin. Listen as we dip ourselves in glitter, rigorously observe BiM hour, and meet the spectral Cadillac...

A thousand years has ended, so Holly must bear witness to the End of Days (1999), a movie that smashes together a grim religious horror movie with a gigantic Arnold Schwarzenegger action film, pitting Arnie and all his weaponry against The Devil, who comes to New York in search of a wife. Listen as we wonder about the monthly meeting habits of Satan worshippers, detail strange hangover cure recipe...

Sean wants to play your screams as a symphony with Virtuosity (1995), a futuristic thriller that pits former cop Denzel Washington against a psychopathic A.I. given corporeal form (Russell Crowe), who contains the "genetic profiles" of 183 serial killers. Listen as we discuss "nano-death," personality cubes, glowing tube science, and drive semis through gaping plotholes on this week's exciting epi...

Colin experiences ocular trauma at the Opera (1987), conducted by Italian maestro Dario Argento. An ingenue is suddenly thrust into the lead role in a production of MacBeth and finds herself the unwilling audience for a serial killer who tapes needles to her eyes and forces her to witness murder. Listen as we experience cursed plays, retail flashbacks, dizzying camerawork, flies on a string, and m...

Michaela plunges sight-unseen into the addictive virtual reality terrors of Hellraiser: Hellworld (2005), which finds genre vet Lance Henriksen luring a group of teens, including a young Man of Steel, Henry Cavill, to a party based on their favorite video game: Hellraiser. Is that meta enough for you? Listen as we express shock and dismay at the lack of video game representation in a movie that pr...

Holly takes a peek inside the phantasmagoric fantasy landscape of a serial killer's mind in The Cell (2000), which finds psychologist Jennifer Lopez tunneling into the dreamworld of comatose psycho Vincent D'Onofrio to find his latest victim before it's too late. Listen as we discover strange body modification rituals, discover 'dead' bodies in the woods, and learn about a dentist who's the world'...

Sean learns "If you can't find a friend, make one" with May (2002), about an awkward young woman and her pursuit of love. Except, after a series of painful rejections, she becomes more in love with a person's body parts than the whole. Listen as we detail cringe-worthy human dating rituals, doll dismemberment, and find the proper way to unwrap a gift on this week's exciting episode! Hosted on Acas...

Colin gets to know life by becoming a gallblader enthusiast in Flesh for Frankenstein (aka Andy Warhol's Frankenstein, 1973), which finds a fascist Dr. Frankenstein seeking to create a superior race of humanoids but things go wrong when he chooses the wrong subject for his experiments. Listen as we get gross with weird sex and splattery gore as body parts are flung out of the screen in three dimen...