Saturday Night Freak Show

Holly is pretty sure the makers of Samurai Cop (1991) don't know anything about samurai, police procedure or the fundamentals of filmmaking. In a film that's become a cult classic because of its enthusiastic ineptitude, man-of-action and chick-magnet L.A. cop Joe "Samurai" Marshall becomes the target of the Japanese mob and leaves a trail of bodies across the city on a crusade to wipe out "drugs a...

Sean begins to think that tiny, ear-burrowing aliens are taking over the world in  The Faculty  (1998), as director Robert Rodriguez assembles a who's-who of 1990's screen talent to perform in  Scream -writer Kevin Williamson's mashup of  Invasion of the Body Snatchers  and  The Thing . Listen as we bring in a real-life teacher to confirm or deny the accuracy of onscr...

Colin breaks his Bowie knife, explosive tipped arrowheads, and red bandanna out of mothballs in celebration of the 30th anniversary of Rambo III (1988). This time, Rambo has to go bail Colonel Trautman out of a Soviet jail in Afghanistan and along the way he blows stuff up so much he sets the silver screen on fire! Listen as we talk at length about shearing sheep, the tipping point of 80's action...

Michaela keeps one eye on the clock all through  In Time  (2011), a futuristic sci-fi yarn in which time has replaced money as the world's currency. Justin Timberlake finds he has all the time he needs once he's gifted 100 years by a random stranger. Soon, he's watching his time tick away while on the run from the Time Keepers as he tries to punch the clock of the rich and powerful maste...

Holly discovers where the wild things are when ventures into the jungle to watch  The Island of Dr. Moreau  (1996), the legendary Hollywood debacle that featured the combustible on-screen pairing of egomaniacs Marlon Brando and Val Kilmer, and obliterated the career of earnest-but-in-over-his-head director Richard Stanley. Listen as we try to determine why it's taken so long for us to re...

Sean sees a need for law enforcement to police renegade Roombas in  Runaway  (1984), a what-if futuristic scenario from writer/director Michael Crichton that finds domestic robots turned homicidal killers. TV's Magnum P.I. Tom Selleck leads the charge against evil chip manufacturer Gene Simmons, who does look very sinister in a suit and tie. Listen as we dog on the movie for where its fu...

Colin doubts interspecies fishsex is anything but gross after watching  Humanoids from the Deep  (1980), a Roger Corman-produced schlockfest in which mutant fishmen attack a small seaside community to kill the men and rape the women in an attempt to further their biological evolution. Listen as we dive deep into the flipside of the Shape of Water and say NO to merman intercourse while fi...

Michaela remembers what it was like to be a teen girl in the 90's when she catches  Fear  (1997). Cute-as-a-button Reese Witherspoon falls in love with unhinged sociopath Mark Wahlberg who displays increasingly aggressive behavior until her father (William Petersen) gets into the mix, triggering a violent showdown between her family and Wahlberg's gang of thugs. Listen as we talk a walk...

Holly ventures deep into the Amazon and gets wrapped up in the giant snake movie  Anaconda  (1997)! Jennifer Lopez and company set sail down the river and pick up Great Snake Hunter Jon Voight who proceeds to imperil the crew and chew scenery in his search for the biggest snake that ever lived. Listen as we take the wayback machine to the glory days of big budget, big studio creature fea...

Sean is heaven-sent and hell on wheels after choosing to watch  The Wraith  (1986)! A murdered teen exacts revenge from beyond the grave on the street-racing gang who killed him after the netherworld outfits him with a sleek black racing suit and a Dodge Interceptor. Listen as we take a look back at one of the 80's-iest of 80's movies, fawn over the rock n' roll soundtrack, explosions, d...

Colin introduces the Freak Show crew to their first proper Chuck Norris movie,  The Delta Force  (1986). Norris teams up with tough guy Lee Marvin in Cannon Films' "this is how it should have ended" re-staging of the 1985 hijacking of TWA 847, only this time climaxing with America's decisive and explosive victory at the hands of the steely-eyed, quick-footed Chuckster and Co. Listen...

Michaela finds that spending time watching Nicholas Cage movies makes her want to  Drive Angry  (2011)! Cage stars as a dead man who breaks out of Hell to pursue the cultists on Earth who have abducted, and plan to sacrifice, his granddaughter to Satan -- and to do that he's gonna need muscle cars, supernatural shotguns and Amber Heard. Listen as we discus improbable hairstyles, bat...

Holly discovers that terror can come in any shape after watching  Sphere  (1998), an attempt by Hollywood's A-list to imbue geometric shapes with unworldly menace. After discovering an alien craft at the bottom of the ocean, the Navy recruits Dustin Hoffman, Sharon Stone and Samuel Jackson to investigate. Once in the murky depths, paranoia, hallucinations and death take hold. Listen as w...

Colin discovers that in Yor's world, he's the man, as we grovel before  Yor: The Hunter from the Future  (1983) in which we follow our musclebound hero (Reb Brown, TV's original Captain America) on a sword and sorcery quest to rescue fair maidens, defeat hideous beasts, and ultimately discover the mysterious origin of his people. Listen as we discover there's no bad movie magic like...

Michaela discovers that neither by hook nor by crook can she get rid of  The Babadook  (2014). A troubled youngster and his widowed mother find themselves pushed to the breaking point when a sinister pop-up storybook appears in their home, heralding the arrival of a malevolent spirit. Listen as we discus the critical vs audience reactions to the movie, what the Sundance hype train means...

Holly suggests a better sacrifice to  The Wicker Man  (2006) might be the film itself, as the often-imitated-but-never-duplicated screen icon Nicholas Cage finds himself alone on an island populated by an all-female pagan cult; he thinks he's there to rescue a young girl from becoming a sacrificial victim but, well, you've seen the "not the bees!" memes. Listen as we are denied our momen...

Sean sends us all to the madhouse after watching  Cathy's Curse  (1977), a Canadian Exorcist-rip off about a little girl who becomes possessed by the spirit of her dead aunt (we think) or her dead great-uncle (could be), which may have taken control of her doll (possibly) and now wants to kill everyone else in the family (definitely). Listen as we try to deal with a series of anti-climax...

Colin unwittingly brings back rubber-suited monsters from space after coming in contact with  The Green Slime  (1968)! After destroying an asteroid on a collision course with Earth, the space station Gamma 3 finds itself host to a green, slimy substance that transforms into a horde of electricity-sucking, tentacled creatures that threaten all life as we know it. Listen as we talk about t...

Michaela spends time trapped in a box with Ryan Reynolds in the thriller  Buried  (2010). Reynolds plays an American contractor, taken hostage in Iraq, who awakens to find himself buried alive in a wooden coffin and - armed only with a cigarette lighter and a cell phone - must try to figure a way out. Listen as we talk about the "one man show" movie genre, Holly's fear of snakes, claustr...

Holly earns a Flawless Victory by accepting a challenge to appear in the  Mortal Kombat  (1995), a martial arts tournament held on a secret island, the outcome of which will affect the fate of the entire world! In this colorful adaptation of the popular fighting video game, the god of lighting, Lord Rayden, gathers a disparate group of fighters to battle the forces of evil wizard, Shang...

Sean wonders why the dead won't stay dead in  Cemetery Man  (aka Dellamorte, Dellamore, 1994), an existentialist Italian zombie movie from Dario Argento protege Michele Soavi, which stars Rupert Everett as the beleaguered caretaker of a rural cemetery where the dead return to life. Listen as we talk about zombie boy scouts, severed head romances, odd Italian burial practic...

We wrap up 2017 with our 2nd annual Best and Worst Movies of the year episode. Listen as we go around the table and attempt to distill a very good year in film down to our choices for the 5 best movies and the one we think was the worst. Will your favorite make the cut? Thanks for listening and we hope you enjoy! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Colin considers assault and battery charges against Andrzej Zulawski's  Possession  (1981), which chronicles the apocalyptic implosion of the marriage between Sam Neill and Isabelle Adjani in Cold War-era Germany. While he gets kicked around by her effete German lover and sleeps with her doppelganger on the sly, she has sex with a slimy, tentacled creature that she may have given bi...

Michaela makes the case for Lindsay Lohan's  I Know Who Killed Me  (2007), a 8-time Razzie award winning thriller in which Lohan plays dual roles - as a diligent student and a exotic dancer - one, or both, of whom are targeted by a blue-glove wearing serial killer who has a fondness for torture and amputation. Listen as we try to unravel the film's color-coded plot mechanics, debate Loha...

Holly learns the Way of the Samurai for a  Showdown in Little Tokyo  (1991) which features a potentially epic team up between action superstar Dolph Lundgren and the late Brandon Lee, starring as two renegade cops thrown together to stop the rise of the Japanese Yakuza in Los Angeles' Little Tokyo neighborhood. Their mission escalates into an explosion of bloody mayhem after Lundgren rec...