Santa Mira After Dark: Horror Movie Reviews

The Santa Mira After Dark gang is back (in Santa Mira) to discuss the 1982 cult classic Halloween 3! Where Michael Myers is out and an evil toy maker who wants to sacrifice thousands of children using Halloween masks is in. Where is Michael Myers? And where are the witches? Why is Tom Atkins sucking nips? Why is this terrible doctor bagging every girl in town? We talk about it all in this episode!

The Attempted Topics gang is back to rank the Friday the 13th franchise! How did this franchise even get off the ground with such a terrible first movie? And why are there so many movies without the main antagonist? Does the franchise get better the more over the top it gets? And how exactly will hockey be outlawed by 2024? And is there a rebrand coming for Attempted Topics? *wink* Follow us every...

The gang is back to discuss James Wan's new film Malignant! They break down the bizarre switch in tones throughout the film. Can a film that goes from horror to thriller to action work? They also give their thoughts on the bizarre "twist" in the final act and that epic jail scene at the end. And they talk about how crazy it is for James Wan to go from blockbuster to horror so easily. Follow us eve...

Happy October! The Attempted Topics gang is back to discuss the 2013 Rob Zombie film The Lords of Salem. Jeremy talks about the things he'd do for Rob Zombie to make another film like this and Halloween II (including give birth to the anti christ in front of a group of witches), Steven talks about how the interior of Heidi's apartment cannot fit given the size of it on the outside (House of Leaves...

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Attempted Topics is back to discuss the 2021 film, The Suicide Squad. What do we think about James Gunn being chosen to make The Suicide Squad after being fired from Disney? Why is King Shark so adorable? Can we see John Cena? And what makes this film better than the 2016 version? We discuss it all here! Follow us everywhere! @AttemptedTopics

The Attempted Topics gang is back to discuss the new M. Night Shyamalan film OLD. Does the movie make sense after explaining everything? Is the "twist" good? Are we thinking about it too much? And what happened to M. Night Shyamalan? We discuss it all on this episode.

The gang is back to discuss one of the best Friday the 13th films, Part 3…IN 3D! Why doesn’t this movie let you forget that it’s in 3D? What’s with the biker gang? Why is Shelly’s way of making friends to pull pranks on everyone? Is it really possible to hanky panky in a hammock? And is the hockey mask really Jason’s best look? Put on your red and blue glasses and join us as we discuss it all.

Attempted Topics is back to discuss the original The Town That Dreaded Sundown. Who is the phantom killer? Is Sparkplug guilty? How close is this movie to the real true story? And is Jason Voorhees a rip off of The Phantom Killer ? We talk about it all on this episode! Follow us everywhere! @AttemptedTopics

The Attempted Topics gang is back to discuss the 1983 slasher hit Sleepaway Camp. Does that twist hold up? Why are there so many backstories that don't go anywhere? This camp is already shady and now there's a killer on the loose. Follow us everywhere! @AttemptedTopics

This is the way our brains melt. In episode 28 the Attempted Topics gang discusses Richard Kelly's sophomore effort, Southland Tales. Jeremy finally gets to talk about how this movie has quickly become his favorite movie ever and how Richard Kelly should still be making movies. And he explains if the 3 graphic novels help make this movie easier to understand. Steven gets to experience Southland Ta...

The Attempted Topics gang is back to talk about the "Five Nights at Freddy's" inspired Willy's Wonderland! We welcome back Meatball Punch to the crew after a long absence. Who is the best animatronic? How close is this to Five Nights at Freddy's? Why is Nicolas Cage so good nowadays? And do these animatronics ever stop singing bops? Follow us everywhere @AttemptedTopics

The Attempted Topics gang is back to kick off summer by talking about a movie about spring break... Jeremy gives his thoughts on Harmony Korine and sings along with the cast to Everytime by Britney Spears, and Steven tells us why every good movie should have a good musical montage. They also talk about how cool the ski masks are, how good some of the monologues and montages are, and discuss if eve...

Attempted Topics is getting ready for The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It by discussing the movie that launched a franchise, James Wan's The Conjuring. Jeremy talks about what made The Conjuring 1 and 2 so successful as opposed to the Annabelle and Nun spin offs, Steven talks about his enjoyment of The Annabelle spin offs. And why are these ghost hunters doing chores around the house for this f...

In Episode 24, Attempted Topics prepares for the upcoming Spiral by talking about the film that started it all, Saw. Jeremy gives his theory on what exactly Adam was supposed to do because his instructions were unclear and discusses his first time watching Saw years ago as a child, Steven laughs at Cary Elwes' questionable acting performance, and they give their ranking on the entire Saw franchise...

Attempted Topics is back to discuss the 2020 film The Lodge. ((Spoiler warning)) Jeremy fights through a fever to question why this movie tries so hard to be movies that it's not as good as, and Steven shares his thoughts on purgatory and his hatred for beans. Does the twist ending work? And why do these directors love evil children so much?  Follow us everywhere! @AttemptedTopics Next week we'll...

Attempted Topics is back to discuss the movie with the biggest opening in over a year, Godzilla vs. Kong. Jeremy discusses his thoughts on where the Monsterverse can go from here and talks about how fun this movie is if you shut your brain off. And Steven gives his thoughts on the terrible B plot involving a podcaster and conspiracy theorists. They also give a quick ranking on the Monsterverse fil...

In this episode the Attempted Topics crew discusses the 2021 film Zack Snyder's Justice League that became official because of hashtags and cyberbullying.  Jeremy gives his thoughts on the "Release the Snyder Cut" movement, the major improvement Steppenwolf received in this version of Justice League, and talks about where he hopes the future of DC films will go. Steven talks about his love fo...

THROUGH THE TREES, I WILL FIND YOU. The Attempted Topics gang is back to discuss the underrated 2009 cult gem Jennifer's Body, and they think its a great movie that was way ahead of its time. Jeremy discusses how Megan Fox is an underrated actress with the wrong reputation, and talks about how labeling a film as "woke" is a stupid criticism. And Steven talks about how Jennifer's Body became one of...

The gang is back and they’re preparing for the upcoming Godzilla vs. Kong! Jeremy and Steven talk about their thoughts on the cheesy tone that the old Godzilla films had. Jeremy questions why there had to be an American character thrown in here by the American studio, Steven gives his thoughts on the abuse that King Kong had to endure compared to Godzilla. And why is a tv producer trying to kidnap...

Happy Valentine's Day from Attempted Topics! We know we said we'd discuss King Kong vs. Godzilla next, but we couldn't pass up Valentine's Day without discussing the great 1981 slasher film My Bloody Valentine.  This was Jeremy's first time seeing this film so he gives his first impressions and questions why all of these adults are so excited about a Valentine's Day dance, and Steven gives a...

In episode 16 the Attempted Topics crew discusses the 2017 Blumhouse film Happy Death Day. Jeremy discusses Blumhouse's genius strategy of creating cheap movies that easily make a ton of profit, and how he went from being cautiously optimistic about Happy Death Day to really liking it. And Steven talks about his love for both Happy Death Day and it's sequel, and he confuses the days a lot because...

Attempted Topics is back after a short hiatus and is back to uploading on a consistent schedule. Jeremy and Steven kick off the nightmare-of-a-year 2021 by talking about the 2010 remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street. Jeremy talks about how Freddy Krueger is totally unlikable in the worst way in this remake, and explains how an audience should be able to "like" the villain of a slasher movie. Steven...

It's the holiday season so the Attempted Topics gang wanted to discuss the eye gouging 2006 remake BLACK CHRISTMAS. Jeremy drools over Mary Elizabeth Winstead and gets confused because every girl in this movie seems the same, Steven discusses his love for the 1974 and 2006 Black Christmas films and explains how the ending of this movie could've been better before the studio ruined it, and Shawn do...

The Attempted Topics gang discusses M. Night Shyamalan's most divisive(?) film, The Happening. Jeremy talks about how revisiting this film ruined it for him, while Steven gets a new perspective and sees how there is a good story but it's written and acted terribly. Is it a comedy? Is it plants? Do hot dogs get a bad rap? Why is Mark Wahlberg talking in such a high voice? What happened to M. Night...