Ridiculous Crime

The fictional character Raffles established the public's notion of a gentleman thief. But what of the ladies? Josephine O'Dare and Amélie Condemine took the Raffles playbook and blazed their way through European society, lightening wallets and lifting gems. Whether they only made 72 cents on the dollar compared to male thieves remains unknown.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nic Cage is a mixed bag of nuts. But Patricia Arquette is also no slouch when it comes to being, um, unique. Now imagine the two of them together –– young and in love. Well, you don't have to because it already happened! Zaron has the goods on the Love Quest that she sent him on to prove his. And things, of course, get criminally ridiculous! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Charles Ponzi didn't invent the Ponzi scheme. No, two women pioneered the con on both sides of the Atlantic decades before Ponzi struck. Remember folks, if returns on your investments seem too good to be true, they totally are. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In 2015, a convention descended on the Seattle–Tacoma Airport Hilton Hotel. The 3-day gathering of Furries was meant to be a fun place to let your fur down... but some let the fur go too low. Public nudity, diaper fights, drugs, booze, cops, firefighters, ambulances, emergency plumbers –– this story has everything. And then some!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A guy born in Italy moves to France and says he's the heir to the throne in Constantinople, then he heads to the United States to peddle fake titles. You know what that is? Ridiculous.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Paratrooper Jeff Manchester used his skills to burgle Corporate America as The Roofman. First, he'd focused on McDonalds and other fast food. Then, like a criminal butterfly, he morphed into a Toys 'R' Us Man who built a secret apartment in an open store –– it was the ultimate inside job.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jack Shepherd was a petty, pretty thief. He wasn't very good at it, so he got caught a lot. And he escaped a lot. Just like Henry More Smith. He, too, couldn't stop stealing and couldn't stop freeing himself from prison life. These guys prove that you can't keep a good (well, at least non-violent) man down. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

He is an icon of midcentury America. He's cherubic. He's beloved. He's starred in Hollywood movies. And he's often stolen as a prank, but sometimes things turn darker –– but they always stay ridiculous. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

If you have psychic powers, you should see a scam coming a mile away. Not so for Maria Duval. The French psychic only wanted to use her powers for good, but three shady dealers used her name to create one of the world’s longest-running cons. Just because a letter has a coffee stain on it doesn't mean it's real.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For many folks, beauty pageants feel like part of a bygone era of 'big hair, don't care' femininity. But Zaron is here to set you straight on that score. Beauty pageants are still very much a thing... and they've got crime a-plenty! Allegations of bribery and hijinks! And also, Steve Harvey! So you know it's bound to get loose. This week it's a bubbly bevy of beauty pageant scandals! See omnystudi...

Elizabeth may not watch tv, but that doesn't stop her from regaling Zaron with tales of television signal hijacking. From porn to zombies to aliens to more porn, no broadcast is safe. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In the early '90s, the Chicagoland area was home to a bank robber known for wearing very specific masks –– masks of former US presidents. Notably, he wasn't inspired by the classic bank-robbing surfers film, and Point Break wasn't inspired by him, it was all just a...ridiculous crime. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

With debt mounting and no relief in sight, John Darwin figured his only option was to fake his own death. One sunken kayak and a complicit spouse later, he found himself in Panama with no clothes on. But that didn't last. Nothing ridiculous ever does.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Musicians get arrested... a lot. These singers, songwriters and superstars were busted in some of the dumbest, weirdest, silliest ways possible. Johnny Cash. Amy Winehouse. Ol' Dirty Bastard. Bob Dylan. Frank Zappa. All of them got popped for some... ridiculous crimes. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As if the whole cryptocurrency thing wasn't ridiculous enough, enter Heather Morgan aka Razzlekhan. An entrepreneur and amateur rapper, she and her husband, Dutch, lived large. The source? Hacked bitcoin. Can't get enough of these clowns and their techno criming? Fear not, there are plenty of film and tv adaptations in the works. The grift lives on.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy informa...

"Have you seen this man? Single, lonely, grouchy, rumpled and very possibly. the richest thief who ever lived..." so wrote the Washington Post in 1997 after one man ripped off his employer, the Loomis–Fargo armored car company. Phil Johnson stole 21 cubic feet of cash –– and he had a plan to get away with it. But a man's ego is a helluva thing! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What do hairdressing and bank heists have in common? Precision...and a man named William Smarto. A clever bank burglar, Smarto managed to pull of a bank job almost as big as Dolly Parton's wig budget. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

His hero was DB Cooper. So he imitated his skyjacking ransom down to the letter. Only Martin McNally had never used a parachute before he became a skyjacker. And he never expected someone to play the hero with a '71 Cadillac Eldorado. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As Orson Welles would say, "Ah, the French." Here, in a lead up to the French Revolution, we consider the tale of one randy Cardinal, one social climbing almost-noble, one doomed queen, and one hideous diamond necklace. C'est ridicule (especially Elizabeth butchering all French pronunciation)! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Meet Antoine Yates, the man who raised a tiger in a fifth-floor public housing apartment in Harlem. Until, one day, the tiger remembered that it was a tiger. But Antoine didn't just live with a tiger, he also had a lion and a full-grown alligator. Naturally, this one is both wild...and ridiculous! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Aaron Tonken was celebrity obsessed from a young age, so naturally he made his way to Hollywood. He also made his way into the good graces and wallets of many entertainment icons. With phony or plain chaotic charity galas, Tonken fleeced the rich and famous in one whirlwind fever dream of a conning career. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

An ultra-wealthy British son of a Royal Naval officer partnered with a Danish master of disguise to become major players in the international drug-smuggling scene. And they would've gotten away with it if it weren't for those pesky... Welsh lobstermen and farmers' daughters. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

With a love of robbing banks and the love of a good woman, Forrest Tucker pulled off heists with no violence involved. Plenty of arrests ensued, but so did plenty of prison escapes. He was a man with a life so extraordinary, Robert Redford played him in a movie...that put Zaron to sleep. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

At the end of the 19th century, two outlaws made names for themselves around the world, but over time both have been forgotten. This week, we resurrect the tales of these outlaw folk heroes. Lady outlaws. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

He ran for sheriff, saying he'd take on the mob. Instead, he lined his pockets with their cash. He ran for Congress, saying he'd fight for working Americans. Instead, he had people work for him for free. All the while, James Traficant made a name for himself with his denim suits and a hideous hairpiece. In the words of ol' Jimbo himself, beam me up! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy informat...