Restored: Helping Children of Divorce

Dr. Andrew Swafford came from a dysfunctional family, even though his parents never got divorced. As a result, he questioned: “Can I be a good husband and father? Or am I destined to repeat the cycle of dysfunction?” Thankfully, he overcame those doubts and built a beautiful marriage and family. In this conversation, he shares what helped him to do just that. Plus, we discuss: What is virtue and h...

If your family is broken, you’ve probably felt like our guest today who badly wanted her family to be normal. It’s such a natural desire which goes painfully unsatisfied.  In this raw episode, we discuss: How an affair broke her family apart and how that’s impacted her How we often use excessive drinking to cope with our pain and what to do instead When moving away from your family could be the ri...

If you spoke to your friends the way you spoke to yourself, would those relationships become abusive? The words you tell yourself are often filled with lies, but you might not even realize it. But those lies become your identity, which then dictates the quality and happiness of your life. Thankfully, our guest today can help you beat the lies and discover your real identity. In this episode, we di...

Many young people from broken families struggle to discern their relationships and calling in life because they feel so anxious and uncertain. The trauma of their broken family and the effects that stem from it often interfere with their ability to discern properly.  In this episode, we dive into that and more: Why a lack of peace isn’t an automatic indicator that a relationship or vocation isn’t...

A popular question we receive from young people from broken families is “How do I help my parents and navigate my relationship with them?”  In this episode, we offer advice and answer that question. We discuss: What to do when your parents try to enlist you in their war against each other How to respond if your parents are asking you to make or heavily influence big decisions for them Why you shou...

Music has always been a tool to cope with the pain and problems from my parents’ divorce. Two artists whose music helped me a lot are Jenny and Tyler, a married musical duo. Their music and marriage have especially convinced me that love can last.  In this episode, they share: Lessons they’ve learned after years in marriage that would’ve been helpful to know before they got married.  Encouragement...

For 40 years, Holli searched for help to heal from the trauma of her parents’ divorce, including 30 years of counseling. But nothing worked. She had all but lost hope when she found Restored. She claims this podcast has been more healing than 30 years of counseling. Having struggled with depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts, she also shared how Restored has “literally saved my life.” If you’...

What would you do if you were 12 years old and you accidentally found out that your mom is cheating on your dad? That’s the exact situation that today’s guest faced as a little girl. We discuss how she felt that her mom not only cheated on her dad, but on her and her siblings too. Plus, we get into: The ways in which her mom’s infidelity wounded her How that wound was reopened when two boyfriends...

As a boy, Bart Schuchts thought his family was normal. But in reality, it was very broken. When he was five years old, his dad left after cheating on his mom. He remembers his mom crying herself to sleep at night. Seeing the devastation his dad left, he swore to never be like him.  But in college, his worst fear came true. Sleeping around and using women, he realized: “I am just like my father.” T...

When your parents’ marriage breaks apart, it feels like an earthquake. The most basic foundation, your family, is shaken and shattered. It’s disorienting. It’s traumatic. As a result, we tend to go through life doubting anything can last.  But thankfully, we’re not doomed to skepticism our entire lives. We can heal and feel whole again, like our guest Sandy. In this episode, she shares: How she be...

What did you learn about parenting from your parents that you want to repeat with your kids? What do you not want to repeat? The answers to those questions are extremely valuable in helping you become the best parent you can be. But sadly, most of us don’t dig deep enough. Today, we do by talking about: Our experiences as new parents with babies who haven’t been born yet Our fears about becoming p...

It’s no secret that we’re facing a huge crisis of fatherlessness. So many fathers have physically or emotionally abandoned their children, largely because nobody ever showed them how to be a great dad. This problem is at the root of so many issues in our world. So, what’s the solution? In this episode, Justin Batt from Daddy Saturday offers advice and encouragement to current or future dads on how...

For most people, becoming a parent is beautiful but also scary and intimidating. But that is especially true for people from broken families. Often, we didn’t see a great example of parenthood, so we feel lost and unsure how to do it ourselves. In this episode, we talk parenting with Mike and Alicia Hernon, the parents of 10 kids and leaders of a ministry for parents called The Messy Family Projec...

If you’re from a broken family, you likely struggle extra in your relationship with God. There are so many barriers people like us have to overcome. One barrier is feeling abandoned by God. In this episode, a Catholic priest who is a child of divorce joins us to discuss: How to overcome common barriers people like us face in our spiritual lives What to do if you feel abandoned by God How father an...

As people from broken homes, we fear repeating the dysfunction we experienced in our families. But sometimes, we end up going down that path. Our guest today dealt with that in a very real way.  Years after her parents divorced, she found herself in the exact place she never wanted to be: Going through her own divorce, feeling so broken and empty. But thankfully, her story and her marriage’s story...

Statistically, children of divorce are less likely to attend college. Further, they’re less likely to receive financial support from their parents for college.  To pay for college, most young people apply for government aid by filling out the FAFSA. But if your parents are separated, divorced, or remarried, the process can seem confusing.  Today, we speak with two experts to offer guidance on: How...

You want to go to counseling, but a massive barrier stands in the way: The price.  Therapy is not cheap. So, how are you going to pay for it? We tackle that question and more in this episode: 9 practical tips on how to pay for counseling How much does counseling actually cost? The info and next steps you need to pay for counseling, so you can heal and feel whole again Find a counselor Shownotes

As a psychologist, author, and speaker, Dr. Bob Schuchts has dedicated his life to helping people heal their brokenness.  In this episode, he offers his expertise on healing, but he doesn’t stop there. He also shares how his parents’ broken marriage deeply affected him. It took years, but he did find healing - for himself and even his family. We delve into that and more: The anatomy of a wound How...

When our families break apart, most of us feel homeless. We lose our sense of safety and belonging. As a result, we go through life looking for the family we never had.  In this episode, Malcolm touches on those points while sharing his story. We also discuss: His struggles in his relationship with his parents How he’s healed his relationship with his dad The undeniable truth that hurt people hurt...

What is trauma? How does it affect a person? Today, licensed trauma therapist Margaret Vasquez answers those questions and more: Why your parents' divorce, separation, or broken marriage can be so traumatic The antidote to trauma, which will surprise you How trauma therapy works, why it is so effective, and the incredible result she's seen Buy the book: More Than Words: The Freedom to Th...

Most people from broken homes struggle with boundaries. Usually, we were never taught how to set and enforce proper boundaries within our families. We’ve seen this again and again.  Why is that damaging? Because you can’t have healthy relationships without proper boundaries. Period. In this episode, we cover: What are boundaries? The four types of boundary problems Six of the ten laws of boundarie...

Emily knew her parents might divorce, but nothing could’ve prepared her for it. It made her feel alone. It made her feel like nobody understood. Feeling insecure, she sought security by trying to control things, especially her relationships. In this episode, Emily shares her story and more: How she kicked healing down the road since she knew it would be painful The #1 thing that has helped her hea...

We know. “Best” and “2020” don’t belong in the same sentence… what a year.  To celebrate the good, here are 10 of the best highlights from the Restored Podcast in 2020. Donate to Restored: https://restoredministry.com/donate Shownotes | RestoredMinistry.com/34

Is divorce damaging for the children? There’s a lot of misinformation around that question.  In this episode, we dispel the myths by breaking down a study. That study summarizes the results of 67 studies about children of divorce. Don’t worry, we make it simple. By listening, you’ll hear: The insane number of children of divorce in the world (hint: It is mindblowing) Statistics and talking points...

The holidays are especially challenging for anyone with separated or divorced parents. So many of us dread this time of the year. We often feel alone and uncertain of how to deal with it all. To offer practical guidance, some of our audience submitted voice memos to answer this question: What’s one tip you’d give to teens or young adults from divorced or separated families on navigating the holida...