Repeat or Delete

The day we have all been waiting for has finally arrived! Yes, that's right, the first annual Castaway Booze Tournament is in full effect. Who will win, who will lose and who will get very drunk and make an idiot of themselves. We also get a good bit of info on island life, how they all keep clean and a great bit of toilet fun.

There is no homebrew contest this week because the usual amount of chaos has once again descended onto the island. Its Bens birthday and Col and the lads try to explode him, there's deer based moral conundrums and the islanders welcome another among them. On a full moon. Also, be sure to eat your calcium kids!

A sense of calm has descended on our castaways this week as the most exciting thing that's happening is a homebrew contest. That's it. There's also talk of illicit trysts, job descriptions, kitchen related hijinks, a weird Through the Keyhole game and the Children in Need song what they done.

Its visitors week on Taransay and everyone has visitors come to stay a while. There's talk of toilet etiquette, Poly Tunnel Tours and actual pig murder. There's some bittersweet moments too as we have more people leaving the island, some of them more well known to us then others.

Another week on the lovely island of Taransay sees yet more Castaways leaving as well as horse and her wobbly child. Yes, despite all his previous tantrums and that, Ron finally agrees to leave much to the delight of everyone else on the island. There's unpaid vets bills, vets cutting of bits and other stuff that doesn't even have a vet in it! Planty & John are walking 25 miles in one day for...

Trigger Warning : This Episode deals with issues of homophobia, racism and domestic violence. If this may be in anyway upsetting to you, please skip and we will see you down the road. Things are coming to a head on the island with everybody annoyed at everyone else for reasons both real and imagined. We get dog death, kitchen yelling and Peter getting a telling off. There's Dodgy bands, dirty bath...

Ahoy there! Yes we are still doing Castaway 2000 and yes, it is getting better. While Ray may have left the island in disgrace, his tarnished legacy lives in in the burning of a wicker man that causes concern. There is also exciting horse news, a trip to the mainland and a lot of door slamming. Also Uncle Planty reads us a horrific story about pipes, welks and sheep. So just be aware. Planty &...

It is with a sad heart and a damaged liver we say goodbye to the first castaway to leave the island of their own volition. But do not be too downhearted dear listener because the rest of them now have pigs, paint and a mirror called Jolene. We get more Tales from Grandpa Planty, Lofty facts are still very water based and there's a lovely poem to see us out. Planty & John are walking 25 miles i...

Patience is running thin on the island, with Ray abandoning his meatballs, the school being to moist for humans and Ben lying about his beard growing abilities. Yes we are back with episode 7 of Castaway 2000, the only show that has weather as a featured guest. We also get introduced to Storytime with Planty Planty & John are walking 25 miles in one day for Teesside Hospice in the memory of li...

Castaway 2000 continues with the aftermath of Rays drunken outburst, Peter gets on everyone's nerves with aggressive minute keeping and animals arrive on the island. Cows, sheep and a pony to be exact and lets see how long they last. The housing pods are nearly finished, the doctors are inbound and Ron is threatening children with a fun time. Its getting really good. Planty & John are walking...

We're still on our Castaway 2000 jaunt and now near enough everyone is on the island, ready to go. Except the Doctors family, Ron and some others who are stuck in a haunted Toby Carvery for some reason. Ray continues to slide into drunken madness, we get the first of the Video Diaries and tensions are running high over minor squabbles. The islanders also celebrate Burns Night and tempers spill ove...

Thank you for joining us once again as we struggle on through Castaway 2000 with Episode 4 where both groups of chosen get together for the first time and immediately fall out over contracts and beard assignment. But they're all on the island now. Right? Right?! Planty & John are walking 25 miles in one day for Teesside Hospice in the memory of listener James Allen If you can spare a few quid...

We plod ever onwards with our misguided attempt at doing something new with episode 3 of Castaway. We are introduced to "The Other Group" of miscreants and ne'er do wells who are competing for a space on the Scottish island of Taransay with the rest of them. You'll get Lofty wisdom (and Lofty Facts!), the worst assault course ever, mans conquest of fire and we find out the cracks are already begin...

Things are heating up this week as our intrepid would-be wilderness survivors must learn to operate tarpaulin, kill a chicken and fight each other (not to the death sadly) King Lofty spins his unique wisdom while contemplating becoming a king of the frontier and badger causes mild chaos. We also find out who has been successful in their application, who has not and what they would bring to the isl...

This week and over the coming weeks we are going to take you through the rightfully forgotten BBC reality survival show Castaway 2000 for no other reason then we really love it apparently. That's right, for the next few weeks/months/until we get tired and forget you're going to hear all about a show that is a quarter of a century old. But don't let that put you off, this is some the absolute best...

Come fly with me, lets fly, lets fly away. But please do remember to bring an in date passport yeah? We're back to maximum strength this week as we take you through the "best" of the late '90s fly on the wall shows, the mighty Airline. While most of the show is people angry that they aren't allowed onto actual planes without legitimate documents there are also genuine nuggets of gold in there and...

James is away this week so Planty and Joe are left to their own devices and choose to take you through the short lived and incredibly confusing "quiz" show Shafted! hosted by everyone's favourite whammer Robert Kilroy-Silk. Its a bewildering game where nobody seems to know what's going on and cant really be bothered to make an effort. No wonder it only ran for 4 episodes eh? Normal service will re...

Happy New Year! We are back on our reality TV nonsense this week with a delightful episode of Don't Tell the Bride where idiot men are given money to plan horrible weddings for the supposed love of their lives. In this episode a man who's whole personality is Army and Carling plans a WW2 themed wedding for his fiancé who is a.....beautician? Yes us neither. Find out about wooden planes, drunken bu...

We got into the sweet sherry a bit early this year so here's our slightly tipsy review of the new Netflix nonsense The Merry Gentlemen, the classic Christmas story of taking your top off to save a witches music venue. You'll hear all about improbable career roles, impractical short term goals to raise money and Joe gets weirdly obsessed with nobs. We were a little bit drunk when we recorded this (...

Yeah, we know everyone else is reviewing it but in the words of the late, great Dolores O'Riordan "everyone else is doing it, so why cant we"?

This week we dip our toe back in to the slime filled Gordon swimming pool as we take you through a Cher-Tastic episode of Hotel Hell. It's Kitchen Nightmares but with a lot more semen apparently. You'll find out about plastic plaster, the least successful hotel coup in existence and what you should always have for breakfast.

Awooga! This week to complete our Craig Charles triangle were taking you through the much loved cyborg gladiator nonsense that is Robot Wars (season 9 episode 2) purely for a reason that becomes apparent. If you are not familiar with the concept, teams of nerds, mechanical wizards and for some reason children build and then battle huge armoured robots in an arena that has spikes and fire and that....

As its the scary season we thought we would bring you a terrifying moment from our childhoods in the shape of the 1992 absolute masterpiece Ghostwatch with Parkie and Lister and Greeny and the other bloke. Broadcast as a live ghost hunt on actual Halloween night, this is tale of duplicity, horror and wanking in the high backed chair at a reasonably price hotel chain. Happy Halloween yeah

Welcome stranger! This week as part of our "people with stuff on their head failing basic tasks" series we bring you a classic episode of the fondly remembered and rightly so kids show Knightmare. A simple premise of youths guiding their behelmeted friend through a sort of non union D&D dungeon to win a prize or most likely die by falling off a ledge. Its honestly brilliant. You can hear all a...

Shut up Cyber Phil! This week we take you back to 1993 then Virtual Reality was the future and you could legitimately make a gameshow based on that alone. We are of course talking about Cyberzone the short lived but fondly remembered Craig Charles technology based "Adventure" game where the rules don't matter and the points matter even less. You will hear all about fringed jackets, pointless Wii g...