Relationships Made Easy

Hello. My name is Abby, and I hate to ask for help. Despite all my years of therapy and teaching others how important it is, asking for help is still something I find difficult to do and I know I’m not alone! Today, I’ll be sharing the reasons why it’s hard to ask for help, the research behind the benefits of doing it and my top three tips for becoming someone who asks and receives.  _____________...

The short answer is “yes,” but the real question is, “When should I listen to my relationship doubts and when should I ignore them?” Whether you’re deciding to move in together and having doubts, or you’ve been together for ten years and wondering if it’s time to go your separate ways, relationship doubts can crop up at any point in a relationship. So how do you separate normal doubts from an inne...

You’ve tried to draw a boundary with your partner, boss or best friend, but they call you selfish, self-absorbed or even narcissistic! How could dare you prioritize yourself over what they want? In my new book, Boundaries Made Easy (which is dropping in just a couple of weeks on 12/5/23), I dispel the myth that holding a boundary is selfish and explain what healthy selfishness is all about. Today,...

Your current partner is friends with one or more of their past partners or hookups, and you don’t like it. You’ve told them you’re uncomfortable, but they say they’re just friends and you’re overreacting. Does it mean you have to break up? Should you push the issue or just grin and bear it? Today, we’ll be talking about the real reason you’re upset and what you can do about it.  __________________...

How do you not let your family drive you crazy this holiday season? Boundaries. How can you find peace even though there’s so much going on during November and December? Boundaries. How can you enter the new year feeling refreshed and energized? Boundaries once again! If you’re looking for ease and joy this holiday season, I can help you get there, and there’s only one thing you need to focus on (...

Have you been thinking it’s time to call it quits in your relationship, but maybe you’re wondering if you’re quitting too soon or wanting to leave for the wrong reasons? It can be hard to know when a relationship “should be” over. Today I’ll be sharing the top five signs that a relationship might be over.  ____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-do-you-kn...

Defense mechanisms are your brain’s (mostly unconscious) way of avoiding conflict, anxiety or upset. Although they get a bad rap, defense mechanisms are a necessary part of your psychology, and some are even considered healthy! Today, you’ll gain some self-awareness as you learn all about defense mechanisms and where you fit.  ____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedc...

Do you have that person in your life who, no matter what you do, you can’t seem to get through to them or get them to listen or engage in a healthy conversation about issues you’re experiencing in the relationship? You try to say how you’re feeling, but they flip it back on you and say, “What about my feelings?!” You get sad, but they get even more sad that you’re upset and now you’re taking care...

Positive communication is communication that’s based on respect and builds trust and collaboration. Although it’s something that’s mostly been applied to the workplace, its goal is to build a psychologically safe space, and that’s something we can use in all our relationships. In fact, the research shows that positive communication doesn’t just benefit the other person, it also promotes health and...

If you’re listening to me right now, you’ve felt some kind of decline in your relationship or, as the song goes, “you’ve lost that loving feeling.” Or maybe you just want to make sure that decline never happens to you. Either way, it’s important to know that you can absolutely continue to have a strong physical connection and fall more in love with your partner as the years progress. But how do yo...

Did you know that the opposite of patience isn’t impatience? I’ve got to tell you that I didn’t know that until I started researching this episode. Patience is actually on a continuum, with too much or too little, on either side of the spectrum, being unhealthy. The sweet spot is somewhere right in the middle. Having patience is correlated with all kinds of good stuff: the ability to work collabor...

Dialectical Behavior Therapy, or DBT, is a type of cognitive-behavioral therapy created by psychologist Marsha Linehan in the early 1980s. It’s an evidence-based, highly successful type of therapy used to help people regulate intense emotions and improve their relationships. What does this have to do with problem-solving? Well, in all its brilliance, DBT outlines four ways to solve any problem and...

OK, when I hear the words self-love, I want to throw up in my mouth a little because I’m thinking of some Brené Brown quote needlepointed onto a pillow or a bunch of people in a drum circle chanting “I am worthy.” Today we’re taking self-love out of the woo and putting it directly into the real world of improving your physical, psychological, and spiritual well-being. Stay tuned as I discuss how i...

We know from the research that having intimate relationships is the key to mental and physical health. But what exactly qualifies as intimacy? Today I’ll teach you what intimacy really is and the seven habits of intimate relationships, backed by research, so you can build connection, joy, and ease in all your relationships. ____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf...

We know from the research that the biggest predictor of a happy (and long!) life comes down to the quality of your relationships. And, as much as we all want to focus on romance, there are many important relationships in your life that deserve your intention and attention. Today, I’m going to teach you the five philosophies to focus on to create fulfillment, peace, and joy in all your relationship...

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Great relationships aren’t built in a day. Great relationships are built daily. While date nights and vacations are wonderful, either we don’t do those often enough to keep emotional intimacy going, or there’s so much pressure to have fun and connect they can do the opposite. What’s the answer? Instead of focusing on date nights, focus on daily micro-con...

Love bombing gets a lot of attention and is usually discussed alongside narcissism or when we discuss trauma bonding. But what I’ve seen more often in my over 35 years of experience is something I call Attention Flooding, which can look like love bombing, but its origins are actually from codependency and feelings of low self-worth. Today I’m teaching you the difference between love bombing and At...

Whether you identify as a Millennial, Gen X, or even Gen Z, the quarter-life crisis can have you feeling stuck in work and love. In today’s bonus episode, I’m speaking with expert and author Tess Brigham. You’ll learn why the quarter-life crisis is a real thing and her four-step method for finding your groove. ____________________________ Show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/conquering-your-quarter...

Today I’m celebrating the 250th episode of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast, and I’m closing out our fifth season with some big love! Today you’re going to learn one of the foundations of a happy, fulfilled life rich with confidence, connection, and ease: resilience. The good news is that resilience is a skill you can learn, and people in resilient relationships report more ease, satisfaction,...

You’ve tried being easy-going and flexible, and you’ve tried being clear and firm, but nothing has worked when it comes to co-parenting with your ex, and I can tell you why: You’re trying to do the impossible. If your ex is narcissistic, abusive, controlling, rageful, or in some other way toxic, your efforts at any reasonable co-parenting will be thwarted. But you don’t need to give up because the...

When you’re single, you get to make 100% of your decisions, from what color you paint your bedroom to how much you spend on eating out every week. But if you want to make a long-term, committed relationship work, the majority of your decisions now need to be shared because just about every decision you make affects your partner. The problem is that decision-making in a couple often boils down to a...

Last week I taught how to deal with a loved one with ADHD. You learned what exactly ADHD is and how it’s diagnosed, what causes it, and my 12 steps to finding connection and peace if your partner has ADHD. Today I’ll talk about the top five problems you’ll likely face at work (whether that’s at home or in an office) if you have ADHD and my top tools to deal with each.   ___________________________...

Your partner said they’d be home by 6:00 but showed up at 8:30 because they got caught up in something and lost track of the time (again). Your partner zoned out (yet again) during an important conversation, and you’re left feeling unloved and unimportant. Your partner promised to figure out vacation plans but now says you never even had that conversation, and they never promised anything! You lov...

Why do we want to date people who are bad for us? Why do we get into relationships with people that bring out our worst, most unhealthy selves? Today I’m teaching you the top four reasons why you chase toxic relationships and unavailable partners and three tips to help you stop.  ____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-people-chase-toxic-relationships-and...

Ahhh, that annoying (I mean difficult) coworker. You know the one… they get under your skin every time you interact with them. Today I’m going to teach you the top seven difficult types of coworkers and my effective tools to deal with each one. It’s time to move from frustrated and stuck to more connected and collaborative.  ____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcal...