Relationscapes: Exploring How We Relate, Love, and Belong

Who would choose to bring children into today’s world? Between climate change, economic strain, political conflict, and growing uncertainty about the future, more people today say they feel uncertain about parenthood, especially progressive people. Philosophers Anastasia Berg and Rachel Wiseman—authors of What Are Children For? —explore the personal, political, and philosophical stakes of having k...

Fatphobia is everywhere. It affects how we judge ourselves and each other. In this episode, philosopher Kate Manne exposes the social, ethical, and health-based consequences of anti-fat bias. Drawing on personal experience and sharp cultural analysis, Manne challenges dieting myths, weight-loss fads, and societal pressure to be thin. She invites us to practice “body reflexivity,” the radical idea...

Like a lot of American women, Aubrey Hirsch grew up trying to channel her own rage into other emotions. Maybe she wasn't mad, she was really jealous. Maybe she wasn't pissed off, she was actually sad. Eventually, Aubrey realized she had been suppressing something vital. Sometimes being angry is the main thing she should be. Instead of always running from her outrage, now she channels it into infor...

Are men “naturally” violent? Are they hardwired to provide and protect? Does their DNA demand they stray? These questions persist in debates about masculinity, but they’re often answered with lazy biology. In this episode, anthropologist Matthew Gutmann dismantles biologically grounded gender essentialist myths. Drawing on decades of research—from fatherhood in Mexico to gender shifts in China—Gut...

What does it mean to parent in a world that wasn’t built for you? Writer and disabled parent Eliza Hull joins us to talk about her groundbreaking anthology We’ve Got This: Essays by Disabled Parents. These essays challenge ableist assumptions, confront stigma, and spotlight the resilience and pride of disabled parents. Their stories aren't about about pity or inspirational “overcoming”—they are ab...

Happy 50th Episode! To celebrate, I invited Lauren Passell, a podcast hero of mine, to revisit a Relationscapes episode she recommended on her excellent Podcast The Newsletter . As a newly adoptive white mom of a child who is Black, Lauren was thrilled about Angela Tucker's interview .  Tucker is an incredible advocate for transracial adoptees.  Lauren opens up about the joys and challenges of rai...

For decades, public schools have been a cornerstone of American learning and civic life. But far-right groups have worked for years to turn these institutions into battlegrounds, pushing to control curricula, ban books, and restrict the rights of marginalized students, while whitewashing history and steamrolling over accessibility. The battle is reaching fever pitch today.  In her book School Moms...

When Anne Pinkerton's brother unexpectedly died alone in an extreme sport accident, she faced the same question over and over. People would always ask, "Were You Close?" They asked out of concern, but the question felt almost impossible to answer. In some ways, Anne and her brother David weren't close—they lived in different states, he was more than a decade older. But that distance seemed beside...

What if the image the world loves you for is the one that’s destroying you? In her memoir Fetishized , Kaila Yu deconstructs "yellow fever," exploring how pop culture and Western beauty ideals shaped damaging stereotypes about Asian women—and how she once embodied them herself. After spending years in the pinup and import modeling world, auditioning for film roles steeped in dehumanizing tropes, t...

In this candid and funny conversation, artist and author Mary Catherine Starr talks about her viral comics on motherhood, marriage, mental load, and more. From the story of the infamous peanut butter jar to the deeper patterns of household inequality, Starr explores how social expectations, internalized roles, and everyday choices shape parenting partnerships. Through humor and heartfelt honesty,...

Most people who experience the death of a parent come to understand that grief isn’t something you get over—it's something you try to learn how to live with. That's what author Maddie Norris discovered after losing her dad at seventeen. Instead of looking away from the pain, she studied it—through the lens of her father's own work as a medical researcher on the science of wounds.  Maddie joins us...

About 11 million kids serve as their family's interpreter in the US today. In this episode, Olivia Abtahi joins Relationscapes to talk about her beautiful new picture book celebrating these kids: The Interpreter , inspired by the lives of real kids navigating bureaucracies, burnout, and belonging. We talk about how adults can better support children in this role and what it means to write a book t...

Some family stories are proudly passed down. Others are buried under layers of silence, fear, and cultural taboo. After immigrating to the United States, author Ingrid Rojas Contreras kept quiet about her Colombian family’s history of curanderismo—a lineage of mystical healers, visions, and spiritual powers. But after a traumatic head injury triggered amnesia, those buried stories vanished entirel...

Masculinity is having yet another moment—from TikTok alphas and tech bros up through the rise of the manosphere. It's because when society feels unstable, many people try to get back to basics. The problem is, those “basics” are a bunch of rigid, outdated masculinity norms—norms that helped create the very problems we're facing right now. In this episode, we dig into the research with psychologist...

W hat if the place that made you feel most alive became the site of your deepest grief? Brandon Wolf grew up multiracial and queer in a small Oregon city, where fitting in felt impossible. Years later, he survived the Pulse nightclub shooting—an event that shattered his world and ignited a lifelong pursuit of justice. In this powerful episode, Brandon opens up about internalized racism, survivor’s...

KB Brookins was struggling to know who they really were. And even though their quest for authenticity felt isolating, it couldn't happen in complete isolation. It took seeing someone else living more freely for KB to imagine new and better possibilities. That’s the paradox at the heart of becoming ourselves: We can’t do it alone. KB is a Black, queer, trans writer and visual artist from Texas. The...

One of the most consequential moments in American civil rights history has been almost entirely forgotten. It was 1978. Conservative politicians wanted to ban gays and lesbians from working in California public schools. The outcome of that statewide initiative would have huge repercussions for the rest of the country, and young gay activists knew it. The battle was on. And although it's been almos...

The top reason most news coverage about trans people is misleading and harmful is because journalists don't include the perspectives of actual trans people. Journalist Nico Lang was frustrated by how often reports talked about trans people without trans people. This is especially true for younger folks.  Nico wants people to hear directly from trans teenagers. So for their groundbreaking new book,...

Before becoming disabled, Jessica Slice was building a business, running miles every day, and chasing perfection. Parenthood didn’t fit into that life, especially because Jessica was sure she’d never measure up. But when her physical health collapsed at 28, everything shifted. Disability stripped away the life she knew, and uncovered something unexpected—she wouldn't have to be perfect to be a mom...

When journalist Amanda Hess got pregnant, the internet met the moment with a flood of baby ads, influencer moms, and algorithmically curated advice. But when her pregnancy became medically complicated, the warm glow of digital support gave way to something much darker. In her new book Second Life: Having a Child in the Digital Age, Hess explores how the internet can warp our most intimate life exp...

When marriage equality was finally achieved, Karl Dunn thought life couldn't be better. He had a husband, a dream job, and a beautiful life in LA. But then, as everything unraveled through a contentious divorce, Karl discovered just how unequally the system treats same-sex couples. This crisis sent Karl on an urgent journey of self-rediscovery—from heartbreak in LA to healing in Berlin and beyond....

Katelyn Burns, journalist and podcast host of Cancel Me, Daddy. Katelyn was the first openly transgender Capitol Hill reporter in U.S. history and she continues to be a leading voice among journalists on trans issues. It’s not the cushiest job there ever was, especially right now. I wondered how she was holding up under our excessively transphobic regime.   SHOW NOTES Cancel Me, Daddy podcast Kate...

Frederick Joseph grew up without a father, and he's wondering now whether he wants to be one himself. As a child, he loved Broadway musicals when everyone else expected him to be into sports. Today he resists the suffocating expectations placed on him as a Black man in America through his poetry and essays, inviting men to break the mold of masculinity and embrace the full range of human emotions—...

Puberty has changed a lot since we were kids. It starts earlier and lasts longer. And it's still as awkward as ever to talk about. Luckily, Dr. Cara Natterson and educator Vanessa Kroll Bennett are here to help. They joined forces to explain the latest science on puberty, and to help caregivers, parents, and teachers navigate puberty conversations with confidence, humor, and connection. Their book...

Staying up to date with the news is a huge part of David Pakman’s job. As one of the most popular progressive political pundits on the internet today, he’s spent years navigating the media landscape. And that can really wear a person down! He's not immune to burnout caused by local and global crises covered in today's nonstop news cycles. In this mini episode, Pakman confesses his own exasperation...