Rating Descending

French cultcha, stunt double armies, and Brian Wilson’s favourite film. This week Abigail and Michelle watched another Eddie Murphy film so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films egotistical lead, blatant fatphobia, and clear misogyny

Family burps, hand sex, and wild-eyed confederate vampires. This week Michelle, Abigail, and Gaden Sousa (!) watched the Avatar film adaptation so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films whitewashed cast, amateur- looking direction, and lacklustre bending

Chub-o-metres, sucking taint, and serious virgin energy. This week Abigail and Michelle watched this “satirical” film so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films shitty director, strip scenes, and attempts at a political statement

Broth ‘n’ fixings, Mould Man, and little Sand’gelica. This week Michelle and Abigail watched another fuckin’ post 2010 horror film. They take a quick dive into the films decent cast, unintelligible plot, and lack of spookies

Dying babies, merry cocks, and Robo-Santas. This bonus episode Abigail and Michelle watched the whole damn Santa Clause series so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films leading man, bizarre plot choices, and array of mythological creatures

Filthy smut writers, sexy contracts, and my inner goddess. This week Abigail and Michelle watched the 'erotic romance' that started it all so you don't have to. They take a quick dive into the film's strange author demands, comparisons to the book, and perhaps a few tangents

Flickering ultrasounds, supermarket meat, and glowing red babies. This week Michelle and Abigail watched yet another f**nd f****ge horror so you don't have to. They take a quick dive into Radio Silence, local horror, and yet more Eli Roth.

Puns, ethnic caricatures, and sweet flips. This week Abigail and Michelle watched this animated catastrophe so you don't have to. They take a quick dive in the the films troubled production, vomit-inducing visuals, and what happened to Enes Batur "Local Forecast - Elevator" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecom...

CGI hawks, voldemorting out, and baby-faced Khans. This week Michelle and Abigail watched this Bollywood epic so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films leading man, song and dance, and hammy moments

Mythical pubussies, troll fights, and not enough eggs. This week Abigail and Michelle watched the Artemis Fowl adaption so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films source material, famous director, and 19 year production hell

No emoting, cowboy demands, and stanning Kane Hodder. This week Michelle and Abigail watched ANOTHER Jason film so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films camp moments, new characters, and the it’s chaotic production

Plastic beakers, Mojo Priest, and Putin pals. This week Abigail and Michelle watched the 1998 film The Patriot so you don’t have to. They take a big dive into Steven Seagal’s hobbies, eccentricities, crimes, and straight up lies

Snake eyes, Sugar Ray knockoffs, and Bill Paxton giving 0%. This week Michelle and Abigail watched the 2004 Thunderbirds adaptation so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films transatlantic cast, the original series, and the overall ugliness of it

Goo ratios, cracking spines, and jort boy memorials. This week Michelle and Abigail are back with the final Twilight bonus episode! They take a lengthy excavation into the films differences, their more gruesome moments, and the whole fuckin’ Renesmee/Jacob debacle

Resurrection technology, Military art departments, and Squid Got Slimed! This week Abigail and Michelle watched this Van-Damme sequel so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films rock soundtrack, Louisiana accents, and made-for-tv energy

Crustacean periods, typographic hags, and our first on-air vom. This week Michelle and Abigail watched this Ray Bradbury adaption so you don’t have to! They take a quick dive into films production issues, flimsy CGI, and abundance of plot holes

Hot chippie rants, sucking in piss, and churning butter, baby! This week Abigail and Michelle watched this pre-2010’s (!!!) horror film so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films atmosphere, notable cast members, and sick final fight scene

Trivia gremlins, cool sons, and balderdash lore. This week Michelle and Abigail watched the Are We There Yet? sequel so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the leading man, empty premise, and it’s more wholesome moments

Lightning whips, pollen blizzards, and the War of Getting Ripped. This week Abigail and Michelle watched this sword-and-sandals epic so you don’t have to. They talk about the film’s wild action, dense plot, and Scott Adkins’ godly bod.

Guillotining candy kings, getting betwixt it, and Borat being funny again. This week Michelle and Abigail watched this Turkish comedy sequel so you don’t have to. They take quick dive into the films origins, leading character, and sporadic funny moments

Bubbling milk, disproving the moon landing, and four-digit box office returns. This week Abigail and Michelle watched ANOTHER boring found footage film so you don’t have to. They basically ignore this movie and instead take a quick dive into Top Gun Maverick, Stranger Things, and Love on The Spectrum U.S.

Bozos, boring philosophy, and Abby’s Bad Takes. This week Michelle and Abigail watched this atrocious 2012 horror film so you don’t have to. They take a quick dive into the films boring plot, snail-like pace, and eye-rolling premise

Bridesmaid pitches, little queer girl culture, and our favourite warrior - Jane Austen. This week Abigail and Michelle watched this 2018 adaptation so you don’t have to. They touch on the film's source material, wholesome message, and astounding cast

Big Guns, Big Boobs, and Bruce Willis. This week Michelle and Abigail watched the 2015 action flick Vice so you don't have to. They take a quick dive into the film's sloppy premise, connections to sex scandals, and Resorts vs. Timezones

Segue shackles, Achilles vagina, and our final Spookums in Maypril: the Arena Showdown. This week Abigail and Michelle watched the 2015 film The Gallows so you have to. They take a quick dive into the films bland characters, intolerable pace, and silly plot twist