raising the curtins

Sleep deprivation is hands down the worst part of having a newborn. Close second might be breastfeeding. Sure, despite the 50 things I basically LOVE about breastfeeding, it does literally and figuratively suck. You are tied to the baby because of your boobs. You can’t really go anywhere and I personally feel like a food source vs. a human during the first month or so.  Nursing compounds the sleep...

My Facebook feed is flooded with fights right now. The virus, racial inequalities, politics. It’s a never ending spiral of dissenting opinions and arguments. 2020 has been the year for opposing views…a royal shit show that doesn’t appear to be getting better any time soon. Like everyone, I have my opinions and certain views on most of these topics. But, I very rarely comment on anything for two re...

Apologies out the gate if this post is a little haphazard and seems like it was written by a sleep-deprived, walking milk truck who can’t remember anything unless it’s written down on a piece of paper. The post may seem less coherent than my others but I wanted to write down Evie’s birth story soon before all the details get lost in this brain of mine and I forget the pain, guilt, and sheer joy/lo...

The age gap between my kids is pretty significant and for the most part, 100% intentional. Four and a half years separates Scarlett from Gianna. Baby girl #3, who is due in June, will be almost 9 years younger than Scarlett. I intentionally waited to try for another baby. I’ve talked about those reasons before. So now, here I am essentially starting all over again when my oldest is 13. One big thi...

Being grateful actually makes you MORE HAPPY than getting more money or buying a sweet ass car or dream home. Our brains tell us this isn’t true, but the science backs it up. My brain is one of them. Honestly, I think I would be 100 times more happy if I had a bigger house vs if I expressed gratefulness about things every day…but the research doesn’t back it up. And, if I really think about it, on...

I talk about positivity and how I am focused on living my life with that type of mindset. However, I am human. I am a pregnant human with hormones and indigestion. I have 2 strong willed daughters who are adjusting to this new normal. I’m married to a man who gets joy out of being a complete dick sometimes. So, while I constantly try to live with a positive mindset, I definitely have my moments of...

I forgot how much being pregnant sucks. 32 weeks in and I’m f*cking done. I want my body back. I want to be able to see all my parts without tucking my belly in and stretching my neck out like a damn giraffe. I want to be able to bend down without grunting like an 80 year old man. I want to eat what I want to eat and not worry about another human when I do. Which brings me to diabetes, and the fac...

I’ve dealt with Santa and actually somewhat enjoyed the magic he brings to the season, however, I’ve never, EVER been a fan of the Easter Bunny. He’s creepy, slutty, and serves no purpose except to kill the magic of Christmas. At least that’s what he does in my house.

It’s insane how quickly the world can change. At first, I downplayed it all. I mean, we’ve had Zika, the swine flu, Ebola, and other scares that seemed so similar to this. I wasn’t concerned. But then, the panic from society and the government reactions started rolling in and shit got real. I see the seriousness now, and only because of how everyone else is dealing with this virus. Not because of...

I’m worrying about what life will look like a few short months from now when this baby is born. Looking around and analyzing everything I do on daily basis and seeing it through the lens of how it will feel when the baby comes. And I’m realizing that too many things in my house rely on me to stay alive. It’s overwhelming me right now.

My family has a history of mental illness. I spent a good part of my life waiting to see if I would also be afflicted with something. Now that I have kids, I am still waiting. Waiting to see if I’ve passed that gene along to them.

I need to teach my kids about money. Not that a quarter equals 25 cents That’s covered in school. But they never learn money’s true value, it’s importance, how to earn it, save it, give it. Our school system fails them miserably in this regard. So most kids grow up learning all about isosceles triangles and chlorophyll, but not how to manage money.

Gianna’s 13th birthday is nearing. Along with the internal struggle of dealing with the fact that my baby will be a teenager in a couple weeks, I am also overloaded with the self-induced stress of putting together the epic creation known in our house as “The Birthday Book”.

Since the holiday of love is near, I decided it’s a good time to share my love story. I see a lot of blogs that have a section dedicated to how they met, fell in love, and eventually got married to their significant other. All the romance and the joy. Well, my story has that. But it’s also real. It’s painful and confusing and 20 years in the making. Our love story made me cross lines I swore I’d n...

Recently, I wrote a post on Facebook to share my short story about my 12 year old daughter having her butt touched by a boy at school. After sharing this post on a few FB pages, the backlash began. It escalated to personal attacks on my character and my husband Vince. It resulted in the county sheriff’s site being tagged and the police showing up on my doorstep to check on the welfare of my childr...

Parenting is hard. Recently, my 12 year old daughter was sexually harassed at school and I wasn’t prepared for how to handle it. This is how I dealt with the situation.

I really thought I was having a boy. When we learned it was another girl, I had to adjust my emotions. While I am excited for this little girl, there’s still an undefinable feeling of loss for the boy that will never be.

I’ve always been a spiritual person in that I’ve always believed in God. I didn’t always like him, mind you. I was angry for awhile. Regardless of my emotions, I always believed in something more. But exactly what that something more was, wasn’t always clear. So much gets hammered into your brain when you’re a kid. So many rules and beliefs that you take for face value because that’s what you’ve b...

My original plan had been to break society’s rules and not have my kids believe in Santa. It didn’t feel right in my heart creating all the lies that surround the “magic.” Sure, a part of me felt a little sad that they wouldn’t have the joy and wonder, but I just couldn’t shake the feeling that it was wrong to start off my child’s life with an unnecessary lie.

It’s hard to choose a baby name when you already have 2 kids and a list of rules you like to follow when selecting just the right one. This episode covers off on my 5 standard set of criteria for selecting a name along with 1 extra rule if the name is for a boy. I will, of course, also go off on a few tangents since that’s how my mind operates.

Sometimes I take a critical look at myself and wonder – was I meant to be a woman? Not that I identify as a male or want a penis. Penises are ugly, dangly things. I’m pretty comfortable with my lady bits even though they aren’t tucked in as nice and neat as they were 15 years ago. Kids will do that to you. And, despite the whole “penis thing” I’m physically attracted to men. Although I will admit...

As kids, our minds don’t see limits. We dream big and want to do big things with our lives. Until the world crushes us down and makes us accept the mediocre. Here’s how I finally say f you to the world and followed my dream.

Stuff. It’s everywhere. We buy or receive things constantly and then, before you know it, the house is filled and eventually looks like the junk yard lady’s house from the 80s movie Labyrinth. I cannot stand stuff – yet I live with a borderline hoarder.

A lot of people try and present a rosy-colored look at what their life with kids is like. I am not that person. Here are the 4 things I would like to warn you about. Things I wasn’t prepared for.

This episode covers my mood (blah), my boobs (b-cup), and my current drinking status (tea) as I recap my 5-6 week status of geriatric pregnancy.