Raising Godly Boys Minute

“I guess I haven’t learned that yet.” That’s a phrase coined by author Shauna Niequist.  After her two sons, Henry and Mac, had lived in a small town their whole life, Shauna and her husband moved the family to New York City. As her sons struggled with the transition to city life, Shauna pinned a piece of paper to the wall with the phrase “I guess I haven’t learned that yet” on it. She reminded he...

One educator said we live in a day of hurried loneliness, with hundreds of Facebook friends but not two with whom we think and share deeply.  Families rush from one activity to another.  To some people, the idea of a family sitting down together and leisurely sharing a meal is an idea from a Norman Rockwell painting. Parents, we must plan to make meaningful conversation happen.  We can embrace int...

For what are you thankful? Author Jerry Bridges called unthankfulness one of our “respectable sins,” easily accepted as normal. The Bible exhorts believers to live a life of habitual thanksgiving. In our day of consumerism, we are wise to practice the habit of gratitude and teach our families to do the same. Don’t lose the spirit of Thanksgiving.  Claim it, prepare for it, and practice the art of...

Ralph Waldo Emerson opined, “Life is not so short but that there is always time for courtesy and chivalry.” Have you ever been encouraged by the smallest courtesy?  Holding the door, bringing a glass of water, or any small thing is enough to brighten our day. Has anyone ever risen to your defense?  Stood up for you?  Told others you were right?  It is a great feeling. There is great power in acts...

Do girls feel more emotions than boys? David Thomas, a psychologist and author, says this common belief is not true. He says boys feel just as deeply as girls, but often don’t know how to process those feelings as well as girls do. As parents of boys, it’s important that we help our sons put words to their feelings. One way to do that is to simply discuss emotions out loud. When you’re watching a...

Are you sure your son has what he needs for this life? One mountain hike, a boy showed up without a ground pad to go under his sleeping bag.  The nights only dipped into the mid-40’s, but without a ground pad, the cold earth underneath him would have drained heat off his  body, leaving him shivering (and not sleeping) all night long. Check in with your son.  Talk to him.  Listen to him.  Make sure...

To him, it is a big deal. When your teenage son faces rejection or embarrassment, your first instinct may be to say,  “Son, in the scheme of things, this is not a big deal.” But that might not be the best approach. Through MRI scans of teenage brains, psychologists have actually found that a teen’s amygdala– the part of the brain that senses negative emotions– is much more reactive than a child’s...

Do you remember when you got your first pocketknife? Cody got his first pocketknife as a birthday present from his grinning grandfather under the watchful scowl of his mother.  The first thing he did was cut himself and get a bandaid put on his finger. As he grew in years and maturity, he learned to responsibly handle his knife, and went on to teach other boys how to sharpen, care for, and safely...

Have you ever seen a boy transformed? One member of an outdoor youth program was a troubled teen who had spent time in Juvie, and was likely headed for prison.  His leaders worked hard to mentor him, teach him, and praise every effort he gave, no matter how small. From annoyed disinterest to tolerance, he slowly began to listen.  To everyone’s surprise, he became one of the most faithful members,...

Is there a storm in your son’s life? When your son inevitably faces something difficult in his life, it may feel like a hurricane is blowing through. And when it does, you want nothing more than to end the storm—or at least hold an umbrella over your boy’s head. But as hard as we try, we cannot protect our son from every pain in this life. But here’s the good news. Whatever storm your son is endur...

Have you ever seen the power of a boy? All that boundless energy is there for a reason.  Steve led a 50-mile hike with a group of boys and began to worry he might have to cut it short.  His son and some of the other younger boys were lagging behind and wanted to quit. Just as Steve  made the decision to turn the entire group back, the older boys took charge, taught the younger ones silly songs and...

Encourage your son to make only one resolution this year: to never give up. The movie A Million Miles Away tells the true story of Jose Hernandez, who grew up as a migrant farmworker and eventually fulfilled his dream of being an astronaut. Part of Jose’s story is that he applied to NASA eleven times before he was eventually accepted. While making his twelfth application attempt, the movie shows J...

On this last day of the year,  reflect with your son about the 5 critical needs. First, do a check on your son’s “compass.” Ask him what he would like his life to look like in 5 years, and what he needs to do now to achieve his dreams. Secondly, ask your son about his “map.” Does he have male mentors to look up to? Third, remind your son that he needs a “guide,” positive peer relationships. Is his...

It’s easier than you think. In her book Boys Will Be Boys, Dr. Meg Meeker jokingly describes a fictional encounter between a father and a son. The dad says, “Hey son, I’ll see you later, I’m going to a seminar on how to be a better father!” And the son answers,: “Oh, that’s easy dad, just hammer some nails with me.” Dr. Meeker’s brilliant point is that good and godly parenting is a lot more simple...

How does a boy know he is becoming a man? Sometimes, life tells them along the way. Late in the dry summer, Robert looked out his back door, and saw smoke billowing across his property. A growing fire crawled across his neighbor’s pasture, and threatened to roar into the woods on his land.  He yelled for his two boys, 12 and 15, threw rakes into the truck, and drove toward the fire. Jumping into a...

What does your son think about his looks? The media has been focusing a lot on a positive body image movement for girls. But it’s easy to forget that our sons can also feel pressure from peers to have a “perfect” body. How can you help your son have a healthy body image? First, and perhaps most importantly, get your son involved in outdoor physical activity. When he’s with friends, sweating, compe...

In a time when boys are struggling to know their purpose and identity, look to the beautiful story of Christmas.   First, Jesus’ time on earth gives young men guidance. Jesus embodies Biblical masculinity. He  loves, heals, delivers, and sacrifices.  Second, the Christmas story grounds boys. In our society where everything is fluid, the absolute truth of God’s word gives young men a foundation to...

Is celebrating Christmas really important?  Does it matter? Today’s world seems ready to tear down any tradition that reinforces Christianity, family, and morality.  For our children, this can lead to confusion and despair. The simple act of celebrating Christmas, decorating and cooking special food, helping kids choose gifts for family members, anticipating the big day, and spending time together...

What sets a boy's heart on fire? Whether it's beating the next level, winning the next game, or paddling around the next bend, boys love a challenge.  And more than that, boys need a challenge. Put a group of boys in canoes, and they will turn it into a race or a competition to turn each other over.  Send them on a campout, and they'll race to see who can set their tent up first so...

Who are your families’ heroes? Take time in the month of November to teach children about great spiritual heroes - and also remember some of the heroes in your own life. Don't just let these days float by as missed opportunities while the culture is already trying to make money off of Christmas.  Redeem this time and use it as a stepping stone into the holiday season. Spend the month of Novem...

Now is the best time in history to raise a boy. Michael Reichert makes that claim in his book How to Raise a Boy. At first, it may seem like he is wrong, since boys are falling behind their female peers in almost every area. But Reichert says those statistics are what makes it a great time. Now that we’re aware that boys are struggling, it only takes a little intentionality to help. We can make su...

Have you ever watched a boy turn into a man? Tony was a goofy boy that liked to chase lizards, quote movies, and prank his friends. But he was smart and kind, and the leaders in his volunteer group began to suggest roles of responsibility. Soon, he began coming up with original ideas for activities, developing new games, and planning outings on his own. As an older youth, he commanded respect from...

Your son needs to take a walk. Walking has more psychological benefits to your son than you probably even realize. Researchers have found that the rhythmic left and right motion can actually help your boy’s brain process thoughts and feelings. The physical movement can reduce his anxiety and depression, and also helps create new white blood cells in the brain which helps him think better. If your...

Are you sure your son is on the right path? Once, while teaching a map and compass course to a group of boys, the leaders began to notice that none of the boys were finding the right path.  Some were off by small margins, and some went entirely the wrong direction!  The activity was a failure, and only later was it discovered to be because of  buried power lines and water lines under the church pr...

How can you teach your son to be honest? To put it simply: Champion the truth. If your son makes a mistake but confesses, praise his honesty more than focusing on the mistake. And if he does tell a lie, make sure he knows he’s getting punished more for the lie than the wrongdoing. It’s also crucial to remember that your son is watching you closely. He will hear you lie to your boss about why you h...