Raised by Rentals

Arnold Schwarzenegger became one of the biggest action stars of the VHS era starting with spot-on casting as a musclebound barbarian and he stayed on top long enough to poke fun at himself in one of the genre's most misunderstood satires. For this episode, Josh and Mike continue their experiment to combine every Schwarzenegger movie into a shared universe by mashing up CONAN and LAST ACTION HERO!

In the 80s there was a batch of low-budget horror movies based on creepy little monsters running amok. But were any of them actually scary? In this episode, Josh and Mike improv a story to take the comedy out of horror-comedy and try to actually scare people with a serious take on CRITTERS!

The raunchy teen summer comedy movie was a staple of 80s and 90s cinema, and the legendary Carl Reiner made one of the era's best. In this episode, Josh and Mike daydream about how rad it would've been to see more of the horror SFX-obsessed duo of Dave and Chainsaw in a genre-bending sequel to SUMMER SCHOOL!

Image Comics exploded onto the comic book scene in the early 90s, quickly becoming the number 3 comics publisher in the US based on the popularity of superstar artist-creators like Todd McFarlane, Rob Liefeld, and of course Jim Lee! It didn't take Hollywood long to come calling for characters to bring to life on the screen, big and small...with mixed results. Putting comics in the spotlight for th...

John Carpenter made some of the most iconic horror and sci-fi movies of the VHS era, and it's obvious he loved having fun mashing up genres. But what if he'd made a mafia movie? And what if he'd teamed up with Kurt Russell again? That's a Venn diagram of awesome for 80s fans! In this episode, Josh and Mike ponder what ol' Jack Burton would do in a silver screen sequel to BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHIN...

They said it couldn't be done! You can't make a good movie out of a board game...but Hollywood proved them wrong with CLUE. Then RAISED BY RENTALS proved them wrong again with TROUBLE, the only (completely imaginary) horror movie with a Pop-O-Matic bubble! But can they do it again? In the 14th full-length episode, Josh and Mike venture into the karmic dangers of pitching a movie adaptation of...SN...

In the 80s it seemed like everyone was getting mutated by toxic waste! Of all the horror movies in that sub-genre, the one with the best title was maybe the worst of the bunch. How can a film about cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers end up so boring?! For the 13th improv-improve episode of RAISED BY RENTALS, Josh and Mike imagine how great John Heard and Daniel Stern could have been with...

We've all felt the pain of getting excited when our favorite book or comic gets adapted to film only to walk away bewailing why? WHY?! For the 8th RENTAL RANT, Josh and Mike complain like grumpy old men about piss-poor adaptations and Hollywood alienating a built-in audience when they change things for no good reason. Plus, a couple of mini-rants about The Wheel of Time and X-Men! Come get angry w...

G.I. Joe was one of the most successful franchises of the 80s and early 90s. With the one-two punch of a popular cartoon and the greatest toyline of the decade, a hit feature film was surely to follow...yet the animated movie was released straight to home video and Hollywood wouldn't gamble on a live-action film for another 20 years. For the 12th improv-improve episode of RAISED BY RENTALS, Josh a...

Once upon a time, G.I. Joe set the standard for perfect playable toys, supported by an animated series, cutting edge comic book, feature film, and loads more that sparked the excitement of kids everywhere. But now it seems kids just don't play with action figures anymore. This week's RENTAL RANTS is a crossover special with COUNT KREEPYHEAD'S SATURDAY MORNING MONSTER MASH! Host Mike O'May--our fir...

80s kids rejoiced when Hollywood adapted one of the decade's most popular toy properties to the silver screen in 1987, only to leave the theaters confused at the treatment of He-Man. For the 11th full-length episode of RAISED BY RENTALS, Josh and Mike imagine what could have been if we'd gotten a movie true to the origins of MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE.

In the 80s, the Nintendo Entertainment System--our beloved NES--revolutionized the home console market and delivered an unparalleled lineup of legendary games. So why, Lord Jeebus, why?? were there so many $#!&-tier games clogging the rental store shelves? For the 6th installment of RENTAL RANTS, Josh and Mike shake things up a bit by daydreaming of the FRIDAY THE 13TH NES game that never was....

Kent was an ambitious and successful university student, leader of a top-secret laser optics project...until he was upstaged by a prankster and his wunderkind sidekick. When Kent heard the voice of God, though, he knew he was destined for greater things. In the 10th improv-improve episode of RAISED BY RENTALS, Josh and Mike consider what happens when God stops talking to a REAL GENIUS.

Why are relaunches, remakes, and new installments for classic franchises making all the 80s and 90s kids so furious? In the 5th RENTAL RANT, Josh and Mike investigate the Case of the Ruined Childhood!

Matt Foley is 35 years old, thrice-divorced, and living in a down by the river...but how did this high-energy motivational speaker come to such a crossroads in life? In the 9th full-length episode of RAISED BY RENTALS, Josh and Mike imagine what life must be like for the late great Chris Farley's trademark SNL character.

Why are movie sequel titles so unoriginal, confusing, and repetitive? In the 4th installment of RENTAL RANTS, Josh & Mike go full curmudgeon on the laziness of movie series titles.

Sarah Connor survived a ruthless attack at the hands of a killer cyborg from the future & thought she'd found safety in a small Mexican town. So why does she keep seeing a man with the same face as her would-be assassin? For the 8th episode of RAISED BY RENTALS, Josh & Mike improv the perfect 80s action movie crossover: COMMANDO VS. THE TERMINATOR!

It's not a spoiler that spoilers suck! In the 3rd now-regular RENTAL RANTS feature, Josh & Mike vent about jerks who carelessly spoil the stories to movies, books, & more.

In the grand tradition of movies based on board games like Clue and...Battleship, I guess?...for the 7th episode of RAISED BY RENTALS, Josh & Mike improv an actual story for a silver screen adaptation of the only game with a Pop-O-Matic bubble: TROUBLE!

Why the %*$& are shows so long these days?! In the 2nd installment of RENTAL RANTS, Josh & Mike swear up a storm about streaming TV run-times.

From the jungle canopy of Central America to the concrete jungle of Los Angeles, the Earth has often been a safari destination for alien sport-hunters. But what happens when things go wrong and predator becomes prey? For the 6th episode of RAISED BY RENTALS, Josh & Mike imagine how the 90s-era blockbuster action scene would have been even better with PREDATOR 3.

Doesn't Hollywood have any good ideas anymore?! In this first bonus episode, Josh & Mike go on a RENTAL RANT about remakes of popular movies.

Hadouken! Head-to-head fighters dominated the video game scene in the early 90s, so of course Hollywood got in the ring to kick ass with blockbuster movie adaptations. Only the movies we got didn't exactly hit hard. For the 5th episode of RAISED BY RENTALS, Josh & Mike imagine a fighting game-turned-movie that doesn't pull punches & actually put some street fights in STREET FIGHTER II.

1, 2, Freddy's comin' for you...& you...& you...he's everywhere! As the pandemic continues to menace the real world, can the survivors of Springwood prevail against a plague of nightmares? For the 4th episode--& 1st birthday special!--of RAISED BY RENTALS, Josh & Mike improve a story concept for the return of A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET.

When they were just kids, Mikey Walsh & his friends faced pirates, gangsters, & booby traps to save their homes. But is one adventure enough? For the 3rd episode of RAISED BY RENTALS, Josh & Mike improv a story concept for a what-if sequel to THE GOONIES!