Quick Hits

This question came from a real-life situation. Regardless of whether you are the one left out in the cold or the one asked to abandon the person you worked with to create the proposal; this is messy.   Karen Loomis started us off by sharing a story of her experience with this exact issue and that when it happened, she wondered what she would have done if she had been on the other side of it.   Ric...

This conversation did not go as I expected it to. I thought we would talk about how you decide when to give 100% and when to let something slide a little bit so you can put more effort into something else.   I am noticing now as I type this, that when I’ve had this conversation before (not on Quick Hits) it has been with women. Now I’m wondering if having more competing priorities makes a differen...

Michael Davis started us off with the perfect framing: a cynic is negative ▪ and stays planted in his or her beliefs. A skeptic is a healthy optimist. It's a difference between being open minded and closed minded.   Stewart Wiggins agreed saying he thinks most of us are probably skeptics but that there are some people who always believe something bad is going to happen. That cynicism often leads t...

Jim Tam’s first thought was, if you’re on zoom, turn off your camera. It takes practice to keep a straight face and can be important in negotiation situations. He suggested preparing ahead of time to avoid being surprised because surprise might be the hardest tell to hide.   Stewart Wiggins shared an adage from his time in the military: “if you're smiling, you're not doing your job.” But that lear...

Glady Baradaran started this conversation by say unequivocally yes. For her, having a best friend at work who she can send an eye roll emoji to during a meeting to feel the relief of having a shared experience is super important.   Dave Roberts agreed saying that having friends at work for the emotional support makes the day-to-day experience better. He also shared a personal story about how havin...

We covered some things I WISH I had known when I first started working. It would have saved me a lot of stress.   Brandon Mahoney’s opening volley was that you should assume you are there as the expert. They hired you because they need someone to do something. Exactly what that something is might be up to you to define because you bring knowledge and skills the organization didn’t have before.   D...

This was a deep and insightful conversation with three guys who innately have an interest in how we interact as humans. We covered a lot in ten minutes and I would love to hear your (the viewer/listener) thoughts and responses.   Stewart Wiggins started this conversation by posing a different question: why are there so many bad leaders out there or bad managers?   Is the reason there are so many b...

Rick Alcantara started us off by sharing the multitude of ways he has been able to network virtually – associations, boards, Chamber of Commerce, chatting with friends and even doing Quick Hits is on the list.   Jim Tam reminded us that your network is your net-worth; which makes networking and staying in touch invaluable. To his point, if you are driving in your car, don’t waste that time listeni...

This is a conversation that needs to be had more often because I don’t think enough people understand how to use a calendar link without coming off as rude.   Steve Ramona started us off by saying you have to have a relationship first. Don’t just throw your link at people and expect them to book time with you.   Janice Dru-Bennett agreed and added that it depends on the relationship you have with...

Karen Loomis started us off with what that saying means at first blush – go as hard as you can and do all of the things. Hard driving, fast moving. All of it all of the time. Grab all the opportunities. But what if there aren’t opportunities to grab?   She added further into the conversation that it means letting go of your to-do list and doing the thing that is now or never.   Yonason Goldson sai...

Dr. Mohan Ananda started us off by saying there are two kinds of office politics. One that causes problems and for which the person doing it should be removed. Or two – the kind that causes competition and is okay.   I’m not 100% sure I agree with that. I’m not sure it can be defined as “office politics” if it is a good-natured rivalry – although to be fair I don’t think those are healthy in an or...

Asking someone for help shows vulnerability and trust. But what if you don’t ask. Instead, they offer. Does accepting that help create the same kind of connection? My experience says yes. I asked today’s panel why they thought that was the case.   Lisa McDonald started us off by talking about the safety that comes from connection and trust.   Dr Peter Economou added that we are communal beings and...

Philip Tate wanted to hit lead-off on this one because he sees it as the ultimate communication question. You have to create an environment that encourages honest dialogue and ongoing conversations by asking open ended questions and being an active listener.   In a communication audit, you need to provide anonymity and confidentiality if you expect to learn the truth about a difficult topic.   Abb...

This is harder to explain that I expected it to be. It is interesting how we can want something from someone but not be able to explain what it actually looks like to receive it.   Fallon Siniscarco started us off by talking about active listening and not having a pity party (I can get behind that! There is nothing worse than trying to talk to someone about something and getting pity instead of em...

Well, this wasn’t an easy conversation. As is the case with so many of the questions I ask, it depends. How much does it matter? Who is it hurting? Will it make any difference if I do/say something?   Judy Musa started us off in a great place – Am I sure that I am understanding the person who is giving the information and am I sure it is wrong? She went to verify her source before making a decisio...

This question follows on the idea that you have to understand why rules in an industry are in place to break them well or safely.   Stewart Wiggins started us off by asking what makes something outside the box and suggesting that if all previous knowledge is inside the box than any new or different solution is going to be outside the box.   Simon Coles thought that maybe not knowing what is inside...

Dr Bob Choat started this conversation off strong by introducing the Competence Model. If someone has competence, they tend to be confident but if someone is pretending to be competent, they are more likely to be arrogant.    Dawn Gagye summed up her thoughts succinctly, “Confidence as quiet and arrogance, as loud.” I think that is spot on. She went on to talk about how the energy feels different...

This topic came out of the conversation where I asked “How do you deal with difficult people? ( https://youtu.be/q83cXRIYkBI )   Karen Loomis and I have both been called difficult on more than one occasion. Interestingly, Frank Galindo and Jim Tam never have.   Karen started this conversation off by saying she has been called difficult when she doesn’t go along and just accept what someone else is...

When I was in high school and college other students would often shame me for doing well because I was “ruining the curve.” I have similar stories from working production jobs. “Don’t work so fast. You make the rest of us look bad.”   Tim Hawkes pointed out that the average performers don’t have any motivation to work harder. It’s much easier to tear someone down.   Dr Cole Galloway agreed that th...

Dave Roberts started this conversation off by talking about feeling drained, having someone come to you for everything all of the time and needing boundaries.   Fallon Siniscarco acknowledged that it’s normal to go to your friends for advice (never mind that they likely don’t have much more life experience than you do). But if there isn’t balance over time in the friendship, you get to talk about...

Victor Fralof started this conversation with a straightforward answer – fear.   Brandon Mahoney and Stewart Wiggins agreed and I thought we were going to have the first Quick Hits ever that was over in less than three minutes.   But then we started talking about why it makes sense to align yourself with rather than against a bully. Why bullies become bullies. How people used to be more likely to “...

Every sales training I’ve seen talks about building trust. If you are a good human and selling something someone actually needs or wants and you are engaging in good faith – that’s not manipulation - - right?     But, if you're sleazy and trying to get them to buy regardless of their needs or wants – tapping into their emotions and building trust to sway them – that is manipulation and that’s not...

This was an interesting discussion to have with three people who don’t mind conflict and will jump right into or even invite a challenging conversation.   Gary Fredericks tries to start by finding common ground, something that can be agreed upon, to show he is as interested in their success as they are.   Inga Hebdon added that it depends on what you are trying to address. It is different if you h...

As one would expect Rabbi Yonason Goldson started us off with the biblical idea of “love your neighbor as yourself.” The idea being that you have to love yourself before you can love others. But what does it mean to love something or someone?  He even gave us a quick lesson on Ahavah, the Hebrew word for love.   Lori Donofrio-Galley agreed that you do need to love yourself to love others saying, “...

This question came up because I have a friend in the UK who has commented on several occasions how we (North Americans) use “how are you” as a greeting rather than a question. But when he asks me, he is actually asking the question and wants an answer other than “fine.”   I asked Atif Agha to start this conversation off and he talked about being aware. It is the right friend and the right time to...