Probing Ancient Aliens

G’day and bonzer and all that sheet, mate! It’s toim to buggah down with this crocodile dundee-tastic episode of your FY-vrit shoi about Ancient Astronaut Theory! Steve and Joey were just as surprised as you just were reading the first sentence of this paragraph that this episode is 100% Australian...all the time. Do the aboriginal peoples of Australia actually hold the record for the oldest conti...

The Cosmic Egg is seen in religions, mythic artwork, stone carvings and buried in the ground since time immemorial. This divine symbol of birth and rebirth has permeated our minds so much so that it’s depictions are more numerous than even the Christian cross or the Jewish star of David - so the question is...why? How did ancient man seem to understand that this singular point of all life, matter,...

Tsoukalos, Childress, Wilcock and the gang recap a recap of a rehashed episode for like the 5th time - talking about mathematicians like Ramanajan, Turing and other geniuses like "Steven Jobs" (as Childress says) who, of course, MUST have gotten ALL their inspiration from extraterrestrials as it's impossible to think of any sort of technological advancement without alien intervention. Let's proooo...

A very special treat for y'all this week - a peek into our Patreon content since Steve is out of town this week. This one is a treat! Our recent review discussion of David Wilcock's newest...uh..."documentary," The Cosmic Secret! Ol' Five Heads at Freddies has a brand new movie - which he might refer to as a 'documentary - and boy is it a doozy! Over 2 hours of pure, dripping, greasy Wilcock Drips...

Tsoukalos, Childress, Wilcock and the gang make us think that they’re going to talk about “dat New-New” when it comes to HARD evidence for Ancient Alien visitation in the remote past...but they really just talk about ground penetrating radar and satellite imagery having the ability to look underground without busting open pyramid walls and stuff...which they’ve talked about before. They also wheel...

Are aliens secretly behind the trans-humanist movement? Are extraterrestrials influencing humanity to reach the cybernetic singularity so that we can be better prepared for long term space travel and meet our ET creators? Do ancient religious texts speak of Nootropics, nanomachines, genetically modified embryos, and immortality-inducing technology? What would happen if you had robot butt cheeks im...

Our earthlings actually the descendants of ancient Martians? Are the angels described in religious texts simply humanoid Mars citizens whose bodies reflect life in a low gravity environment? Is human architecture the same as the artificial structures portrayed by the Mars Rover because we are, in fact, the children of a refugee Martian race? How would we effectively colonize and terraform Mars so...

Is the continent of Antarctica hiding pyramids from an advanced ancient race of humans...or...earthbound extraterrestrials? Why did the Nazi’s, the US Military, the NSA and 7 different countries all desperately try to claim the unexplored tundra of Antarctica so desperately for the past 70 years? Was Antarctica actually part of a once temperate climate zone as depicted on the Arontus Phineas map?...

The big numero 10-oh season finale is here, and it's...koind of a bummer! Our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists explore why ancient archaeological antiquities are being destroyed by our fellow men all over the world in barbaric cultural / political wars. Destroying a culture's history, sadly, is nothing knew, but we can rest assured that Tsouks, Childress, Noory and the gang are equally as bummed...

Are aliens waging a brutal, invisible war over our heads this very second? Are humans the offspring of the “winners” of an ancient alien war thousands of years ago? Did the Annunaki destroy their home planet, Nebiru, before ever reaching the ancient Sumerians to be worshiped by gods..and now our asteroid belt is all that’s left of the Annunaki homeworld? Do alien races see us as a threat now that...

Crop circles - geometric shapes embedded into large swaths of farmland by some sort of unseen force: what are they? How are they formed? Are crop circles a hoax...or something we fear so greatly that we avoid the stark truth they’re trying to communicate? Steve and Joey don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Researchers sure think they do! Let’s proooooooooobe into one of the (so far, anyway...

Fishies. Jelly-fishies. Shark-fishies. Fish-men. Fish...women. Mmm...Our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists get extra wet n' slippery with this one little probers and probettes, as they discuss the possibility of intelligent life existing thousands of fathoms below our little buns in the salty briney deep. Are there "The Abyss" style aliens in the 90% of the as-yet unexplored ocean? Did space-fari...

NOTE: This is a FREE preview of our paid Patreon content - subscribe now for $5 per month to get at least 2 exclusive podcasts like this one! This is the mac daddy of conspiracy theory movies - and David Wilcock (Five Heads at Freddy's) partners with some interesting folk - including a supposed member of the Secret Space Program - to inform the public about how the truth is actively being subverte...

Ancient Aliens, and the Ancient Astronaut theorists that fill out its cast, have never really focused on Exo-Planets - Earth-like habitable planets - before...or have they? Ancient Aliens has really all been about other planets with humanoid beings visiting us since the dawn of time, but this week, Tsouks, Childress, Tzadok and the gang are going deep into our modern search for Exo-Planets and act...

It’s Probing Ancient Aliens 100th Episode - and Joey’s wife surprises the boys with their very own - and perhaps, first of it’s kind - prolapse cake! After chowing down on some delicious pink sock meat, the boys discuss an episode of Ancient Aliens that, as usual, only has like 10% non re-hashed content in it; but that’s why we love Tsouks and the gang so damn much: their willingness to endlessly...

Serial killers who claim to be controlled by demons. Dictators with occult sources of power control the masses. Cult figures like Alistor Crowley and L. Ron Hubbard practicing magic rituals. Are these connections to Dark Forces simply the Judeo-Christian mythos coming to fruition in reality? Or are all evil pacts and deals with the devil simply Extraterrestrials manipulating humanity into fighting...

Are many, if not most, of the ancient extra terrestrial "gods"...actually robots? Was the Egyptian creator god, Osiris, able to be put back together after dismemberment, not because of heavenly magic, but because he had interchangeable robotic body parts? If we are already fast-approaching robots that are indistinguishable from organic humans...what's to have stopped super advanced ancient aliens...

This episode is dedicated completely...and oddly...to Wernher Von Braun, the world’s most famous former Nazi rocket scientist! The Ancient Aliens production crew really phoned this one in and might even have gone to Wikipedia, or scripts of old Ancient Aliens episodes, to get most of the factoids they’re spewing about old Wernher. Still, Steve and Joey like to think that they can add a little spic...

Was the lost continent of Atlantis home to a pre-cursor race of advanced, yet ancient, human beings? Are the Atlanteans and the biblical “Pre-Adamites” one and the same race of people? How did Peri Ries know about the coastline of Antarctica during the Renaissance...when Antarctica’s coastline has been obscured by huge sheets of ice for over 6000 years? Did the Ice Age end - subsequently drowning...

Do competing races of aliens have completely separate agendas for humanity and its ultimate destiney? Are there “good aliens” and “bad aliens” that proliferate or destroy our advanced knowledge of the past - like Prometheus bringing fire, or the burning of the Library of Alexandria? Did the evil extraterrestrials manipulate Hitler and his Nazis toward their own ends, with the goal of subjugating m...

Steve and Joey are wrapping up their vacation so here's a previously EXCLUSIVE episode of Closet Knowledge from our Patreon - all about how we went on our own Paranormal Investigation of the David Oman House! This spooky Beverly Hills haunted house (and it's quirky owner) claims that Sharon Tate and the other Manson Murder victims have set up shop there, just a few doors down from where they were...

How is it possible that entire ancient cultures seemingly vanish without a trace, consistently and constantly over the centuries? Do they die of disease? Do environmental changes force an exodus from their cities and lands? Does civil war rip their societies to shreds? Or...are ancient - and modern! - extraterrestrials abducting entire cultures en masse to perform experiments for unknown purposes?...

Are there pyramids hidden all over the world - under the ocean and sands - that are just lying there, waiting to be found? What could these hidden pyramids tell us about ancient cultures BEFORE ancient Egypt and Sumeria. Are there pyramids hidden under North and South America? What about the pyramids being uncovered in the Amazon rainforest as we cut down swaths of trees so we can have soy bean fa...

Did aliens have a strong influence over the outcome of the civil war? Did Abraham Lincoln communicate with extraterrestrial beings and see visions of George Washington that turned the tide of battle on more than one occasion? Did aliens give honest Abe constant premonitions of his death? Did the founding fathers believe in aliens? Was Moronai, the Mormonism-creating angel that communed with Joseph...

Have ancient aliens been leaving us messages in petroglyphs, crop circles, architecture...and even our own DNA? What are they trying to tell us? I don’t have much to write because this episode of Ancient Aliens doesn’t have much to say - but you better believe our plucky ancient astronaut theorist THINK they have a lot to say...and Joey and Steve take every opportunity to pick it apart and point o...