Probing Ancient Aliens

Are ancient pyramids really massive power plants? How did cultures thousands of miles apart build such similar shapes with supposedly no contact? Is the Chinese government hiding dozens of ancient pyramids holding the Terracotta Warriors and other unknown treasures? Why is Khufu’s body nowhere to be found in the pyramid that shares his name? What is the true purpose of ancient pyramids, and what s...

Did ancient aliens genetically create the dinosaurs for some grand biological experiment? Was the giant asteroid that destroyed them actually a directed attack to destroy their creation to make way for more intelligent life on Earth? Did dinosaurs exist side-by-side with ancient man? Did a handful of species survive their cataclysmic demise as portrayed in carvings at Ankor Wat and the on the Ica...

Are gods just humans from the future who traveled back in time to create themselves in the remote past? Are the infamous Grey aliens simply hyper-evolved humans from the future...or perhaps another dimension, or both? Does Einstein’s Theory of Special Relativity give rise to stargates, wormholes, and other opens for advanced “future people” to cyclically fulfill their own evolutionary destiny? Did...

Did Leonardo DaVinci leave secret messages in his paintings? As a youth, was he visited by aliens and given secret scientific knowledge...knowledge that he based his super-advanced inventions on? Why was DaVinci so secretive - so much so that we have no idea why he spent the last 16 years of his life on a single, seemingly ordinary portrait: the Mona Lisa. Did you know that DaVinci wasn't actually...

Is Bigfoot really an alien being? Is Sasquatch simply a leftover hominid created by the Annunaki? Are the Yeti a sad relic of an alien hybridization program abandoned for a better result...namely: home sapiens?! Our minds, and of course, colons are blown by the possiblity that Bigfoots are all around us: warping through dimensions; crawling around a subterranean pan-American tunnel system, causing...

Sorry for the late ep! We're talkin' 'bout the big...bulbous...bloooooocks of Bolivia's own Pumapunku temple, and how noone could ever sand a bunch of rocks down with other rocks or lift anything heavy! This is a big time Childress-heavy 'sode (much to our delight!) and he gets some real man-time with fellow ancient astronaut theorist, Brian Foerster, and talk about some problematic (for multiple...

Does NASA conduct secret space missions to interact with aliens? Does NASA only show the public a microscopic portion of what's really going on behind the scenes? Did the moon landing mission have tons of off-camera action between Buzz Aldrin, Neil Armstrong, and an ancient Lunar civilization? Is the leadership at NASA 33rd degree Scottish Freemasons with an agenda to communicate with the Egyptian...

Have ancient aliens been responsible for joy-gantic mega disasters like Volcanoes, Earthquakes, Tsunamis, and Climate Change? Or were they simply trying to warn us against these disasters? Is it something far more sinister? Like advanced flesh and bolts Extra Terrestrials trying to "cull" the human "herd" as it were? Steve and Joey don't really know, because our plucky ancient astronaut theorists...

Little green...or should I say grey...men? They’re abducting, absorbing, absolving...and anal probing! Those plucky ancient astronaut theorists are obsessed with ret-conning the stereotypical alien “Greys” into every facet of our ancient past: religion, art, and architecture - all while Steve and Joey break things down with their usual gross take on life, liberty, and the pursuit of prolapsiness....

It's time to party like it's December 21st 2012, when we were all going to look up to the sky and fuckin' DIE because the Mayan Calendar said so! Did the Ancient Astronaut Theorists consult an actual Mayan expert to contribute to this episode? And de answer is...NO! But there's plenty of fear-mongering to be had as our plucky researchers wonder what the return of the 9 gods, and the return of Kuku...

Season de Quatro starts off with a big cataclysmic BANG when the Mayans are playing with their apocalyptic Long Round Calendar! Steve and Joey have something else long and round...their pink sock prolapses flapping in the wind as they yak on and on about Mayan math, Mayan astronomy, Mayan pyramids, Mayan gods and goddesses, Mayan religion, Mayan hieroglyphics, Mayan snake-men, Mayan spaceport land...

Did ancient aliens jumpstart man’s evolution by altering their DNA? Were Adam and Eve simply the first “modern” humans to understand the power of gentics...or were they aliens themselves that were cast out for having SECKS with their homo sapien creations? Were we simply advanced apes that “overnight” had a “big bang” in our intellectual evolution? How much does pubic-like hair way? What is that w...

Do humans really have superpowers lying latent in our DNA? Did the Extra Terrestrial gods of the ancient world give men devices to enhance their sight, strength, or even bestow the power of invisibility? Was the battle between the Olympians and the Titans an actual civil war that split an ancient alien race down the middle and cast rebels out of their mothership? Joey and Steve don’t really know,...

Did aliens create zombies and vampires, or simply inspire humans to ressurect dead bodies because they witnessed hypersleep chambers in alien crafts? Phew, that’s a mouthful, and this whole episode is pretty much a hole-fillin’ glop of speculation and theological examples of the afterlife...but of course: ALIENS! Aliens apparently taught us that our blood is “important” and they’re going to judge...

Steve and Joey went to Alien Con 2018! Like two little old ladies, they drove up to the Pasadena Convention Center for the premier Ancient Aliens event of the year! Well, they missed Contact in the Desert, so they can’t say for sure...but the cast and crew of our favorite show about Ancient Astronaut Theory were all there to spread more learnin’s and yearnin’s for the alien boys we love! The boys...

Is the World Grid real? Did ancient man build their megalithic stoneworks on each of its nodes by chance...or were they influenced to follow this magnetic pattern by advanced Extraterrestrials? Are Temple Mount, Balbek, and the Pyramids at Giza electromagnetic gas stations for alien craft to stock up? Was the Greek god Apollo simply an ancient alien that travelled along Ley Lines to the north to s...

Are murderous cult leaders actually motivated by contact with malicious Extra Terrestrials? Are cultists like the Circumcellions, Heaven’s Gate, the Narcosatanists, and the Thuggi mind controlled by aliens posing as gods? Is there any difference between the divine kings of the past and modern psychopaths who believe they’re special, divine, or of advanced alien origin? Steve and Joey don’t know, a...

Did aliens help George Washington win America’s Independence from the British? Why don’t history books teach about Thomas Jefferson officially reporting a UFO sighting during his Vice Presidency? Why doesn’t anyone focus on the Extra Terrestrial musings by Ben Franklin in his Poor Richard’s Almanac? Why don’t more people know that many of the Founding Fathers were Freemasons with a mystical and sc...

Are there special “POWER PLACES” that are truly “cursed?” Are the weird electromagnetic energies of Aokigahara Forest causing Japanese people to commit Suicide? Are the Cauldrons and alien Orange Orbs of Siberia’s Valley of Death causing radiation sickness and killing hikers? Does the Aboriginal god known as the Rainbow Serpent really eat the wicked folk that dare to enter Australia’s Black Mounta...

Did Prya Pisnokar throw an alien-crafted plasma sword into lake Tonle Sap? Was the young King Arthur’s famous sword in the stone equipped with a Biometric Sensor that allowed only his DNA to release the blade from it’s rocky grip? Were the Hindu gods and goddesses using nuclear weapons and guided missiles in crazy wars in the skies over India? Did ancient aliens teach early man how to harness fire...

Was the Garden of Eden an ancient alien laboratory where ET’s hand crafted modern humans? Was the Mayan city of Copan and Nazca in Peru visited by ancient astronauts posing as sky gods, demanding blood sacrifices? How were the Easter Island Moai statues carved and moved without anti gravity technology? Well according to our resident ancient astronaut theorists, its aaaaaaaaall possibly aliens that...

Was the grim reaper really an alien spreading The Black Plague with a high teck “scythe?” Did an Extra Terrestrial Virgin Mary warn the people of Portugal about the devastating Spanish Influenza outbreak of 1917? Do meteorites bring microbes and possibly new diseases to Earth, literally infecting us with outer space illnesses? The answer to that last one - as Tsouks would say - IS YES!!! For once...

Was ancient man capable of building massive megalithic structures like the Pyramids at Giza, Ollantaytambo in Peru, The Oracle Room on the island of Malta, the temples of Vijayanagara, or the pyramid city-scape of Teotihuacan with simple stone and metal tools? Steve and Joey don’t really know for sure, but our favorite Ancient Astronaut Theorists are giving it a very HARD “NO!” Extra Terrestrials...

Are magic rituals allowing us to communicate telepathically with aliens? Are crowns, scepters, and thrones technological artifacts that give kings and queens the power of the gods? Did ancient aliens really require blood sacrifices from the ancient Mayans? Are Extra Terrestrials using Quantum Entanglement technology with Native Americans? All these questions and more are...answered? On today’s epi...

Did ancient South Americans sacrifice gold to the alien gods of the lost city of El Dorado? Does Roslynn Chapel hold the Holy Grail in one of its pillars among little green men? Did ancient aliens (by way of Atlantis) store all their knowledge of time and space on a mountain of gold under the Sphynx’s paw? Did ancient Egyptians actually own the famed Philosopher’s Stone and use it to create the mo...