Audrey and Mara
Prime Cuts
Transform, roll out, and plug in! Audrey (she/her, they/them) and Mara (she/they) are taking you on a ride through the history of Transformers television. We're going season by season--but not in order!--so you can experience the best of almost 40 years of cartoons with our expert* and objectively correct** commentary.*bro just trust us**bro just TRUST us
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Episodes
S8E7: Spider Dads and Robot Yaoi 03.03.2024 1:31:37
Oh boy, here we go again. Tarantulus is back. I bet he's gonna be weird and gross and offputting and...oh? What's that? He's kind and complicated and genuinely concerned for Nightshade? Well, I guess anything can happen in Earthspark. Well, I'm sure Bumblebee has no deeper reason to risk breaking his cover just to do some silly races. Oh? He's trying to find his long lost friend from before the wa...
S8E6: Giant iPad Baby 25.02.2024 1:32:14
Last time on Earthspark three new babies joined the cast. Now it's time to figure out whats up with them! One of them loves movies and the internet, one of them is a nice boy with severe anxiety, and one of them is impossibly good at advanced engineering projects. We also get more clues about GHOST being completely FINE and NORMAL, Nightshade meets a cow, Hashtag makes a movie, and Jawbreaker talk...
S8E5: Howl's Moving Monstrosity 11.02.2024 1:42:48
OKAY, EARTHSPARK!! These two episodes are absolutely packed with incredible stuff, too much to fit into a measly description, so instead I will give you a list of out of context phrases which relate to some cool shit that happens in this episode; Fusion Cannon Piledriver, Goth Baddie Skywarp, Megatron Energy Shibari, Quintus Prime, Three New Guys, Toxic Plane Yuri, Mandroid Boss Fight, and AMAZING...
S8E4: Block This Overhead Y'all 04.02.2024 1:24:09
Earthspark continues to provide us with all time great incarnations of classic characters. Rowdy Southern Arcee? Yes please! Frenzy with blue hair and pronouns? Sign us up! Soundwave disillusioned and betrayed by Megatron's turn? Wowee!! And the kids go to SCHOOL?!?!?!? ...well okay that one isn't actually all that exciting. But they DO basically watch their adopted robot siblings die, so, you kno...
S8E3: Assigned Dad On Sight 28.01.2024 1:20:27
What if you were like 2 weeks old or whatever and inadvertently scanned an Autobot scientist's drone as your alternate mode, and then you meet him in the woods while you're looking for a monster from Filipino folklore? What if you and your sister got into a fight so bad you accidentally stumble into a secret government blacksite and almost get murdered by a former war criminal's training program?...
S8E2: Cough It Up Bike Boy 21.01.2024 1:36:07
We learned a lot this week on Transformers Earthspark; baby cows are really cute, never take teaching advice from Megatron, Witwicky Pennsylvania has some robust rail infrastructure that is used entirely by shady secret organizations, rules are important, the chore chart is VERY important, never trust a guy named Swindle (we've heard this one before), and professional wrestling inspires bad behavi...
S8E1: Megatron Has Been Bimbofied 14.01.2024 1:27:21
New year, new show, same us. In a first for the podcast, we're covering a show that neither of the hosts have seen, Earthspark! We talk about the extremely strong first showing for this series with 'Secret Legacy'. Some great casting choices, cool designs, a fascinating setup for our characters, and the most engaging human cast we've ever had means we're pretty high on Earthspark so far. Also, dam...
S7E7: Arise, Crunchwrap Supreme 26.11.2023 57:32
Animated Season 2 left us with a lot of questions. If Sari is a techno-organic hybrid, how come she caught a cold that one time? Why did the Constructicons not ever get a toy? How come Ratchet fucked up that bad? Why does Nero have such an atrocious Ronald Reagan impression? Will Hasbro ever answer for cancelling Animated Season 4? Is Slo-Mo single? At least some of these questions will be answere...
S7E6: Is this CANON!?!?! 19.11.2023 1:31:45
Well, we've reached the end of TFA Season 2. Lots happens this week. Starscream flirts with his externalized girlboss aspect, Sari remakes Home Alone (complete with Joe Pesci), Ratchet reunites with his ex-boyfriend (a sentient weapon of mass destruction), Bulkhead's engineering skills are finally recognized, and shocking revelations about Sari's origin are teased in literally the last 30 seconds...
S7E5: Government Assigned Nickname 12.11.2023 1:38:42
ATTEN-SHUN! THIS WEEK WE ARE TALKING ABOUT EPISODES NINE AND TEN OF TRANSFORMERS ANIMATED SEASON TWO! THEY ARE CALLED 'AUTOBOOT CAMP' AND 'BLACK FRIDAY'! THE FOLLOWING EVENTS WILL BE DESCRIBED IN DETAIL BY YOUR HOSTS; BUMBLEBEE AND BULKHEAD MEET IN BOOT CAMP, BUMBLEBEE ACCIDENTALLY TORTURES SENTINEL PRIME, BUMBLEBEE GETS HIS LEGS RIPPED OFF, BUMBLEBEE IS TRICKED INTO FRAMING AN INNOCENT BOT FOR SP...
S7E4: Threehundred Starscream Moon 05.11.2023 1:28:38
As we hit the middle of Animated's second season we begin to get some pretty mid episodes, even if one of them has strangely good animation for no reason. However, that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of things to talk about. This week, Prowl gets caught up in a silly drug metaphor (where the representation of drugs is corpse bits that give you superpowers) while hunting down Starscream with Lock...
S7E3: FUHGEDDABOUTTIT 29.10.2023 1:16:02
BADA BING BADA BOOM we're back in the Mix(master) with Transformers Animated, and it's time to meet some more new guys! Bumblebee gets into a rivalry with a cool blue street racer who surely will not turn out to be a named character any time in the future. Then Bulkhead meets some real blue collar guys who were quite literally born yesterday. Will he be able to guide his rough around the edges pal...
S7E2: Gap Moe Garbage Man 22.10.2023 1:30:21
It's finally here. After alluding to the best montage of all time many times in our past episodes, we've finally arrived at Starscream getting murdered over and over again for 45 seconds. Oh, but don't worry, he's fine. He can't die anymore, and he intends to make this everyone else's problem. Also in this episode, Weird Al has a double meta guest spot, Sentinel and Magnus attempt to make Optimus...
S7E1: Good Ol' PCP 15.10.2023 1:17:48
Listeners we are so fucking back...in Detroit, to be specific. We're starting our journey through TFA season 2, and already some nutso shit has happened. Sari Sumdac is (briefly) the world's youngest CEO, the AutoCops have stopped by to investigate all these claims about Decepticons and Allsparks and whatnot, the Headmaster has returned to torment the Autobots (and the Audience), and Professor Sum...
S6E7: Least Valuable Seeker 24.09.2023 54:53
We finished our sprint through Cyberverse's first season, and we have a lot of thoughts about it. Mostly our thoughts are that Bumblebee is kind of annoying, Shadowstriker is cool as fuck, and this show is chronically incorrect about Dinosaurs. We also construct the setting for our dream show, give out our end of season awards, and Nero announces their pick for our next season. Noise Space | Disco...
S6E6: Seeker Math 17.09.2023 1:12:50
`You know they say that all bots are created equal, but you look at me Grimlock and you look at Shockwave and you can see that statement is not true. See, normally if you go one on one with another Cybertronian, you got a 50/50 chance of winning. But I'm a genetic freak and I'm not normal! So you got a 25%, AT BEST, at beat me. Then you add The Seekers to the mix, your chances of winning drastic g...
S6E5: Nightmare Zoom Call 10.09.2023 1:09:45
This week the plot continues to move! Bumblebee gets some motivational flashbacks from the annoying orb he rescued last week, Slipstream roots through Windblade's memories and gets berated by her bosses over Zoom in two very different ways, and the gang black out an entire city to restart Grimlock's heart. We also get to hear some of Cyberverse's.... interesting ideas about dinosaurs. Noise Space...
S6E4: Shockwave's Amogus Lobby 03.09.2023 1:05:14
As Windblade and Bumblebee get closer to locating the lost Ark, the Decepticons are closing in. In remembering an old bar, the duo get a cryptic clue from the past which hews shockingly close to their current situation. Shockwave launches a dastardly plan to gaslight Bumblebee into thinking that HE was imposter all along while Windblade and Slipstream have more encounters. Finally an annoying orb...
S6E3: Bee Just Like Me FR 27.08.2023 1:17:50
This week we're joined by the other half of Naruto podcast Konoha Crush, Soliloquy, for more trips down Bumblebee's memory lane. We learn all about CUBE, Cybertron's premier sport, and how Bee met Windblade. Then we're treated to a bit of Bumblebee and Hot Rod's vacation on Velocitron, which ends in just about the worst way a vacation can end. Finally, we're properly introduced to Shadowstriker, w...
S6E2: This Too Is Yuri 13.08.2023 57:13
Cyberverse continues to roll on, introducing us to more new guys through Bumblebee's flashbacks. This week Bee, Prime, and Grimlock have a Star Trek style adventure, Windblade gets homoerotically choked out in the Himalayas, and we learn all about why this Megatron guy sucks so bad. Oh, and Bumblebee watches informercials and learns some new words. How exciting. Noise Space | Discord
S6E1: ASMAllspark 06.08.2023 1:03:54
We're back from our summer vacation to talk about an all new show! There's a lot of things to get used to when starting Transformers Cyberverse. There are no human characters at all, the episodes are MUCH shorter, and and the voice acting varies in quality from "quite good" to "dubious G1 impersonation". But one thing remains constant; Bumblebee IS here and he IS extremely mark...
S5E13: Beast Woke 02.07.2023 58:06
Well, here we are again. The end of another season. There are themes to discuss, characters to rank, accolades to give out, and future plans to announce. Also, Audrey gives her spoiler free review of Rise of the Beasts, we workshop the sexy new modern reboot of Beast Wars, and marvel at the insanely long name of Beast Wars' Italian Dub. Now if we all pool our twitter clout together we can get that...
S5E12: Daddy Vibes 25.06.2023 1:22:21
It's time for the season finale! All the pieces fall into place, and our characters make big moves; Megatron goes into full Bond villain mode as he awaits the arrival of the mysterious alien race seemingly using this planet as an experiment. Optimus Primal gets put into a bondage machine and scolded by the robot devil. Tarantulus' plans are set in motion, and he valiantly resists the treacherous f...
S5E11: Big Stinky 18.06.2023 55:12
This week is a perfect encapsulation of the extremes of Beast Wars. On the one hand, we have an episode about Tigatron grappling with the cost of war, the nature of violence, and his love of the natural world. Dinobot continues to be caught between the Maximal cause he has sworn himself to and the Predacon programming he was born with. Ultimately there are no easy answers for either of them, but t...
S5E10: Snakes And Screamers 11.06.2023 1:09:54
This week we talk about the episode that solidified Beast Wars' connections to the wider universe of Generation 1, and also an episode where a bunch of guys go blind and almost get eaten by a snake. Starscream is back and screamier than ever, with a performance somehow more unhinged than Chris Latta's original G1 voice work. Also Blackarachnia and Dinobot are huge history nerds, Waspinator would h...
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