Prime Cuts

Friend of the pod Gigalithic joins your intrepid hosts this week for two more episodes of good old G1 madness. Whether its Beachcomber's discovery of a magical piss pool, or Astrotrain jumping at the opportunity to do colonialism, we can assure you that it's very fun, and very stupid. This Datatrack contains discussion on the following topics; why Seaspray sucks, random character groupings, what h...

As we reach roughly the halfway point of our journey through G1 season 2, the powers that be deign to give us the gift of peak. That's right, we're finally talking about A Decpticon Raider in King Arthur's Court...and also some other episode that was ok I guess. This Datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; good guys being annoying, War of the Worlds (2025), Red Alert's dogshit firef...

In a pair of shockingly competent and relatively well-written episodes, all the frustrations the Dinobots have had about being the Autobots' get out of plot free cards finally comes home to roost in a two parter that sees Carly and Spike go to Cybertron to save everyone from a sudden onset of Cybertonium poisoning. But more importantly, Audrey and Mara argue about who has the longer drive to anoth...

This week Argyle from Pod of Greed returns to the show to talk about a trio of extremely stupid episodes. While Microbots is mostly your average 'guys shrink down to go inside another guy' episode of children's animation it does contain one of the best scenes in all of G1 and introduces us to Perceptor. Then we experience the Television equivalent of being hit over the head with a sack of doorknob...

In a particularly Yaoiful pair of episodes, Audrey and Mara debate which couple is better; the sensitive, underappreciated architect and his rotund British doctor? Or the red hot Texan firetruck and the paranoid security chief? This datatrack includes discussion of the following topics; Powerglide's attitude, (probably accidental) character nuance, Starscream being surprisingly loyal (for about 20...

This week Max from Pod of Greed joins us for a mind melting trio of G1 episodes. Things start "normal" with the Insecticons eating too much delicious energy and getting ready to go out Mr. Creasote style before Dinobot Island goes completely off the rails. This datatrack includes discussion of the following topics; buge, Megatron's weird hangups, Beachcomber is here, hand-transforming yo...

Alright so you've got two guys. One of them is an evil clone controlled by your arch rival. You can't tell which is which. So how do you solve it? Do you A) Question the clones separately based on knowledge only the original would have access to? or B) Have a race and shoot at a rock? The answer may surprise you! This datatrack includes discussion of the following topics; Soundwave's Secret Sons,...

TORQ, generate picture of sexy female robot ninja, purple and black with yellow eyes, sleek silhouette, lots of knives, badass ninja skills, and huge [REDACTED]. This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; Day of the Machines hitting too close to home, TORQ's battlebots rejects, Skyfire's continuing Busification, smart doorknobs, Doctor Fujiyama (the famous scientist), Nightbird's...

It's ramping up. You may have thought that all of our talk about G1 season 2 being completely cracked was exaggerated. Well now Atlantis has been introduced and destroyed in the same episode. It's also not Atlantis. Worry not, because things only escalate from here. This datatrack contains discussion of the following; AKOM studios dubious reputation, Cybertronian furniture kink, The Device, Spike'...

Is Cliffjumper ok? No. Is it funny that he becomes utterly convinced Mirage is a traitor because he missed one report? Yes. This week we're talking about a couple of fairly iconic episodes. 'Traitor' gave G1 Mirage a bit of ambiguous loyalty that future versions of the character would love to tease, but never fully develop. Meanwhile 'The Immobilizer' is the first of many 'Wheeljack's invention ne...

Dan from Pod of Greed joins us to talk about two more helpings of good ol' G1 insanity. The Decepticons take over New York by building a city underneath it, and dismember Optimus in some highly confusing ways in order to help their dastardly plan along. Then, using extremely vague technology, Megatron turns a bunch of Autobots into huge jerks, and only the usage of different extremely vague techno...

After a year of back to back viewings of the absolute dregs of this franchise, your intrepid hosts have finally returned to where it all began. The original Transformers cartoon came onto the scene with some big swings in season one, but season two is where the madness really starts. Events discussed within this data transmission include; Frankenstein, dubiously certified doctors, Wheeljack's many...

After slogging through perhaps the worst stretch of televised Transformers media there is, your hosts are run ragged. After months of horrible animation, garbled voice acting, braindead plotting, baffling writing, and boring action, we require an extra long break to recover...but when we return, we will be bringing with us Peak Transformers, the ultimate television experience, a cavalcade of light...

What if God was your dead wife? What if your boat learned how to be a man on the internet? What if your Dead God Wife forgave you for being a huge asshole after obliterating an evil future version of you who was an even bigger asshole? What if Cog was the most important guy in the world? What if you could make a big hole? What if you were smooth and purple? What if all of this is just a bad dream?...

Okay so what if God was a cube, right? And then you threw God into space because you were a big huge idiot, and God fell onto a weird dirt planet and started making the Fade from Dragon Age. And then when you went to go find God because throwing God into space really fucked everything up, God was your wife, who is probably dead though you don't actually know, and your God-Wife started beating the...

Hhhhooooooooo boy where to begin with War For Cybertron Kingdom. Is it better than Earthrise? Absolutely. Is it better than Siege? Debatable. Is it good? Absolutely not. In just two episodes,, this show hits us with the most baffling vocal performances yet, a slew of new old characters to ruin, time travel, even more Airazor disrespect, character arc sparknotes so sloppy it gave us whiplash, and b...

Transformers Earthrise stumbles and falls face first into an utterly deranged conclusion. Here are a list of actual things that happen in the final two episodes of Earthrise; Sky Lynx becomes Optimus Prime's spiritual guide, a JPEG of Unicron slurps Galvatron through reality, Cog turns into Solid Snake, The Decepticons invade the Ark and get beaten in less than a minute, Optimus asks Megatron to f...

Here are a list of things Transformers War For Cybertron Trilogy Earthrise Contains So Far: Terrible pacing, half baked rehashes of stuff from IDW, the worst Optimus Prime of all time, an utterly baffling usage of an iconic character which forms the core of the big toyline this show is meant to sell and made Mara extremely Mad, The Suck Off Machine, Quintessons But Not Really. Here are a list of t...

One of the hosts may have transed her gender between when we went on hiatus and now, but one fact remains the same; the War For Cybertron Trilogy is pure, uncut, premium grade suckage. Jetfire somehow seems to get worse with every word that comes out of his idiot mouth, Megatron is completely losing it, Optimus continues to be the worst leader of all time, and the show manages to completely waste...

THIS SHOW SUCKS!!! What is there to say other than that? Well. I guess we can apologize for the title. Sorry. See you all in a month!! Noise Space | Discord

Well...I guess these episodes were objectively better than the first two in terms of being a TV show, but they made us WAY madder. Even the surprise appearance of Ratchet and Impactor old man yaoi couldn't stop us from gnashing our teeth over this show's muddy plotting, flat and boring characterization, Jetfire's absolutely atrocious face turn, and Optimus Prime's...well, everything really. This g...

You know what? It's 2025. Time we grew the fuck up! It's time to toss away our childish things, such as good lighting and fun character writing, and watch a show about REAL giant robot war. Thankfully Netflix has just the thing. This ain't your grandpappy's Transformers, kiddos! This is a big important WAR STORY that has discussion of TREATIES and WAR CRIMES in it! Will we tell you what the treaty...

We've finally made it out of the nightmare that was Transformers Energon. Due to various unplanned (and planned) breaks, this season felt like it went on for years. Was it worth it, in the end? Did we learn anything valuable about ourselves, or the franchise we love? Not really. I guess we learned that Kicker is actually an alright character. So join your hosts as they look back on half a year of...

IT'S OVER!!! IT'S AAAAALLL OVER! Sometimes it felt like this show would never end, but thankfully all things reach an end. Surprisingly, the last two episodes are better than the show has been in like 20 episodes, which isn't saying much but at least it isn't soul crushing. That doesn't mean we aren't subjected to the usual Energon slop; people becoming huge, deeply confusing monologues, fights wi...

Folks, the world is always getting worse in new and terrifying ways. It seems every day wee open our eyes to some new kind of fresh hell. But there is one comforting, reliable constant that we can trust to ground us in these trying times; this show blows fucking chunks. As Energon slowly drags itself towards the finish line by making everyone Huge and Ugly, killing off characters at random, develo...