Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak

I could go all night with you two. Six Feet Under. To see a twin without their twin… the vanity suddenly looked beautiful. Good girl syndrome and defending The Ritz like she built it. Don’t blow my brother! National Chair Day? Priceless. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do...

A case of diagonal interlopers. Ma’am, when you’re done on your phone, I’d like to get my coffee. Do not underestimate the stress of anything. AstraZeneca? Again, Kate was happy to pay… and a little tipsy off two margs. Jacqueline got a separate check and the pork belly skewers were not a main. First in line? We cannot accommodate you. Her bullshit is a dream. Edited and mixed by Allie Graham. See...

Moments from The Road to Christmas ' stops in Philly and Vancouver: Is there a woman in the room? Woah, woah, WOAH! The Blair Witch Project and other found footage. First guest and first sneeze. Pilots are poets. One has to suffer. Put on lipstick during turbulence. Kate insists it was turndown. The choreography of survival. Edited and mixed by Allie Graham. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy...

Merch is live and the hags are on tour with the Road to Christmas. PoogLive.com for tix and gifts! Here’s a holiday medley of charming Christmas chatter from previous years. Everybody's waiting for the man with the bag. To be alone in New York for the holidays. Door prizes. Aesthetic sensibility. Regression. A party helper. Santa Mickey and narrative continuity. Practice receiving a gift. Gingerbr...

Soaring Poog! Solid seamless is luxury. Honoring your interests above my own neurodivergence. The spoons were dropped. Those with reverence and glory for flavors. A Hillstone Memory. There’s been an overall lack of voucher gifting. Under the guillotine toward the manicure table. Getting into clocks. We’re firmly in the holiday system. Release the neck. The search for the best silicone shampoo suds...

Poog goes on tour next week! The Road to Christmas in Portland, Vancouver, Seattle, San Fran, LA, Philly, DC, NYC. You’ll want to bring a Santa’s sack to haul home your merch. It’s a girl’s trip of course. Hoping for jingle bells on the street. Trees in the lobby. The hotel gyms will be utilized. And still it’s okay to dread the tour. Angel Milk. A screenshot inventory. Kate gave away a key probio...

Merch is currently in production and tour approaches. Password recovery as elder abuse. To die by the hand of your child. When they went after Sagan. ADHD and unfinished threads. A thirty year old who just doesn’t have it. Jacqueline peels the sticker off the Lyma on air with Kate’s encouragement.  “Strangely satisfying” can go. An event mere hours after a hydra facial? Begging for foundation from...

What it means to wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Jacqueline has profoundly lowered her caffeine intake and is taking it 2 days at a time. Is water BAD FOR YOU? Caulk and grout, never the two shall meet. Safety on the couch. Screaming to the Gods at the intensity of daily life. Belay on, on belay. A hat was lost to a river once. How many flames? Punching a shark in the nose. Sugar is sugar. S...

Jacqueline and Kate daydream about the upcoming Poog Tour ( pooglive.com ). ADHD 2.0. Wearing a sports bra as a top. We are born to mimic. The Liberace rule threatens the hags. Kate enjoys a romantic decaf cappuccino on the couch. Milk technology in the Bambino versus the Plus. Jacqueline has Kate's charger. The viral TikTok bark. JN’s sexual holiday cards gambit. An ADD approach, "Say it until yo...

With tickets on sale at  pooglive.com , brands scramble to outfit the hags for their tour. An all-orange halloween party. Discount animatronics in fresh costumes. Not another recipe about how spaghetti squash is pasta. Popsicle stick snowflakes, frozen vodka in a milk carton, paper bags luminescent lanterns. This is a house of artists: nothing is gated. Reusable bamboo rounds in a jar of essence....

The Road to Christmas tour is here! Tickets go on sale tomorrow October 25th @ pooglive.com — use early access code ‘HAG’ to get your tickets before the general public. It’s Meal Prep Fall and Jacqueline’s praying to the bowl. Mother hands and product packaging for a ‘90s Beverly Hills’ billionaire widow. Jacqueline toweled off and did a little spritz, and the Gods of the Cars are very ready to st...

Deck the halls, Halloween will come and go. A chill descends and the Hags are begging for kitchen products. Will pay through the nose to avoid PFAs without ability to articulate the acronym. Gifts sent hagward best be bigger than a breadbox. A bad piña colada and your life’s over. Poog Tiktok has technically launched. Mentioned: Breville, Supergut, Goop, Dieux, Lyma, OneSkin, Ziip, Dr Dennis Gross...

Kate is back in the States and her California pride is in full swing. Jacqueline walked into a tree. The hazards of hats. Folding chairs outside the ER. No heavy thinking and no screens. Why must it be a “beautiful salad”? Red wine vinegar from drinkable leftover wine. Kate wants a lawyer friend. In sacrifice, a skinny calf won’t do. Kate’s excited to pull her own espresso shots. A high quality gr...

A compilation episode of the Hags talking restaurants. Cherries rolling on the hardwood, Alice Waters, Restorative Broth, Microgreens in a menu item, and dining alone. The anchor of the torq causing the spill. Black cloth napkins. Abandoning a brunch. Share plates. Table for four at Festoon? Going in together, raw. A bottle for the kitchen. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See...

This week's episode is a cross episode compilation of Kate's Jamaica Incident with the Boys in Philly.   We're the best law firm in the world. 7 beers for the band. Sometimes you have to be the entire reason someone goes on the vacation. Whoa, guys? That's my suitcase! Diving straight into the lagoon. You don't pay for the room, you pay for the lock. Recourse. Not some kind of error of mere neglig...

London, do you have your tickets for KATE? Poog is on tiktok now (@thisispoog). One slutty pair of heels, one sensible pair of heels and the erotics of the full bottle on the trip. Half a klonopin, straight to heaven. The housing is the theater. What is a calendar but a broken promise? Tracing the thoughts. It’s the same year, every year. The candle and the opportunity to be that candle. Is @chane...

Spiritual advice from the business section. Bring your hate and depression to the altar. Packing light: one pair of jeans, one pair of evening pants. Recent house guests may have had some sticky fingers. No more blowing raspberries and bringing back the cackle. Products mentioned: Tower28, Ilia, Rose Inc, Armani, Caudalie, Oribe, Benefit, Porter, Tata Harper, Ratio Bars, SuperGoop, Goop.   Edited...

This is a comedy podcast run by a couple of bitches. A mandatory hour a day at the library or you become branded. Kate tried to return air, two open hands, and a frown. Jacqueline reads to Kate but the words aren’t taking. A specific Armani lipstick. 10/10 customer service that led Kate astray. Books mentioned: Marion Woodman’s The Pregnant Virgin and Hartman’s ADHD: A Hunter in a Farmer’s World....

Jacqueline studied while Kate moved on. Mood is in disrepair and products were purchased out of pocket. Brows. Dessert and Aperol addiction. London Bridge is Falling Down. Kate finally watched The Deepest Breath. Calling all London Hags, Kate will be in town doing her show. Jacqueline was confronted with bovine ideas at home and advised on a smoothie. The linking of guilt and pleasure. Candy Bomb...

Jacqueline's alone and waits for dawn. Kate enacts her cruel curation. A leaf blower to the cobwebs. Getting locked out again. Neighbor chickens and babies. Lectin or Lecithin. Hydration or Moisturization. A run-in with a "fellow" “influencer”.  A mother's opinion on brows.  Products mentioned: Skinceuticals C Ferulic Acid, Josh Rosebrook. This week begging for: The new Ziip device and more Dieux...

Kate’s mouth is in tatters and Jacqueline is depleted, but they still find the strength to record. Garment washing protocol and items past their sell by date. Kate’s never heard a little ditty. A horse's nose. Products mentioned: Aura app, Apollo Neuro, Sakara Greens, Goop Vitamin C, Cymbiotika. Formally and sternly begging for: Armra, Timeline Nutrition, Pause WeHo after weeks of free promotion....

This week the hags are formally begging for Armra powder, vouchers for sessions at Pause, and cases of Swoon, after weeks of free promotion. Whether or not to talk of one’s diminishment. Ice packs for naps. Kate is punished at the nail salon. Jacqueline is blinded by inert furniture. High risk bookcase behavior. Leaving is what makes it a practice. Freediving and swimming toward the light. The Sys...

Vintage delights including reflections on: continental breakfast, a water visit, the perfect seashell, the last liminal space, a bag taken off the belt and an uber catastrophe. Thank you for flying PoogAir.    This episode was edited by Allie Graham. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.c...

Kate and community. Her social, caffeinated mornings in the neighborhood. The inherently Jewish ability to dazzle a coffee shop. Kate's interested in Prolon, Jacqueline's famously done the Master Cleanse and broke it with cream. Pure curiosity and… maybe abs. The 'wonder of it all' is actually in the way. Bootcamp for brushing your teeth and getting good at the mail. Writing like the chair is abou...

Kate’s back from Rome and Jacqueline is fresh off a nap. Screens on the flight. Can we get this man a board? Unbelievably, unexpectedly granted access to a lounge. Best Pret. Double salads and puddings. What does it mean to pull a Novak? Cooking for two and divvying up the portions. Live wood, but not. Memories of Olive Boulee. How did you learn about airport lounge policies? War torn over a warm...