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Episodes
The Barbarians - The Jersey Shore Invades Conan 02.10.2017 1:24:33
Imagine a film where the biggest idiot you could ever find is the lead, make him do a ton of steroids, be a general dickbag to his co-workers and then DOUBLE HIM!!! In typical Cannon Group tradition, this movie is what you call, "not good", yet also "completely unbelievable". It is beyond the realm of standard imagination and can only come from breaking through the doors of perception, AKA doing a...
The Lawnmower Man - Drugs and VR make you a genius 25.09.2017 1:42:35
Once again we try to "go into the internet" by revisiting a film from the early 90's where people didn't understand how computers worked. This one delivered to us by stinker-staples Jeff Fahey and Pierce Brosnan in this NOT Stephen King adaptation. The Lawnmower Man when it came out was beloved and believed to be a great film by 12-year-olds. It no longer holds that majesty. This movie stinks. Fro...
Maniac Cop - Or Gross Face II 18.09.2017 1:41:46
With a deep stinker cast and the classic script-writing of Larry Cohen, we've got all the elements for an amazingly awesome bad movie. Robert Z'Dar becomes a murderous Frankenstein in pretty nonsensical plot with lots of action and bad acting to boot. In a double plot of framing another cop for murders (without any evidence) and trying to kill the Mayor (who doesn't have a role) and the Commission...
Speed 2: Cruise Control - Your mom is a speedboat 11.09.2017 1:49:21
Our Patreon page is now up! If you'd like to support the show, take a moment to visit. Become a Patron Some brainiac from Fox at one point, thought that making a sequel to Speed, take out Keanu, make 1/3 of it about failed marriage proposals, toss in the "idiot plot", and ADR every horrible dad joke you could possibly come up with. Speed 2 is a horrible, terrible, not enjoyable film. What a horrib...
Real Men - Really, really funny 05.09.2017 1:31:15
Jim Belushi and John Ritter team up in a screwball comedy about the CIA's top agent enlisting a mild-mannered insurance salesman in order to bring a glass of water of extra-terrestrials to save the world. With a plot like that, what could go wrong? Well...millions of things. But none of those things happen here. This is buddy-cop comedy perfection. Sometimes movies need to be revisited to know tha...
Return of the Living Dead - True Story? 28.08.2017 1:30:00
Special Guest Comedienne Ronny Pascale of the SH*T Show: The PoopCast stops by to give us insight on how a zombie horde can effect the amount of doo-doo in your undies. Be sure to check out Ronny (on Twitter https://twitter.com/ronnypascale ) and the SH*T Show (on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/shttshow ) for a ton of laughs! Hey remember that time that Louisville, Kentucky was...
Fateful Findings - ???? 21.08.2017 1:46:52
When it comes to vanity pieces that are made by the inept, Fateful Findings leads the rest in insanity. This is the model for a really, really, so bad its good movie. Thank you Neil Breen for giving us this travesty to film-making! This movie...wow. Nothing, nothing, nothing makes any lick of sense or resembles reality. Not even the idea of the film makes sense. How many plots can fit in one movie...
Red Sonja - More like Bed Sonja...zzz 31.07.2017 1:26:50
Conan rides through your screen once again but this time he's named Kalidor and he's not the main character. Instead, a non-action star shows us what non-action looks like in the least adventurous adventure movie ever made. Swords & Sandals? Check. Visual Valium? You betcha. I don't know how this movie stinks so bad. It has your typical lady-hero plot of sword & sandal genre staples. Reven...
Speed Zone - Come for the comedy - Revel in the stunts 24.07.2017 1:28:21
When you really need to make a sequel to the worst sequel ever made (Cannonball Run II) you better not call it Cannonball Run III. Instead call it Cannonball Fever (where you legally can), get the folks from SCTV and let Jamie Farr make an appearance. Add fast cars and hijinks. Shake and then serve. The primary reason you want to come into this film is for the fast cars and ridiculous shenanigans...
Battleship - Not a good plan - W/ Special Guest, Joe Fulgham! 17.07.2017 1:45:15
Special Guest - Joe Fulgham (Caustic Soda, The Dreaming, Onlightened) returns after our American Ninja episode and brings his Canadian goodness to the podcast with all his wit! Find Joe and all he does: You can find more on Joe and his projects at MoteofDust.com and follow him on Twitter @joefulgham When you are completely out of original ideas and need to have your own extended universe (because...
Gwendoline - Loses her clothes in the Land of Bananas 10.07.2017 1:43:15
A French director, named Just Jaeckin, gives us a serious boobie movie with Tawny Kitaen, Brent Huff, and Zabou in which they find the land of the Yik Yak, an underground future society of topless women. Its got our record for the highest boob count to date! Well imagine a movie where there's about 100 different topless women. So I know you can just stop and be happy with that. But there's so much...
9 Deaths of the Ninja - Love murder? Join DART! 26.06.2017 1:32:37
Sho Kosugi makes his return for a second week in another oddball ninja movie where Sho plays a guy named "Ninja" but doesn't actually operate as a ninja. Instead he's a member of an elite force of anti-terrorism and drug trafficking controllers alongside Brent Huff and Emilia Crow. Hope you enjoy murder! While still technically a ninja film, this is basically a buddy-cop movie with super agents in...
Rage of Honor - Clearly NOT a ninja movie...not 19.06.2017 1:27:21
When you want to have a freelance cop go outside of his jurisdiction to take down a drug-lord, you better make sure he's a ninja. Just make sure you never address how he became a ninja or address him as such. Its not fair to the other DEA agents to have a ninja in their ranks. If you're down with a cop/ninja killing lots and lots of people without determining if they are a) bad, b) part of the plo...
Cool as Ice - Oh god, the early 90s stunk 12.06.2017 1:31:17
Kids, remember that period of time before Nirvana and post The Clash? Well that period was a dark time we like to call "The Ice Age" and Vanilla Ice, the mind-child of men in ties, led the charge against good art. This film is a horrifying reminder of those awful days. It should be noted that we are not going to pick on Robert Van Winkle (Ice's real name). Any reference to how dumb Vanilla Ice is,...
Days of Thunder 05.06.2017 1:15:35
When the people ask for a Top Gun sequel they get it! Only this one has NASCAR instead of fighter jets and Kelly McGillis gets to be replaced by the quite unhappy wife of the lead actor. Replace Tom Skeritt with a Robert Duvall and put him in a foot race with Tom Cruises and you've got Top Gun 2: Days of Thunder. While it's just a sequel to arguably the buttest of all movies, Days of Thunder is a...
Face/Off - It's more Face/On 30.05.2017 1:27:25
When two men really don't like each other it's time to break the laws of medical science and do a face/off and then a face/on, while facing off. Inspiration demands much wiping of loved ones faces on, in case they get their faces blown off. So let's start out with the science of said face/swap. Nope, can't work. The movie explicitly tells us that Cage and Travolta's characters (Troy and Archer, re...
Shanghai Surprise - No surprises here, its stinks 22.05.2017
Madonna and Sean Penn take a romantic honeymoon for their doomed marriage by filming a doomed movie. Imagine Raiders of the Lost Ark without any adventure and Romancing the Stone without any romance. Now if one can come up with the plot thesis of this one, I'll give them a trophy. None of it makes a lick of sense. Character's motivations are dubious. Everyone's end game is devoid of existence. The...
Con Air - More like Butt Hair 15.05.2017 1:37:12
Welcome to Con Air, your number one airlines if you are super butt. Like Nickelback? You'll love Con Air. Like penis measuring? Con Air is your favorite. Think Jerry Bruckheimer is a good producer, kiss our collective ass. This movie sucks. The movie is about the impossible. Going to prison for a crime that you wouldn't get charged with, Cage's Alabama accent, his hair, the concept of the prison p...
Shark Attack 3: Megalodon 08.05.2017 1:10:20
When corporations that can't exist go to far, they anger Mother Nature. Her herald of corporate oversight, a 100 foot dinosaur shark and sexual innuendos! Can it possibly be the worst shark movie ever made? Shark Attack 3 is next to Troll 2 in the ensemble of horrible acting. Everyone stinks. Even Captain Jack Harness who has seen a splash of success can't get a line right without the audience gig...
Fate of the Furious - Bonkers requested and delivered 01.05.2017 1:36:26
Dom and the gang are back to wow theater audiences with "Over the Top: The Franchise" and doesn't disappoint in the bonkers business department. Everything is more, more, MORE!!! Let's put it this way. One member of the show risked peeing her pants because she couldn't miss a second of this film. One member jumped out of his seat and just said, "Fuck....." I was personally jumping up and down in m...
Year 3 in Review: Part 2 24.04.2017 1:11:24
Its our third year anniversary and we are cranking out another episode where we recap the best bad movies we've seen in the last year. So happy anniversary to us and we look forward to another year of fine film choosing. This episode we each countdown our 4-1 picks, as well as our favorite movies of 2016. Streaming Do's and Don'ts Cry Wilderness - MST3K Season 12 - Netflix
Year 3 in Review: Part 1 17.04.2017 1:16:50
Its our third year anniversary and we are cranking out another episode where we recap the best bad movies we've seen in the last year. So happy anniversary to us and we look forward to another year of fine film choosing. This episode we each countdown our 10-5 picks. Streaming Do's and Don'ts Reptilicus - MST3K Season 12 - Netflix
Cutthroat Island - The Idiot Pirate Caper 10.04.2017 1:22:21
Its one of the worst box office flops that has ever existed and there's a reason for that. This movie stinks! But take some bad acting, bad action, terrible dialogue, and add in the "idiot plot" and you've got a great time ahead. Yo-ho, me scalped hardys! Let's get the most common complaint about this film - Geena Davis as action lady. Sure, she stinks. She's got no action ability and looks horren...
Prelude to Cutthroat Island 07.04.2017
In our FINAL Prelude episode (that's right, you heard it), we pull out all the stops for Cutthroat Island . It's known to be one of the biggest flops of cinema history and a career-ender for everyone involved except for the director who is at fault more than anyone. The Wild Card from Justin - Pop Quiz, Hotshot (Pirate Edition) Q . Pirates pierced their ears, not to look cool. Why? A. Believed pre...
Armageddon - Bad science is eclipsed by grossness 03.04.2017 1:31:18
It's one of the crappiest movies ever to have such vast success. Thanks teenage girls. This movie is a whole lot of visual pain and my brain hurts from knowing how stupid it is. Get ready for some real crummy science! The science....just one time open a book. Just once! So many explosions in space. So much NASA looking completely stupid. Ugh. Moving on... Despite how bad the science is, it's reall...
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