Plumbing the Death Star

In which our heroes don’t care that it’s bigger on the inside, aren’t impressed with how many parsecs you made the Kessel Run in and don’t want to deal with that mutant problem on Earth 616 because there are worse fictional universes to live in. We look at the ethics of mind control, the potential problems that arise when body switching and the responsibility of owning pets at such a young age. Ja...

In which our heroes scour through the Gotham Gazette, flick through the Daily Planet and start chatting to some locals to see if they’d rather live in Gotham or Metropolis. We look at each city’s rogue gallery, the likely collateral damage that would inevitably take place and the level of corruption of the local police department amongst other things. Jackson’s late for work again no matter where...

In which our heroes join the DCP, get slaughtered on the job and have our lifeless corpses turned into half robots, half mans and all cops. We look at how important our dicks are, reminisce about that one robot that commits suicide in the second film (maybe?), and imagine an aged Robocop going through Alzheimer’s. Jackson points out that robotics and cybernetics are two completely different school...

In which our heroes live through another mass escape from Arkham, stock up on bottled water as Gotham’s water supply has been poisoned again and watch the news for potential Joker gas threats as they wonder why Batman doesn’t just kill the Joker? We look at all the bad things Joker has done, a sure fire way to get out of having to vote ever again and review Arkham’s revolving door policy. Jackson...

In which our heroes crash land on an alien planet, splash around in some black goo, and end up host to a parasitic alien as we ask if xenomorphs a good weapon? We attempt to decipher Prometheus, wonder what would happen if a facehugger impregnated a xenomorph, and explore the almost certain possibility of the existence of space gorillas. Zammit likens xenomorphs to pandas, James is amazed that xen...

In which our heroes use proper conflict resolution techniques, try to adhere to strict workplace guidelines and policies but end up submitting a written complaint anyway as they wonder what the real problems fictional HR departments have to deal with. We look at the requirements for being Batman’s butler, wonder what the orcs actually wanted in Lord of the Rings, and ask if Rocky I-VI is racist. Z...

In which our heroes turn to their inner demons, poison the water supply and cackle manically while wondering what villainous theme they would take if they lived in Gotham City. We look at saving developing countries from starvation, going to university to study fire and the best way to recruit henchmen. Jackson has a fascination with beef, Duscher is confused about how being born works and Zammit...

In which our heroes help our dad around the farm and try to minimise their parents crippling debt by taking on a job while wondering why that Kent kid doesn’t help out his folks but instead sits around all day, mopes about girl problems and eats pop-tarts. We look at Clark’s diamond making potential, his possible career as a delivery man for literally everywhere and if Batman has ever lent him the...

In which our heroes revisit Jurassic Park, go on another (mis)guided tour and run from the dinosaurs that have inevitable escaped from their enclosures while wondering if John Hammond is a bad boss. We look at the complications of building a theme-park on top of Central Park, the many ways one foolish man can traumatise young children, and the outstanding prehistory of horses. Jackson hires mercen...

In which our heroes will be there for you when the rain starts to pour, slap a reserved sign in front of an ugly orange couch, and drink far too much coffee while wondering who is objectively the best friend in F*R*I*E*N*D*S? In a process of elimination spanning several categories, we look at which F*R*I*E*N*D would dominate in a fight, who is arguably the best actual friend and unanimously agree...

In which our heroes get exposed to some chemicals, don spandex HazMat suits and generally do whatever a spider can while wondering just how radioactive Spiderman is. We look at how dangerously potent Peter Parker’s bodily fluids are, which of Spiderman’s girlfriends are most susceptible to radiation poisoning and how dedicated some of Marvel’s villains truly are. James ponders how many deaths Tobe...

In which our heroes gather up the world’s greatest villains, try to see their inner good and flip the switch to see which bad guy would make the best good guy. We explore how sharks can solve any crime, the benefits of dance magic and that there are some viruses worth having. Jackson wants to waltz all his problems into a jail cell, Zammit reinvents Street Sharks, Duscher gets stressed out over mo...

In which our heroes gorge themselves on chocolate, press all the buttons in the Wonka-vator, get PTSD from the Boat Tunnel and are handed the keys to a chocolate factory, all while wondering if Willy Wonka knows how to run a business. We look at the nefarious secret life of Mr Wonka, the use of slave labour in exchange for cacao beans and try to figure out how to pronounce the word pygmy. Jackson...

In which our heroes take a rocket to the JLA satellite, take one look at the original members, and wonder what the hell Batman is doing amongst an underwater king, an invulnerable alien and the literal god of war. Jackson doesn't believe protecting one city is impressive enough, Zammit misremembers the sound of music, Duscher likens Batman to Hawkeye, and Mason just thinks the JLA look like a bunc...

In which our heroes join the Empire, check out the schematics for a new super weapon and witness a planet wide explosion as they start to question if the Death Star is really the best way to take out the Rebel scum. Join us as we discuss the Moff ranking system, the issue with Stormtrooper morale and Darth Vader's swimming trunks. Jackson thinks the Death Star is too big, Zammit is stressed about...

In which our heroes survive the initial onslaught, emotionally recover from yet another faked death and pause long enough to stop beating on a sentient room as they start to wonder if Charles Xavier really is a jerk. We once again wonder what kind of education Charles actually provides, how any of the X-Men can look each other in the eye, and try and figure out who bathes Professor X. Jackson wond...

In which our heroes eat after midnight, take a long bath and enjoy a frolic in the sun’s magnificent rays while wondering when can you feed a Mogwai? We discuss the arbitrary nature of midnight, how much of a wuss Gizmo is, and the amazing and ruthless nature of Mrs. Deagle. Jackson tries his hardest to connect Gremlins to the Alien franchise, Zammit shines a light on the potential secret history...

In which our heroes come ready with opinions, observations and their general feelings on what they thought of the latest cinematic masterpiece from Marvel Studios. We discuss how right and wrong our prediction were, give James some free material for his next ‘Every Easter Egg in the Avengers’ YouTube video and compare a lot of things to Empire Strikes Back. Zammit was mildly entertained, James lov...

In which our heroes take a trip to Nal Hutta, start chatting to the locals and endeavour to start a criminal empire as we question just how the Hutts rose to power. We try to figure out how slug like the Hutts actually are, dry retch at the idea of Hutt Grease, and wonder if Hutts are just all muscle. Jackson proposes a symbiotic relationship between Hutts and Salacious Crumbs, James points out th...

In which our heroes make a wish, blurt out the truth without thinking and hijack an airport staircase, all while wondering what the ramifications of Liar Liar are? We look at how much of Fletcher’s motivation comes from redemption versus compulsion, if he should have a spin-off buddy film with Robocop, try to figure out if the kid making the wish has magical powers and as a group completely misund...

In which our heroes study up on the latest rumours, disregard it all in favour of wild accusations before turning to outright lies as we speculate what’s gonna happen in the Avengers 2: Age of Ultron. We predict inevitable character deaths, inevitable infinity stone reveals and inevitable trips for Hulk into space. Zammit explains the popularity of Russian ballet troops in the 60s, James thinks we...

In which our heroes move from Gotham to Hell's Kitchen, request the services of Nelson and Murdoch, consulting the Avocados at Law to get their opinion on whether Daredevil is a better Batman than Batman. We look at exactly how much of a hassle the Joker is, wonder how being a superhero lawyer works morally and the logistics of Batman's sleep cycle. Zammit is scared of the Demon Bat that lurks ben...

In which our heroes bid farewell to their time period, crash a plane into the snow, and slowly become encased in ice while wondering what the ramifications would be if we woke up sixty years in the future. We imagine horrifying future porn, the nature of lactic acid and Rove McManus’ quest for relevancy. Jackson wonders how meaningful Captain America’s relationship with Peggy actually was, James b...

In which our heroes get caught in a particle accelerator explosion, gain the power of speed and start putting other powered people in windowless boxes underground with the blessing of our cop dad and never once question any ethical dilemmas that might arise. We attempt to sue the Hulk, suggest meta humans should have their own system of law, and explore the bitchiness of the Justice League. Jackso...

In which our heroes open up a competing paranormal extermination business, buy some second hand proton packs and immediately cross the streams while wondering what New York did with all the ghosts before the Ghostbusters turned up? We discuss the transit responsibilities of Slimer, the government’s role in preventing possibly apocalypses, and the very real danger of warlocks. Jackson's not sure gh...