Plan P

The Power of Positive Speaking In this episode we chat about The Power of Positive Speaking. We discuss using words that focus on what we want to achieve or encourage, rather than what we want to avoid or eliminate. This subtle shift can make a big difference in how the message is received. By practicing positivity, we can foster an environment of trust and encouragement rather than criticism. Wit...

Episode 47:  Reliability and Regulation in Parenting In this episode of Plan P: Parents Helping Parents Pivot Perspectives  we deep dive into the concepts of reliability and regulation, focusing on how they impact our relationships, especially with adolescents. We'll break down these terms, explore their significance, and discuss how they shape effective parenting and personal growth. Reliability...

Personalize Your Plan Parenting adolescents can be challenging emotionally as we navigate their development.  Humans, and human parents, can take things personally, especially when it comes to our children's behaviors and reactions. When parenting through the preteen, teen and young adult years a crucial question is HOW do we want to personalize, HOW do we want to attach? Connecting to- not cuttin...

Yes You CAN There are many actionable steps which parents CAN take to mitigate the negative effects of social media. Introducing three healthy C’s: Compassion, Communication, Collaboration which when used consistently can have positive effects. We’re back, and so is the Surgeon General who is considering placing warnings on social media due to addiction concerns. Social media has a pervasive impac...

What You Permit You Promote In this episode we discuss the permission slips we give when we allow behaviors.  Parents get accustomed to doing something for their child when the child could actually do it themselves as they age. We parents, all parents we would dare to say, sometimes allow our children to wear us down until we give them what they want. We say to ourselves and others “It’s just not...

Care of Self   Self-Care reminders are ev-er-y-where!! We like to take things apart and putting care in front of self is something that we talk about all the time with parents.  We have met many parents who reassure us that they have a lot of self-care practices, and they are still struggling. Putting care first can be harder than we think.  What it first offers is the opportunity to explore who t...

Producing and Practicing Can we all agree, parenting anxious adolescents can be anxiety producing!  This week we’re talking about Jonathan Haidt’s latest book, The Anxious Generation. Parents are afraid, schools are stressed, and no surprise, trickle down anxiety, there’s an entire generation awash in anxiety...and the cycle goes around again.  It makes total sense that parents are scared given ev...

What is a belief?  Beliefs are personal, not right or wrong.  To believe that there are things we will never understand can be a challenge. Our beliefs about things outside our control inform our attitudes, they can cause us pain and despair, and also joy and release.  What we humans can do is shift our attitude. Understanding that we do not hold all control requires a letting go. Believing that t...

Plugging into the Power (of Pausing) Pausing is a great way to invite an adolescent (or, okay, anyone!) into a conversation.  Pausing when you are interacting with a preteen, teen or young adult can be hard, they move fast! How do you plug into the pause depends upon the situation and the individuals. Feeling like a Pushmi-Pullyu, pushing and pulling and going nowhere?   Have you tried pushing bac...

Professionals often call us to consult and ask if a particular family falls under the scope of what we do here as coaches.  Generally, the answer is yes, because what we do is help parents make a plan, and often work with them as that plan is implemented. Each family’s plan is completely unique based on what they want. In this episode we just chat about what we do and how that helps parents build...

Parenting is a relationship. A relationship which parents do not want to detach from!   Letting a child hit “rock bottom”, “suffer the consequences” or many of the other “tough love” practices (which have been debunked but are very much still out there and are often suggested by friends and family who feel at a loss as to how to help and who often feel the pain themselves). What we suggest in this...

How to Care, not coddle. In this episode we discuss what is no secret- there is a generation who are struggling, and parents are concerned. It makes total sense that conscious parents and educators who were aware of the significant spike in poor mental health starting to be observed in 2012 and continuing upward wanted to protect their children from pain.   Jonathan Haidt, in his book The Coddling...

Social Media We talk with parents A LOT about social media.  How do you navigate this social media world?  How do you navigate your relationship with your children’s relationship with social media?  It’s a lot! Social Media is…..social! We all want to belong and feel significant, at every age, and this is an even more intense yearning during adolescence.  There are so many more places to connect a...

In this episode we discuss Kim Scott’s book Radical Candor. Her book will not be found in the family section, because it’s a business book, but stay with us here, radical candor is basically being honest. Doesn’t sound radical, but being honest isn’t always easy. Caring is easy, as parents we care.  What Scott talks about is challenging ourselves to get outside our comfort zone or care, and also c...

Resilience support How good are you at moving on after being disappointed or hurt or making a mistake? Resilience is not always easy. It is learned.  When our children were younger, they built resilience when they were learning to ride a bike and they fell.  Some kids got right back on, some kids cried and wanted to be held while they cried. We met them where they were, trusting that they would le...

Everyone knows that practice makes perfect, right?  Yeahhhh. And, no! What if you could get away from the pressure of that illusion that perfection is possible? How does this notion of perfection impact our beloved preteen, teen and young adult children, because everywhere you  look, they are feeling the pressure. How can we as individuals get away from that terrible weighty notion that we are str...

Personal Care Taking care of yourself when parenting preteens, teens and young adults can be challenging.  We talk honestly about how hard it can be to take care of yourself from the very beginning of the parenting journey, and just when you think you might catch a break-and take a bath or read a book, get a mani-pedi or a massage….” just kidding” say the adolescent years. In this episode we talk...

Planning Party Planning The luck of the Irish? Yeahhh, St. Patrick’s Day, as the parent of a teen? Doesn’t always make parents feel so lucky. The kids are growing up and the wearing of the green is oft accompanied by the drinking of the green beer, the green jello shots and well, goodness knows what else they’ve figured out to dye green besides the Chicago River. Everyone loves this holiday? No, n...

Paradoxes   Tap into the wisdom of Socrates, the Tao, Rumi and Erykah among others, as we help parents understand how to accept and apply the paradoxes presented by these wise people to parenting teens!  If we know that we know nothing about anything, then what could we possibly teach our children? Ah, the wisdom of the ages is here to help and we are here to help you understand how to embrace it,...

The Power of Pollyanna Perspective There is much power to be found in positivity WHEN used properly!  Pollyana can get a bad rap. We understand why.  The ability to genuinely understand how to use, and not abuse or misuse, positivity is complicated. The reason we talk about it in this episode is because it can change interpersonal relationships for the better, which is what parents of adolescents...

Understanding how to find balance while transitioning from boss of a child, to staying on as the trusted consultant to a young adult deserves a transition team!  Sarah and Quin have got you!  Parenting adolescents is for many the hardest part of the parenting journey.  Staying positive can feel like a challenge but knowing that you have something positive to practice can make a huge difference. On...

Pondering our part is parenting pertinent and also entirely possible.  Accountability is the tune this week on the podcast and is a central tenant of secure parenting. Listen to Sarah and Quinn as they discuss listening and understanding where your part begins and ends. How do you find a place to hear different points of view, which your adolescent children are sure to offer! Learning how to slowl...

Parents understand the importance of paying attention to and listening to their children. This is a vital part of any healthy relationship. Listening is hard! In this episode Sarah Pollak and Quinn Faison discuss and dial into how to take listening to the next level. Listening to understand is next-level listening.  One step forward is repeating back exactly what their child said to them. This par...

In this episode, Sarah Pollak and Quinn Faison delve deep into the intricate world of parental perception and its impact on our roles as caregivers. They shine a light on the common tendency to jump to conclusions about our teens' intentions, whether positive or negative, and how this perception can sometimes lead us astray. It becomes evident that our perception can be a confining prison if left...

What if success was failure and failure was success? In this thought-provoking episode, Sarah Pollak and Quinn Faison delve into the concept of setting and achieving goals, inspired by a compelling Ted Talk by former NFL player Emmanuel Acho. The discussion challenges conventional wisdom surrounding goals, emphasizing the importance of flexibility and adaptation. While goals can provide direction...