Permission to be Powerful Podcast

I plan each day as precisely as possible. Everything has a time and place. I’m like a giant wind-up doll. That’s ideal when you have ADHD. If everything is planned, you have an advantage. You won’t stumble or lose things with a smooth process. And you’ll have a backup plan. ADHD means you’re in chaos mode. That’s why I go to bed in the same way. I tend to live with lots of precise rituals. My offi...

I used to think attraction was about effort. 👉 That if you showed someone enough kindness, patience, and interest, they’d see your worth. 👉 That if you were available, they’d appreciate it. 👉 That if you pursued with the right mix of charm and persistence, it would pay off. I was wrong. Attraction doesn’t work that way. Effort doesn’t create desire. I don’t chase anymore. I don’t convince. And...

I’ve seen this repeatedly—people breaking down because I listened. That’s the power of good listening. “How are you?” I asked. “Fine, thanks.” She said. But I didn’t accept her superficial answer. I said, “Are you sure? Because the last time we spoke, I felt you might be going through something.” She Starts Crying Her father had stage 4 cancer. Being attentive like that can allow you to step deepl...

Woosh, woosh… The stick cracks against my shoulders—twice. It’s quick, but the jolt lingers. The monk moves on to the next person. I visit Chapin Mill, a Buddhist monastery in Batavia, New York, every few months. For two days, I live like a real monk. Being a member of this secret society is like attending Buddhist Harvard. There are so many culty moments, yet everyone is blissfully unaware. We wa...

EDITOR’S NOTE: This is a letter to my 17 year old self. Anton, You’re a beautiful human being. You can’t even recognize how you are night and day compared to everyone else in the family. You are not like them. Stop agonizing about finding a girlfriend. If you only listen to ONE thing I say, let it be this: GET A THERAPIST. (It will save you years of suffering.) Stay focused. You’re way more powerf...

I always used to hope that someone would recognize my greatness… Thereby granting me unbridled access to it. What a ridiculous notion. Greatness comes from within. I have a 77-year-old dance teacher who taught me a lot about how to be great. As I mentioned in my upcoming book, she was one of Garth Fagan’s dancers. He’s the guy who choreographed the Broadway version of The Lion King. This unassumin...

There’s a dimension to human connection that most people never think about. It’s the question of being seen. We’re all flesh and blood. We all eat, sleep, and grow old. It’s easy to assume we’re all the same because of that. But there’s one way we’re wildly different: It’s how much of ourselves we’re willing to show the world. How authentic we are. And I’ll tell you this— When you lean into authen...

We’re taught from a young age to “be nice.” To smile even when we don’t feel like it. Be polite, even when someone is rude. To avoid conflict. To be agreeable. To make other people feel comfortable—even at our own expense. And at first, it sounds like good advice. Who doesn’t want to be seen as a kind, likable person? Who doesn’t want to get along with others? But there’s a dark side to being “nic...

I used to think saying “no” was a crime. Not literally, of course. But based on how people reacted to me setting a boundary, you’d think I was out here committing a felony. The first time I put my foot down, I was stunned by the backlash. People lost their minds. I wasn’t rude. I wasn’t unkind. I wasn’t even dramatic about it. I just said, “No.” And suddenly, I was the villain. That’s when I reali...

I love playing with you guys. I LOVE having a place to express myself freely. I think I have never been this aligned and transparent ever. And the best part, y’all, is that I’m a master communicator. My words are lethal weapons. I know more about communication than most. I have JFK’s charm, Morgan Freeman’s voice, and Mark Twain’s wit. I aim to please the crowd. You deserve it, and not everyone do...

Dancing isn’t just movement. It’s electricity. A rush of music, colors, lights, and scents —so intoxicating it blurs into a single, euphoric moment. Maybe it’s not the kind of joy you find by looking within. But it’s joy nonetheless—pure, undiluted, and holy. And after almost every party, I thank God for it. Why do I love dancing salsa and bachata so much? Well… For starters… I love women. Plain a...

Neglect isn’t always a big, obvious thing. Sometimes, it’s the little things—those habits you fall into, those parts of your life you ignore because you’re too busy, tired, or overwhelmed to face them. For years, I let things go unaddressed, and they became so normal to me that I didn’t even realize I was neglecting my well-being. Vertigo, for example, became just another part of my routine. Every...

I don’t choose this unconventional approach because I’m afraid of conflict. Or because I want to avoid tough conversations… But because I’ve seen what in-person fights do. * They can turn reasonable people into monsters. * They escalate FAST. * And when one person fights for power instead of understanding? There’s no way to win. That’s why I fight over email. I’ve noted since my divorce that other...

Did you marry that person? Uh oh… You’re in for some trouble. I used to really underestimate how dedicated my ex-wife was to winning any given fight. It took hundreds of encounters before I understood that she expected to come out on top and reassert her dominance over me 100% of the time. Anything less would be viewed as failure and weakness on her part. Do people like this exist? Yes. It’s like...

It’s uncomfortable to admit, but most people never change meaningfully. Sure, they might tweak a behavior or two—leave the toilet seat down, remember your birthday, or cut back on late-night snacking. But those surface-level adjustments aren’t real change. They don’t rewrite the underlying story that defines who they are. Real change—shifting someone’s identity, core beliefs, and emotional wiring...

Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when published It’s not laziness. It’s deeper than that. Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when published I wanted to build my brand for a good 20 years. Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when published But I never put myself out there. Text within this block will maintain its original spacing...

One of my great victories since my divorce has been reclaiming the radio. I was in a very codependent relationship for 8 years. Over all that time, my ex dominated the radio in the car 100% of the time. No exceptions. Don’t get me wrong, she had pretty good taste in music. However… I became alienated from my taste in music. I forgot how much music enriched my soul. I was wholly alienated from myse...

I just hung up on a relative. I won’t listen to you if you don’t listen to me. I’ve played that game before. I know how it ends. I’m not playing it again. People assume I have different policies depending on the person or situation. I don’t. My hang-up policy is universal. It just so happens that my relatives are extreme, so sometimes, I have to be extreme in kind. Why? Because trying to explain t...

I walked into my first therapy session with a sick feeling in my gut. I wasn’t just in bad relationships—I was a liability to myself. No matter what I did, I kept ending up in one-sided relationships. The pattern was too pronounced to ignore. If I stopped putting in the effort, the relationship would fall apart. I was always the one who called first. The one who made the plans. The one who drove t...

I didn’t want to write this. I’ve avoided this topic for months. But I realized people can benefit from hearing what happened. So, I’ll hold my nose and tell you what I learned. I’m a copywriter by trade, and I can tell you—landing Tony Robbins as a client is every copywriter’s dream. My friend, hired as my Copy Chief, once got a standing ovation at a seminar just because her name was announced. T...

Controlling people have been telling me what to do for my whole life: what to do, what not to do, what to think, what not to think, who to be, who not to be… There is an unhealed part of me that is still very much attracted to controlling people because in a sense… it’s all that I know. When it comes to breaking free from a controlling dynamic, it matters whether this is your first time in such a...

I’m one of those guys who loves working ADHD into a conversation. I love sharing what I know because I know a lot about ADHD. The other motivation is to inform the public, which is mainly unaware of ADHD and how it affects people’s lives. Sometimes, those people live under the same roof as them. And they have no idea what struggles that family members are going through. Some of those people are st...

After seven days of near-continuous meditation, I walked away with a stutter, shaking hands, and felt like I aged 30 years. It wasn’t enlightenment. It was war. I think that I had to stay focused entirely on my breath for somewhere around 80 hours… and the minute I relaxed, a few screws fell loose. That’s the best way I can put it. I’m not too worried about it — I think of it as a couple of harmle...

I’m taking a step back—from everything. I used to obsess over adding more friends on Facebook, collecting likes and comments like they meant something. Not anymore. I purged 90% of my “friends” and stopped adding new people altogether. Now, I’m waiting. I’m standing completely still to see who notices. Who reaches out? Who thinks about me? Who shows up when I stop chasing? This little experiment h...

Dear Permission to be Powerful Reader, In my memoir, I mention a scene from the movie Christine that’s seared into my mind. A woman who, in a shocking and heartbreaking moment, blew her brains out on live television. That scene was raw and disturbing, and in many ways, it marked me. It left an imprint on my psyche, a reminder of how despair can drive people to do unimaginable things to those of us...